


All the 80's songs talk about me

by MaxReichenblack



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Do not fall for straight men ffs, Drama, Eventual Fluff, GFY, M/M, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-05-31 23:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 65,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15130076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxReichenblack/pseuds/MaxReichenblack
Summary: Chris Redfield is still more inside the closet than out, which makes every chance of dating and settling down a bit harder. On top of it all, he has a crush on a straight dude and his sister won't stop setting him up with every single gay guy she comes across.





	1. I want to dance with somebody

Chris was on his way home, alone after hanging out in the club. He felt a bit miserable and probably too old for the whole club scene, but it was the best place to meet guys, and also the worst.

He had gotten used to the few drinks, the quicky in the restrooms and going back home on his own. That wasn’t enough in the beginning and much less now. He felt lonely, and in all these years he never had a steady partner, except Jill and that hadn’t ended precisely well. When he came to her, she was so mad, but not for Chris being into guys but because he hadn’t told her sooner. She and Claire had been trying to set him up with several guys.

Those blind dates had been only slightly better than the anonymous sex in the club, more conversation, and less sex, but still meaningless.

He wasn’t getting any younger, and at times he couldn't help but wonder if he’d die alone and without anyone who’d miss him. Other times he wondered if he was just too picky. Having a huge crush on his sister’s best friend didn’t help, and having the whole New York ordeal so recent, Chris couldn’t shake Leon Kennedy out of his head.

He had even found himself looking for guys who looked like the blonde DSO agent. He got home and murmured a sad “welcome home” to himself. He undressed as he walked towards his room and threw all his clothes in the laundry basket. His apartment was too big for just him on nights like that one.

He had actually picked that apartment thinking that maybe someday he wouldn’t live there alone. These days he was thinking about getting a dog to make that actually happen.

Chris left himself fall in his bed, exhausted. He was going to let Claire and Jill get him one more of those awkward, uncomfortable dates, and after that, he’ll give up. He found his phone on his nightstand and unlocked the screen.

Grinder was on fire, most guys in the city hanging out and looking for a hookup. The ones that wanted something else were few and not interested in most applicants. Or at least not on Chris himself. What do men look for in other men to settle down? Chris would happily take any guy who just loved him enough to keep up with all his stuff. And yet that was too much to ask.

While scrolling through the naked torsos and the unbelievable bios, Chris came across a few familiar faces, guys he’d tried to date, others that he had just fucked once and then that married guy he had actually liked but who disappeared back then and now seemed to be back on the market. He probably had lost Chris number, he thought, letting a sad chuckle out.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point while on the phone and woke up with the damn device ringing. He saw his sister’s name on the screen and that silly picture of her with some app filter and kitten ears and whiskers.

“Yo,” he answered the phone.

“Don’t yo me. We having breakfast today. With Leon and maybe Jill. If she’s not hungover as fuck,” his little sister said.

“Claire, I’m not even awake, I went out last night, and I’m tired.”

“Did you meet any nice guy?”

“One, but we didn’t talk much, he had his mouth full.” The younger Redfield stayed quiet enough to make sure Chris got the message.

“We’re going to that place you like by the docks, so hurry up. Bitch,” She added before hanging up.

Chris let his phone fall on the bed as he stretched. Breakfast with Claire and Leon. The ex-blonde was looking crazily hot with that darker hair color. Just a few weeks ago, after the whole incident in New York, he and Leon ended up in a bar and had a few drinks, and that was when his tiny crush went full-on high school crush. Now he couldn’t barely be in Leon’s presence without making a fool of himself.

Leon bangs looked so soft. And so did his lips. Chris wondered if his skin was as pale everywhere? Chris was lying on the bed, caressing his own chest while his hands went south. Leon in the morning might have that effect on him.

Soon he was taking care of his morning wood thinking of the blonde starring every single one of his fantasies. Leon should be ashamed of what he did on Chris’ imagination.

As usual, once he was done, he felt ashamed. How was he supposed to meet Leon in less than an hour after jacking off thinking of him? Chris sighed loudly and stood up and going to the bathroom.

 

After a shower and some grooming, he put some clothes on and took his wallet and keys and left his apartment. On the stairs, he ran into his neighbors, a young couple who had just moved recently and Chris wasn’t sure if she was noisier during sex or when they fought, but they were the worst in both situations. He greeted them politely while descending the remaining steps.

The morning was cloudy and cool, but it didn’t look like rain, not yet at least. Chris walked towards the cafe Claire had mentioned, starting to think that maybe his jeans and Hemley were too casual? Claire was probably hungover, so maybe she hadn't dressed up. He arrived at the cafeteria and asked if his sister was already there. He and Claire used to have brunch there from time to time, so some of the waiters knew them already.

The guy told him that Claire wasn’t there yet, but the other guy was already sitting at their table. He led Chris to one of the tables outside, by the docks, where Leon was already sitting and drinking orange juice. Or maybe a mimosa, you never knew when it came to the agent.

Chris took a breath and approached the other man.

“Hey,” he greeted Leon, sitting in one of the seats in front of him.

“Hey. She dragged you here too?”

“I think she was hungover or still drunk. She and Jill started hanging out a while ago, and now they have this fighting crime girls only club thing,” Chris joked. The truth is that after he came out, Jill and Claire bonded over that and over being worried about Chris’ love life, or lack of it.

“She somehow manages to drag Helena and Hunnigan into that too, you know? Hunnigan! She wouldn’t even give me her number, and now she’s out there till the wee hours with a bunch of other girls.” Chris knew the brunette was just kidding but still the mention of his attempts to get the woman’s number made him feel a bit uncomfortable.

“So, how are things? Anything new?” Chris asked, trying to go to a safer topic than love interests.

“Not much. I’ve been trying to get a hold of Ada. You haven’t heard anything recently, have you?” Leon asked, with the smallest sparkle of hope in his eyes. At that moment Chris thought that even if he had heard something, he probably wouldn't tell him.

“Ah, no. Nothing after China,” Chris said. Leon nodded and took another sip of his drink. It was a fucking mimosa, Chris was sure now. He ordered one for himself. He could use some breakfast alcohol. “How’s your arm, by the way?” he asked. Leon had been injured after that last fight against Arias and Chris remembered him complaining about his arm.

“Oh, much better, like new,” the brunette said, moving his arm around to show. “That was one fucked up vacation.”

“I’m still sorry about that.”

“Not your fault, you weren’t the one to kidnap Rebecca and to plan to fuck up New York.”

“Still, I’m sure you had better plans than killing BOWS in New York with me for your vacation,” Chris said looking at his just served to drink.

“I was probably going to spend my week of trying to find Ada, so the distraction was most welcome. Besides, I had a great time with you and Rebecca in that awful bar afterward. You are really funny when drunk.”

“No, I’m not, but you were so drunk you found everything hilarious,” Chris clarified. Leon looked down at the at the table, chuckling through his nose.

"Guess it's cause I take everything so seriously when sober." Chris' heart skipped a bit, not being used to seeing Leon smile or laugh. Leon looked up at him, a sad smile on his lips, "I don't enjoy much anymore. I don't have anyone to come home to. I'm always so caught up on Ada because I'm hoping, that maybe deep down, she really does care. Mainly because it feels like she's the only one who really knows me...but I don't anything about her. Every time I think I do, she changes." He said sadly, stirring the straw in his glass, "You think you know someone one minute, and then the next, it's like they're a completely different person. You know?"

“I…” Chris was at a loss, he didn’t know what to say, so he was just staring at Leon like an idiot. Before he could say anything else, the brunette raised a brow, looking at him.

"Chris? Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin a good time. Are you okay?" He asked, waving a hand in front of the elder's face.

“Yeah, no, I’m just-“ He had never been happier to see his grumpy hungover sister, “Claire!” He called, avoiding Leon's question.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted, sitting next to Leon. She was wearing the huge sunglasses Chris knew she only wore when she was hungover, that made him smile. They took their family reunions seriously, even if it was just the two of them, they made time for each other. Leon looked up at the red-head, withholding a laugh. The usually kept together, and upbeat Claire Redfield looked as though she had just rolled out of bed and looked angry as all hell to be awake right now.

“You okay?” Chris asked her.

“Hungover. What about you?” She asked. She didn’t elaborate any more than that since Leon didn’t know about Chris preferences.

“I didn’t drink that much,” he told her.

“What about you? You still pining?” She asked Leon. Claire might be hungover, but she was still bent on fixing everyone else’s lives.

 "Well, hello to you too, Sunshine. You look like you had a good night, last night." Leon asked, biting back a laugh and discarding the woman’s question. Claire made a face at her best friend, rubbing her temples.

“I might have had one too many shots. ”

"And that's why I start my drinking early. Can't get hungover if you never stop drinking." Leon said, sipping his mimosa, "And to answer your question; I'm not pining, I'm still working on it. There were supposed sightings of her somewhere here in DC."

“So how’s Steve? Stuart?” Chris asked, squinting. He didn’t remember the name of Claire’s new boyfriend.

“Sven?” Leon offered, “No, wait, Sweeney?” Chris looked at the younger man wondering if he was serious.

“You are both idiots and Sean is fine,” she asked a coffee and something to eat. Since the waiter was there, Chris ordered too, while Leon simply ordered a refill.

For better or for worse, once Claire was there, the conversation flowed a lot easier and before Chris realized they were standing up and about to part ways.

Claire told him to call her the following week to have a Redfield Summit, or basically to have lunch with her and bitch about men, and Leon told him not to be a stranger. Chris smiled and probably blushed at that and hoped Claire didn’t see it.

 

The next week was like any other week, work, bad news, slightly better news, go home, then back to work. He tried not to think about Leon too much, but it all went to hell when they got intel about Ada Wong being in the DC area. Just like Leon had said. Would it make sense to let the blonde know? Or maybe it was better to keep this information to himself? Chris shook his head, what a stupid thought. Like keeping this information was going to make Leon forget about Ada or about the simple fact that he was straight.

It wasn’t like Chris was going to make Leon reconsider his womanizing ways. Deep down he suspected that Claire and Jill were right, maybe he just needed to take whatever he could have. Maybe some people were not supposed to find that one person that made their heart beat faster and their mouth dry. Chris believed he had found him in Leon, but maybe he couldn’t just have it.

At times he even thought that this was a punishment for the life he’d led. Against his best judgment, he texted Leon the info he had about Ada, only to receive a short reply with an “ok.” Not even a thank you. Chris discarded those thoughts and his feelings and decided to go to a club that night. It was Friday and maybe getting laid would help him cheer up a bit. Maybe he’d even meet a nice guy.

He was on his way home that same evening when he got a call. The ID on his phone showed Leon’s name and number, but Chris was confused.

“Leon?”

“Hey, thanks for the heads up,” the agent said in a weird tone.

“No problem. Is everything okay?” Chris asked. He was almost positive that he didn’t want to know.

“We got her,” Leon said, but it didn’t sound like good news. “hey, do you want to grab a beer later?” Chris knew well he had to say no, and he wanted to mentally kick himself when he said “sure” before stopping himself.

There it went his sexy night. Instead of having meaningless sex with a perfect stranger, he was about to sit with the man he had feelings for and listen to his woman drama. Just what he needed.

He met Leon in a bar close to the blonde’s place. He had heard about it from Claire, it was the same place she met the girls. When Chris got there, Leon had had already a couple of beers.

“Hey,” Chris greeted him, sitting in the spot in front of Leon and signaling the waitress for a beer.

“Hey, you came!” Leon said, apparently surprised.

“Of course I did, you asked me to,” Chris said, confused.

“You are a nice guy Chris. Why didn’t you have better plans on a Friday night? Oh shit, don’t tell me-“

“I didn’t have any plans, don’t worry.” Leon was in a weird mood. None of his usual sass or snarky remarks. He just seemed down.

“How were things with Ada?”

“Honestly? Good. As in for the government. We caught here, and for the first time, she has nothing or no one to trade. I guess she ran out of poor little fools.”

“And yet you sound like someone shot your dog,” Chris observed.

“I don’t know what I expected. Look I’m in a bit of a shitty mood so if you are not up for…”

“I don’t mind. As I said, I didn’t have any plans and might as well stick by a friend having a bad day.”

“Christopher Redfield, you are too good a guy to spend a Friday night listen to my sorrows,” Leon said, with a sad smile. Chris didn’t want to be that guy pining for someone and being in the friend zone, that he already was, but he couldn’t make himself leave Leon there, being miserable and a bit drunk. So he took it. All of it. The whole story about Ada Wong, whose real name wasn’t Ada Wong.

Hours and several beers later, he walked Leon home, the agent was drunk but not enough to need help walking. Chris felt especially awkward when Leon hugged him in front of the entrance of his building while saying with slurred words that he was a good friend. Chris tried not to push Leon back to hard, but the blonde’s breath on his neck made him half hard immediately, and the feeling of the scrub on his skin made the rest.

“Good night, Leon,” Chris hurried, taking a step back and breaking the embrace, “take care.”

“Nighty night, captain,” Leon responded. He turned and walked into the building. Chris watched him till he disappeared into the elevator and then walked home. He needed to cool off, so he tried to distract himself from the feeling of Leon on his skin. It was useless, and as soon as he got home, he undressed and took a cold shower, which did little to alleviate his raging erection.

After succumbing to his dirty fantasies about pounding into the certain agent, Chris got in bed naked. It wasn’t that cold just yet, and he liked the feeling of his expensive soft sheets on his naked skin. Claire always made fun of his expensive tastes when it came to certain things, like his furniture or some of his clothes. They both had some money after their parents passed, and being a Captain in the BSAA was good money, so, owning his apartment and not paying rent allowed him to treat himself from time to time. If only he could treat someone else.

As it was becoming usual lately, he found himself lying in bed and checking Grindr, looking for something, for someone. He passed several profiles, stopping longer at those that show guys with longer blonde hair. He sighed and decided to try to get some sleep.

 

The next morning, he got another one of those calls from Claire to meet her for breakfast. She didn’t say much, only asked him to meet her in a café in a place at a time. Chris obliged, as usual, getting to the small French place just in time. Claire was there with Sean and some other guy Chris hadn’t met before.

“Sorry, I hope I’m not late,” Chris said, joining them.

“Oh, no worries, we just got here. Chrissy, this is Nick,” Claire introduced them.

“Hi,” the guy greeted him. Chris had to sit next to him, in front of Sean and Clare. Nick was, by all means, a handsome guy. Bright blue eyes, dark hair, a bit longer on the top, and a beautiful smile. “Your sister talks a lot about you,” he added.

“Nothing bad, I hope,” Chris joked Nick smiled again, a bright, honest smile.

“I would never, Chrissy,” his sister said.

They talked about nothing, and a bit of everything and Claire kept trying to sell him to Nick and vice-versa. Nick seemed like a nice guy, friendly, with a good sense of humor and the best part, he seemed to like Chris. He was a nurse in one of the big hospitals in Washington D.C. and was a coworker of Claire’s boyfriend, Sean.

By the end of the breakfast, they exchanged numbers and agreed to call each other for a drink sometime.

Chris spent most of the remaining day taking care of his place, doing laundry, changing his sheets, cleaning around and finally by the end of the day he went to buy some groceries. While he was on the store, he checked the items on his list one by one, indulging himself and looking at families and couples shopping.

He couldn’t help but look at his cart, everything he took was for one, enough for just one person. In the past few years, he had learned how to cook, he had even gone to some cooking classes with Jill and with Claire. He had found out that cooking helped him relax, after and in between missions. Usually, he cooked just for himself, although sometimes he’d have dinners in his apartment with friends and then he’d be able to show off whatever he’d mastered recently.

He wasn’t cooking for anybody, for now, he thought as he looked again at his half-empty cart. Maybe he could cook for Nick one of these days.

He was on the line to pay when his phone went off. It was his turn, so he tried to answer the phone while putting his groceries on the counter, so he couldn’t check the caller ID.

“Redfield,” he said in the same way he answered work calls.

“Woah, that sounds like business,” Leon said on the other side. The blonde’s voice raised goosebumps all over Chris’ body. “Was thinking that maybe you’d like to hang out later? I’m a bit ashamed for last night, and I actually had fun last night.”

Chris froze. Leon wanted to see him again? He knew it wasn’t a date, but still, he couldn’t help but feel thrilled and excited, so much he forgot about Nick completely.

“So, did you had plans for tonight?”

“I do now,” Chris said, with a silly smile on his face. He heard Leon chuckle on the other end. He started placing all his items on the counter while holding the phone against his ear and his shoulder.

“You are too nice, Redfield. I hope I’m not keeping you away from a hot date,” the younger man joked.

“When and where?” Chris asked, ignoring the question. It wasn’t a date, not really, but for Chris, it sort of felt like one.

“There is this Chinese bar, you know, Chinese, for old times sake?”

“Send me the address, and I’ll see you there,” Chris said before the goodbyes. He couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. He was hanging out with Leon, spending time together. Deep down he knew it meant nothing but for now, just to spend time with the blonde was so precious.

 

That night he and Leon went to the Chinese place. They had some weird Chinese beer, dumplings, spring rolls and ended with some liquor that came from a bottle with a cobra on it. They talked and talked for hours, remembering things they’ve been through together and apart. It was all fun and laughs until Leon started talking about women. Chris just listened to mentioned names and stories about several women he had met lately. When Leon asked about Chris, he stuttered and was only able to provide some lame excuse.

“Oh, come on, you are a good looking guy, I’m sure most girls want some,” the blonde was saying as they left the bar.

“I-I’m not like you, Leon. I’m not good at… talking and-“ Chris was trying to say.

“I’ll help you, I’ll be your wingman. Although I don’t think you really need it. I hear about you and Jill. She’s beautiful. And badass.” Yeah, Leon was a bit drunk by then and making sure Chris knew what he liked in every woman ever.

“That didn’t work…” Chris said. He wanted to change the topic. Or maybe just say ‘you are more my type than she ever was,’ but he couldn’t just do that. Right? It’s not that he thought Leon wouldn't accept Chris if he knew his preferences, but it would definitely affect this new friendship growing between them.

“Hey, I had a great time,” Leon said when they got to the corner where they parted ways. “We should do this more often.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Chris said.

“I really appreciate that you are taking the time to just hang out with me. You know this is not an easy job, and we lose people all the time. I’m glad you are my friend, Redfield,” Leon said, putting his hand on Chris’ shoulder. The friendzone never looked so pathetic.

“Likewise, Kennedy,” Chris responded, trying not to look miserable. They said their good nights and went their respective ways.

While walking, Chris unlocked his phone, he had been ignoring it ever since Leon texted him the address. He had a few notifications from several apps and a text from Nick. He had wanted to know if Chris was free that night. That had been fast, the had just met that morning, and he was already making a move? Claire must have talked some really good stuff about him. He was about to text the other man back, but he realized it was nearly two in the morning.

He couldn’t stop thinking then that he had let go a chance to meet Nick and know him more to spend the evening with a man who would never see him as anything more than a bro.

Leave it to Chris to sabotage what probably was his only shot at having an actual relationship with another man.

He sighed and made a mental note to text Nick the following day. Maybe if he got to know Nick, he’d be able to move on and forget about this pathetic infatuation over Leon. Only time would tell, he decided.

 

 

 


	2. Should I stay or should I go

Things remained just like that for a couple of weeks, with the only difference of Nick. The man was definitely interested, and even though Chris felt flattered and appreciated the attention, he only had eyes for Leon, even more so now they were spending so much time together,

Nick had been offering to cook for him one of these weekends and Chris wanted to say yes because that most likely meant getting laid, but on the other hand, it meant not meeting Leon that night. He was enjoying so much his evenings with the blonde. They had been trying new places, going to the movies and even went shopping because Leon needed some things for his apartment.

Chris was fascinated with the agent, especially every time he discovered a new little thing about him, like how cute and proud sounded whenever he talked about his cat. He had even met said cat. At first, it had been sassy, but by the end of the movie the watched at Leon’s place, the cat was purring on top of Chris.

On Friday, after another week of texts that was closer to sexting than to casual conversation, Nick invited Chris over for dinner, and since he hadn’t heard from Leon yet, he just accepted the invitation. He needed to figure out what to do, he couldn’t pine forever.

In spite of it, when Friday came, and Chris was getting ready for his date, he looked at his phone several times, in case Leon had texted or called, and he hadn’t heard. He was a bit disappointed although he didn’t want to recognize it.

He got a text from the blonde when he was already on his way to Nick’s. The text was a mere excuse for not hanging out this weekend, according to Leon because of “Lady reasons.” So basically, Leon had discarded him the minute he got a woman to spend time with. He didn’t want to acknowledge how much that was hurting so he decided to enjoy his date as well.

Nick lived in a beautiful area in the city, not as nice as Chris’, but it was pretty decent. He knocked on the door, and as soon as the nurse opened the door, he showed the wine he had bought for the occasion.

“Oh, fancy. It’ll go great with what I’m cooking,” Nick said taking the bottle from Chris' hands.

“I’m glad to hear that. I wasn’t sure if white wine would be better. I don’t know what we are having for dinner after all.”

“I’m so glad you could make it,” the other man said approaching Chris and putting a hand on his neck, right before leaning in for a kiss. That was fast, Chris thought, but he kissed Nick back. He was actually looking forward to having whatever Nick was cooking for dinner, so he hoped not to skip dinner.

It was nice for one to have someone cook for him. Living alone Chris made dinner for himself most nights. Was it rude to stop kissing and ask about whatever delicious meal they were having?

“Ready for dinner?” Nick asked finally letting go of him.

“Actually, yeah,” Chris confessed.

The food was as delicious as it smelt. He had to give Nick that much, the man was a nurse with crazy hours half the time, and yet he had still managed to prepare some delicious and elaborated dinner just for Chris.

They talked some more over wine, about their jobs, the city, their families. Nick was an only child, his parents lived in Vermont and had been very against it when he had come out at first. With time, they embraced it, and the story warmed Chris’ heart. He liked happy endings.

“So, ready for the dessert?” Nick asked suggestively. He even did the eyebrow thing. Chris wouldn’t have minded some actual dessert.

“Whenever you are,” he responded. Nick giggled and stood up, walking towards what Chris assumed was the bedroom, looking over his shoulder as he undid his shirt. Chris stood and followed the younger man, undressing on his way as well.

When he reached the room, he saw Nick lighting a few candles and already wearing only a jockstrap. It was maybe the fact that he was not used to this kind of attention, but it all made Chris feel a bit uncomfortable, and he sort of hoped this wasn’t just another one of those meaningless one-night stands.

He offered to help Nick get ready but the brunette was almost there already, and in no time he was putting a condom on Chris with his mouth. That was one interesting skill, Chris thought.

The sex was good, both times. Nick was an enthusiastic, generous lover, which matched Chris perfectly. It was exciting, and they both had fun, but as soon as it was over, Chris couldn’t help but feel disheartened. He hadn’t been able to avoid thinking of Leon while he was inside the other man, and that only added to his already souring mood. Nick was so going to invite him to stay the night, and he couldn’t bear it anymore.

With some lame made up an excuse and made up work situation to attend, Chris apologized and kissed Nick good night. The younger man didn’t seem upset and made Chris promise a raincheck.

As soon as he left the building, he felt like he could finally breathe again. Why was he like this? Nick was nearly the perfect guy, and what was more important, he was interested in him romantically. Yet here he was, walking down the streets alone in the middle of the night, thinking about the straight guy who was never going to like him back.

Chris was going to self-sabotage this thing with Nick, and he already knew he wasn’t going to be able to help it.

Chris got home well past midnight. The walk didn’t help him clear his mind much. Arriving home that late to an empty apartment always made him a bit sad. He undressed, getting ready for bed, but as soon as he was naked he could smell the faint scent of sex still clinging onto him, so instead, he went to the ensuite bathroom to shower.

After fifteen minutes under the shower, he dried himself and got in bed naked. For some reason, even though it was part one in the morning, he checked his phone. Just in case.

To his delight and surprise, there was a text.

“Hey, you awake?” Leon’s text read. Giving the time it was, would it look desperate to answer right away?

“Why in the world are you texting me at… 2 in the morning?” Chris responded after waiting a few seconds.

"Couldn't sleep. Sorry, did I wake you?" Came the shy response. Chris' heart skipped a beat at. First, the blonde was the one to take the initiative once more and text him. Then came the realization that Leon was only texting because he couldn’t sleep and was probably bored after fucking some woman. Still, he was his usual looser and pathetic self.

“Nah, I was awake,” Chris texted. Absentmindedly, he elaborated, “just got home a little while ago.”

“Uh, hot date?” typed Leon adding an emoji. Chris realized his mistake immediately. Now it was too late to back off."Cheating on me?" the blonde added.

Chris groaned. If only the blonde knew.

"I kid, but seriously, who's the lucky lady?" Leon kept insisting. This man was going to be the death of him, Chris thought.

Would this be the right moment to tell Leon that he’s gay? Would that make things weird? Should he lie? He didn’t want to lie to Leon, but he didn’t feel comfortable coming out right then.

“One of Claire’s friends,” Chris said in the end, for lack of a better explanation. Technically, that wasn’t a lie.

"Oh,” Leon beamed, “she hot?" The blonde seemed now genuinely curious. "Do I know her?"

“It’s actually a friend of Sean’s, I doubt it.,” Chris tried. Actually, it was unlikely that Leon had met Nick. In an attempt to change the topic, Chris texted “so how come you cannot sleep?”

“Meh, Sean...Claire's guy, right? Anyway, I can't sleep cause one woman tried to make a move on me, and I wasn't comfortable with it, and now I swear I hear someone outside my apartment."

Chris was relieved for about a second with the change of subject, but then he got concerned. Was Leon in danger? He was definitely scared.

“I can come over if that would make you feel better,” Chris offered before he can think it over, as usual when it came to Leon. He just wanted to see him. To be able to look at the blonde and maybe see one of those weird smiles he rarely showed. Leon probably didn’t know how beautiful his smile was.

"I don't want to be a bother. But that would be appreciative. Thanks."

Chris let out a sad chuckle. Like Leon was ever a bother to him. If Leon said the word, Chris would probably drop everything and run to his side. What a pathetic loser he had become.

“You’re not a bother. I’ll be there in 20,” the older man texted, wide awake now.

"Kk." Leon texted back.

* * *

 

Someone banged on his door suddenly, breaking the silence of the night.

"I said I was sowwy! I didn't mean to grab your junk!" The woman, Jessica, hollered. Munchkin hid under Leon's blanket, little gold eyes staring up at him. Munchkin meowed loudly, fur on end at the sound.

"I agree," Leon said to the feline, hiding in his bedroom under the blanket as well.

The knocking and yelling stopped suddenly. Leon sat up, trying to listen to whatever noise, and was startled by another knock on his door, this time not so hard.

“This is Chris, not the crazy woman.,” Leon heard the older man say through the door. He was so glad he had a friend like Chris. He hadn’t had many friends during his life and those he had, tended to betray him or end dead, with countless exceptions.

At the sound of Chris' voice, Leon threw back the covers and made his way into the living room, forgetting he was only in his boxers.

"Hi." He greeted Chris with a tired smile as he opened the door. The older man was standing there wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and a grin. "Is she gone?" Leon asked, peeking out.

“She fled as soon as she saw me,” Chris said. A sigh of relief left the younger.

"Thank you. Seriously, I meant it. She was...crazed. I'll take a BOW any day over her. I thought she was going to break down the door."

“I’m glad I could be of any help, “ the elder said with a chuckle, “I can stay over if you need,” he offered, getting serious. He was too nice a guy, Leon thought at times. Always willing to help. Like a boy scout.  

“Would you? She kind of...startled me." Leon admitted shyly. It was bad enough to have almost gotten a panic attack because of Jessica’s aggressive seduction methods.

“Of course!” Chris said immediately. Leon chuckled.

"Okay," Leon nodded, not noticing Chris’ enthusiasm at the moment. He always thought Chris was such an upbeat guy 24/7. "Give me a minute to set up the pull-out?"

“Sure,” the elder responded, standing there in an awkward silence.

Leon smiled, thanking the elder again before heading to the hallway closet to retrieve some sheets, some pillows, and a comforter. He set them down on the recliner before rearranging the cushions and pulling out the pull-out bed. He neatly made it for the elder, "All yours."

“Thanks. I’ll be right here if you need me then?” Chris asked. Leon felt a lot better now with Chris here, but somehow he didn’t want to go to sleep just yet.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Leon said, still looking toward the door nervously.

 

Chris settled on the couch, getting comfortable while Leon stood on his way to his room. Before Chris could roll over, Leon stopped him.

 

"Uh, have you ever been in a really uncomfortable situation?" Leon asked. Chris looked back, confused.

“What do you mean?” the dark-haired man asked in return.

"Uh, well, that chick kind of...groped the hell out of me. And wouldn't take no for an answer. Pathetic, I know, that I couldn't fight off a female." Leon said sadly.

“It’s not pathetic. I get it, it can be unnerving I guess. No shame on that, ok?” Chris comforted him. Leon had come over to sit over the arm of the couch. Chris patted his thigh, “no need to think about it anymore, ok?”

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks." Leon said. Chris was like a huge teddy bear, just a comforting presence.

“Anytime,” the older man said with one last brief squeeze to his thigh.

Leon sighed, "Do mind if I sit out here with you? I'm still a bit on edge." The blonde asked hesitantly. Was he taking too much from Chris? He felt at times like the older man was always willing to go with whatever plan Leon had, but Leon never stopped to listen to him. Hell, the man just had a date that night, and Leon only allowed him to talk about it for one minute in several texts.

“Of course not, it’s your house! Maybe we can talk that edge off. So tell me, any other plans for the rest of the weekend?”

Leon sat on the recliner, pulling the little handle up to lounge in it. He pulled the blanket off of the back and wrapped it around himself, "Nothing much. I was going to watch the game at Ark's house, but he canceled last second. Big case coming up for him."

“I see. I’m free if you still interested in catching a game or something,” the older offered, again.

"Sure. Your place or mine?" Leon smiled.

“Mine? I’ll even prepare dinner. How does that sound?”

Leon raised a brow, "Really? So I finally get to try some of the famous Redfield cooking your sister has been bragging about?" He asked with a hint of excitement.

“She told you about it?!” Chris asked confused

"We got on the topic of Thanksgiving and then she started telling me about the awesome food you make at home."

“Well... it is true I took some cooking lessons, but it’s not...I mean, it’s okay I guess. If you have any suggestion of something you’d like to eat let me know, it’ll try to cook that.”

"Sweet! Do you want me to bring anything?" Leon asked curiously.

“You can bring some beer you fancy if you want?”

“Actually, I should bring some beer _you_ fancy,” Leon responded. “I know that since we started hanging out you’ve been there for me every time, whenever I called, you would come. I just want you to know that I’m here for you too, okay? So if you ever feel like there’s some you need to get off your chest…” Leon was saying. He sat up so he could look at Chris, who had also sat up straight and was looking at him so attentively.

He didn’t see it coming. It all happened so fast, they had been so close it only took one move for Chris to reach him. Before he had time to react, Chris’ lips were on his. They were warm and unexpectedly soft. Leon registered so many thoughts during the few seconds, Chris was kissing him. It was and sweet, tender kiss. But Chris was a guy.

Suddenly, Leon pushed Chris back, just in time to see the other man’s terrified expression.

“Shit, shit, shit..” Chris stood up, frantic, “I’m so sorry.”

Leon was too confused to say anything, and yet, he stood to put some distance between him and the older man.

“I’ll go,” Chris said, not daring to look at him.

“Yeah. Ok.” Leon said, nodding. What the hell just happened? “No, wait. Why did you do that?”

“Just- just forget about it, okay? It’s late and… I’ll go now,” Chris said, making sure he had his belongings in his pockets. He walked towards the door. He seemed so ashamed. He’d never seen Chris like that.

“No, wait!” Leon tried. Too late tho, Chris had left the apartment already.

Now he was there alone again, confused and wondering what had just happened.

* * *

 

One question ran through Chris’ mind since Leon had pushed him away. WHY THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT? Leon was straight for fuck’s sake, he knew that. Why had he been such an asshole? Poor Leon was probably freaking out in his apartment now. He was just opening and telling Chris to count on him, and Chris had just… just… taken advantage of that! That was sexual harassment!

Leon wouldn’t want to see him ever again. What had he done? Chris thought, and he felt his eyes burn. He was on his way home, walking down empty streets for the third time that night.

Could this night end already?


	3. Total Eclipse of the Heart

Chris woke up the following day with a terrible headache. He had gotten home sometime after three and had let himself fall on his bed and fallen asleep with his clothes on. He looked around, trying to figure out why he was awake, finding that the reason was his phone. Why did people call him on the phone on his days off so fucking early?

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” Claire cheered on the other side.

“humpf,” Chris mumbled.

“I heard someone had a date last night? How did it go?” For a second Chris thought Claire was talking about what had happened with Leon and freaked out. “Chrissy?”

“Right!” He suddenly remembered the other date. He had had a real date with a man who was actually interested in him last night, even if it looked like that had happened so long ago. “It was good,” he added.

“You made an impression, from what I heard,” she joked. In the background, he could hear Sean nagging because he hadn’t told her what Nick had confided him just so she could go and call Chris. In spite of his sour mood, Chris smiled. Claire seemed genuinely happy she had found a man for him.

“From now on I’d appreciate if you didn’t call me after a date to congratulate me for getting laid.”

“You got laid?! On the first date?!” She pretty much yelled. Ok, he shouldn’t have said that.

“No…” he tried to fix it. “Are you calling for any specific reason or you just wanted to be noisy?”

“Sean and I are hosting a barbecue in our brand new porch. You are very invited,” she said.

“That’s sudden,” Chris observed.

“Jill got a huge deal on the butcher shop after getting drunk during brunch, and she bought a lot of meat.” She explained. “She doesn’t have a porch or a barbecue so I thought it would be a great time to use ours! I’ll even prepare margaritas for you. And we invited Nick as well.”

Chris wanted to say 'no' so bad. He didn’t feel like partying at all.

“Can you bring potato salad? Please? I haven’t eaten any since the fourth of July, and yours is so fucking good, Chrissy.”

Chris sighed loudly, and he could picture his little sister on the other side of the phone with a winning smile on her face.

“Okay, I’ll try,” Chris said. What if Leon was invited too? He should not go then. Should he ask? Would it be weird? “So, who else is coming?”

“Oh, the usual suspects, Jill, Barry and family, Helena said she’d be late but would come anyway. I have yet to call Leon, but you know he comes to anything with free food because he can’t cook for shit.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Oh, and also Nick. Nick is coming. Sean’s friend Nick. The man you slept with. Nick,” she babbled.

“I hate that I tell you everything,” he lamented.

“Don’t. I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy Chrissy, you deserve to be happy.”

“Do I though?” Chris wondered aloud.

“See how you need a fucking barbecue and get drunk with the people who love you? Maybe you get lucky again! But please don’t fuck in my house. I’ll know,” Chris chuckled. Claire always knew everything, especially how to make him laugh when he was under the weather.

“I’ll be there by one, so you better have a whole jar of margaritas with my name on it.”

“You got it, bro,” She said before saying goodbye.

Everything was going to be okay, right?

 

A couple of hours later, a shower and a lot of cooking later, Chris was ready to leave his apartment with a big bowl of potato salad. He hoped it was enough for Claire. She might just take the whole thing and not share it with anyone. It had happened on the fourth of July so it wouldn’t be a surprise.

Chris still didn’t know if Leon would be there. What if he was? What if he told everybody? It’s not like most people didn't know. Actually, everybody but Leon was aware of it. How come he had never told Leon? They hadn’t been too close till just a couple of weeks ago but still. He should have told him. Maybe then the blonde wouldn’t have wanted to hang out, and that stupid kiss wouldn’t have happened.

The kiss. Chris didn’t want to think about it. But it had been something else, at least for the three seconds it lasted before he felt Leon’s hand on his chest pushing him away.

Doing his best to discard those memories, Chris left his apartment. Around half an hour later he was arriving at Claire’s new house. She had just recently moved in with Sean, and they were now living in a beautiful two-story house in a residential area. Chris saw it as what it was, his younger sister was on her way to settle down. Sean was a great guy, from a wealthy family, and he liked to spoil Claire. The house was probably too big for just the two of them, but that spoke volume of their plans for the future. Besides the porch on the back of the house, it had a large yard, and they were thinking about getting a pool.

That was all Chris could wish for Claire, but deep down he couldn’t help being a bit jealous. He wanted something like that too. He’d be happy with just a man who loved him and a small apartment anywhere though.

Chris parked on the street in front of Claire’s house, right behind Jill’s car. It was a bright day, not too hot for the end of the summer. He took the potato salad and managed to lock the car before walking towards the house. He didn’t have time to knock when Sean opened the door.

“Hey! Welcome!” the doctor greeted, “Let me help you with this,” he said taking the bowl.

“Thanks, man. Is everybody here already?” Chris asked nervously.

“Helena is yet to arrive, but everybody else is outside.”

He followed Sean to the kitchen, where he greeted Claire.

“Don’t say I don’t love you,” Claire said, holding a one-gallon pitcher with Chris’ name on it.

“Oh no you didn’t,” Chris said.

“Where’s my salad?” Claire asked looking at Chris empty hands.

“Here,” Sean said, putting the bowl in the fridge.

“Nick is outside already,” Claire said casually.

“I’ll have some of that now,” Chris said taking the pitcher.

He and Claire bantered as usual, and then they came outside with Sean, who brought more beers. Nick was talking to Jill next to the table, were Kathy and Barry younger daughters were sitting and discussing something on a smartphone screen.

“Finally,” Barry exclaimed when he saw him.

“Waiting for me?”

“I didn’t move back from Canada to have to request an appointment with your secretary, Redfield.”

“How are you doing?” he said as he hugged the older man.

“Not bad. What about you?” Barry asked.

“Ugh, I don’t know,” Chris admitted.

“Need to talk?” Barry offered.

“Maybe later if you have a minute?” Chris appreciated that Barry offered every time. He knew Barry would take the time to listen to him and his problems and try to give him any advice.

“Is it man trouble?”

“Does it show in my face or something?” Chris said with a chuckle.

“It looks like you didn’t sleep much,” Barry admitted looking closer.

“I had a date last night with Nick, but I cut it short…” Chris whispered.

“Work?” Barry asked squinting. Chris nodded. “Got you covered kid.”

Chris smiled. He could always count on Barry. The older man patted his shoulder and let him go so he could say hi to all he other guests. Leon was nowhere to be seen. Was it possible that he hadn’t come at all? Because of him?

“Hey,” Nick said, getting his attention. Awkward. Should he hug him? Shaking his hand would be too weird, and he didn’t really feel like they were in a place where a kiss would be an appropriate greeting. Luckily for him, Nick just smiled and raised his beer as a salute.

“Hey,” he smiled back. Jill was watching the whole exchange with very open eyes.

“Hello, Chris,” she said with a shit-eating grin. She fucking knew. Chris was going to have to talk to Claire.

Jill left them alone with a terrible and obviously false excuse making it all even more awkward.

“You look tired,” Nick said. “Not that you don’t look good, you do. Just tired. Didn’t get much sleep after all?”

“Ah, yeah. You probably know how it is, right? Sleepless nights.”

“You know it. I don’t think I had the chance to say it last night but, I had a great time with you. Maybe we can do it again?”

“I’d love that,” Chris said. Even if he wasn’t feeling it much.

Before they could say anything else, Jill and Claire came out with large plates with all kinds of meat. It was true Jill had bought way too much. They announced that they were to eat it all, so they better be hungry.

With more drinks and some appetizers around, Chris stood with Sean and Nick by the barbecue, helping or just watching Sean’s expertise in action. The man might not be able to cook much, but he knew how to work the grill.

By the time they sat, Chris was happy and drunk enough to enjoy himself surrounded by his friends. He sat between Sean and Barry, in front of Claire. They ate, drank and talked about every topic available. Hours later they were still sitting on the table, all of them but the girls who had left after eating alleging that “they were old and boring.”

“We aren’t old,” Jill complained. It had been hours since that, but she was still offended.

“No, we are not,” Claire agreed.

“Girls, we all lived through the eighties, we are old,” Nick said.

“We are vintage, if something,” Sean sentenced. Claire was now sitting next to him, leaning on him. They both had had one too many beers.

“Don’t bitch about being old, Barry and I were there during the seventies,” Kathy reminded them.

“This guy was a child when we met,” Barry joked patting Chirs on the shoulder again, “And don’t get me started with that one,” he said, pointing at Jill.

“Oh, _you_ don’t get _me_ started,” Jill said defensively.

“I feel like Nick, and I are missing on so much here?” Sean asked.

“These idiots have too many stories, the could talk you to death. That why we don’t have them over for Thanksgiving anymore,” Kathy said.

“That’s not true, you don’t invite us anymore because of the dirty dancing incident,” Claire reminded them.

“Oh, Dirty Dancing incident? Don’t leave us like that, babe,” Sean told Claire.

“Oh my God!” Jill exclaimed, “he doesn’t know?”

“Claire, how could you hide something like that from him!?” Chris joked as well.

“What’s going on now?” Sean turned a bit more serious, looking at Claire, who was blushing but remained silent.

“Do you know that part of the movie… we all have watched that movie right?” Barry asked.

“Barry please, don’t,” Claire begged.

“Oh, no, I need to know now,” Nick said, sitting straight.

“There is this part in the movie, the last time they dance I believe. The girl runs towards the guy, and he lifts her?” Barry explained. “Well, if you get them Redfields drunk enough they can do the whole damn dance, the lift included.”

“Wait, what?” Sean asked, confused.

“Yeah, this guy can actually dance like Patrick fucking Swayze,” Jill laughed.

“That’s so far from the truth,” Chris told Nick who was now giggling.

“We used to go dancing, I loved dancing with you!” Jill said. It was true that during that short time they had dated they did a lot of dirty dancing, but the truth is that they kept doing it even after Chris came out.

“The Thanksgiving incident, though,” Barry interrupted them, “ended with Claire falling in the pool, the turkey burned and Chris with a concussion.”

“How?” Sean asked. Nobody responded for a few seconds before all the witnesses laughed. It was not possible to explain how it all had unfolded like that.

“Can you guys do it? The lift?” Nick asked. Before he or Claire could say “hell no,” Jill was playing the song on her phone.

“No, please, I’m too drunk,” Claire tried.

“Me too, what if she gets hurt? I’m not that young anymore,” Chris said.

“Bullshit, there is a lot of yards to run, so move your asses Redfields. It’s been years since last time.”

Kathy sighed, Barry took his phone out to film it, and Jill made the choruses for the song while Nick and Sean looked. Chris made a show of stretching while Claire warmed up as she walked to the other side of the yard.

“Don’t let me fall, Chrissy,” She yelled from afar.

“Never,” he promised. They waited for the last chorus, and Claire ran to Chris’ arms in the exact moment, just like they had rehearsed so many times when they were younger. Claire leaped just in time for Chris to lift her with the momentum of the jump, being able to raise easily over his head while he made the famous pose. They could hear the cheering while he put her down carefully.

“Can’t believe we just fucking nailed it!” She said turning to the rest, getting more whistles and clapping.

“Holy shit, babe, had no idea you could do that,” Sean was laughing and looked at Claire with so much love. It melted Chris heart a bit.

“That was awesome,” Nick said approaching him. “You think you’ be able to lift me like that too?” the brunette asked with a playful smirk.

“Only one way to figure out, right?” Nick giggled, flirting again.

They talked some more but shortly after they started picking up the remains on the table. It was almost six already, and Sean and Nick had to work the following day, even though it was Sunday, the hospital didn’t care about weekends, they said.

After helping with all the heavy lifting, Kathy and Barry said their goodbyes and left, along with Nick who needed to go home before going to work in a couple of hours. That left Sean and Chris doing dished while Claire and Jill took the trash out. It all felt a bit off to Chris as soon as he was alone with Sean, who had been adamant to get the older Redfield alone.

“So,” Sean started. Chris was rinsing a dish but turned to look at Sean, who was drying.

“Yeah?”

“I need to ask you something? Like… it’s not… I mean,” Sean mumbled.

“Dude, whatever it is-“ Chris started before Sean interrupted him.

“I’m going to propose. To your sister I mean.”

“Oh,” Chris said dumbfounded. “You don’t need my permission or anything like that, you know that, right?” Chris asked. He wasn’t taking any shit like that, Claire was her own person to make her own decisions, nobody needed Chris permission.

“No, yeah, I mean, I know that. I just wanted to let you know. Like blessings and all. But even if you do not agree, I’m proposing,” Sean said, straightening. Chris smiled.

“No offense, but I’d like to see you fight me if I happened to oppose. Which I don’t. Thanks for the heads up, not needed but thanks anyway.”

“Cool. So we cool. Cool,” Sean said to himself, frantically drying the plate in his hands. Chris chuckled and patted his brother-in-law-to-be on the shoulder.

“We’re back,” Claire announced. Just in time, Chris thought, and by the looks of it, Sean was relieved too. He looked at Chris, and they both laughed nervously. They could have been caught.

“What are you up to?” Jill asked, suspicious. Both men shrugged, and the women called them out and then joined them with the remaining dishes.

It was getting late, so he and Jill were discussing leaving, but they were both too drunk and didn’t want to leave their cars there, so the obvious solution was, of course, to spend the night there. It was not going to be a problem, Claire had said, they had three guest rooms at the moment.

They had dinner and bitched about possible movies to watch after, but as soon as they moved to the living room, Jill was snoring, so Chris carried her upstairs to the room where she was sleeping.

Instead of going back downstairs, he turned in for the night too. As soon as he was finally alone, he realized he hadn’t thought of Leon for hours, but now his mind was going through that kiss again.

Suddenly, as if he had sensed it, Barry texted Chris.

“Hey, I forgot you wanted to talk.”

Chris thought about it for a few moments. He could just ignore it and tell Barry he had been sleeping already, or he might say it was nothing. But he knew that talking to Barry would relieve some of the weight he felt on his chest.

“So I have a situation,” Chris texted. Immediately, Barry texted back.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I am sort of seeing Nick, but there is someone else,” he wrote. He elaborated immediately realizing the text was a bit ambiguous. “Not like I’m seeing someone else, but I have this stupid crush, and I can’t shake it off.”

“Well, shit,” Barry responded a few seconds after. “This other guy, might he be interested?”

“He’s straight. I already confirmed he’s not interested.”

“How come?” How could he tell Barry what he had done? It took too long for Chris to respond, making Barry ask again, “Chris?”

“I kissed him, on a wimp. I shouldn’t have. He pushed me away. I fucked up. He just needed a friend, and I fucked up and took advantage of his vulnerability.” Chris was getting all worked up again, just like he had felt last night right after leaving Leon’s house. Barry didn’t text back, nor he was writing. Chris' heart tighten, and then he saw Barry’s name on the screen, he was calling.

“Hey,” Chris said.

“Kid, don’t be so hard on you. I know you, and you probably are calling yourself a monster. You are not, okay?” Chris nodded as if Barry could see him.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you should just focus on this Nick guy. He’s nice and funny, and he wouldn’t stop looking at you with heart eyes,” Barry joked, making Chris laugh.

“I know, I really want to do that, but I can’t just shake Le- this other guy off my mind.”

“Fuck,” Barry sighed. “Le? As in Leon?” Chris was a fucking idiot. “Kennedy? He’s straight as a fucking arrow, kid.”

“I’m aware, thanks,” Chris said dryly.

“And you fucking kissed him?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m a fucking moron.”

“I didn’t say that. I’m sure you felt it like the moment was right. Sometimes it’s just not.”

Barry was using his soothing dad voice now. Chris kept nodding while the older man talked, telling him that it was fine and that it all would be okay. After a few more minutes, he said good night to Barry.

He had to admit that he felt a bit lighter after telling someone. That night he slept a lot better than the previous one, but still woke up with Leon on his mind the following morning.

* * *

His day had been full of confusion since the moment he got up in the morning. Leon hadn't got a wink of sleep, and nothing could ease his mind. It was still caught up on Chris kissing him.

He had gotten a text from Claire, inviting him to a BBQ while he was at the grocery store. The brunette contemplated it, he really did. But a part of him was still awkward about last night. He didn't want to make it awkward with Chris.

He was currently at home, suddenly not hungry for the food he picked up at the store. He sat on the couch, the television playing some show he wasn't watching. Munchkin sat next to him, purring away as he slept. Leon stared down at his phone on the side table, fingers drumming away as he contemplated texting Chris... or perhaps waiting for the elder to text him.

"What do you think I should do?" Leon asked, turning to Munchkin.

The cat just continued to sleep.

The agent sighed at the tiny feline. Biting his lip as well as the bullet, Leon decided to text Chris, asking if they could meet up at the tavern down the street from his apartment.

Leon stared at the screen and waited. And waited, but Chris never texted back. Had Chris been too afraid? Was he avoiding him? Not knowing what else to do, he texted Helena, asking if they could talk. He huffed when she texted him "No" because she, Hunnigan, and a couple of other women from work were having a Girls' Night and no boys were allowed.

"Guess it's just you and I tonight, buddy," Leon said to the feline, who got up and stretched. The little gray cat jumped off of the couch, heading into the bedroom to sleep in the quiet room.

"Guess it's just me then..." Leon sighed sadly.

Leon sulked as he went into the kitchen to heat up the food, grabbing a bottle of beer while he was at it. Why did Chris kiss him? And why did Leon kind of like it? He wasn't into men...like at all, but the kiss...it felt short and sweet. Did Chris have a thing for him? Is that why he kissed him?

What if the only reason they hung out was because Chris... no. No! Leon shook his head. Chris was too much of a nice guy to think that way. If anything that would be something he himself would do. God, why was this so confusing. The brunette checked his phone again. He was momentarily excited when he saw C. Redfield, but it took him a moment to realize it wasn't the Redfield he wanted texting him.

"Missed you today. Where were you, party pooper?" Claire had texted.

Leon sighed, "Sorry, stomach ache."

"You missed a great day, and so did Helena! she bailed on us!" Claire complained.

"Yeah, sorry. Haven't been feeling the greatest. Hey, was your bro there?" Leon found himself asking.

"Yeah, of course he was. You missed the potato salad. He drank all the margaritas Lol.”

"Oh...damn. Guess there's always next time. He drank ALL of them???" Leon asked, to make conversation mostly.

"A whole fucking gallon I made. I was joking, but he drank all of it. He was drunk enough to do the dirty dancing thing."

"Lmao, what?" Leon texted, but he wasn't laughing. He was kind of upset. Maybe he should have gone.

“Old Redfield stories…”

"So... did he happen to say anything about last night? I heard he had a date." Leon asked, testing the waters.

“Oh, actually Nick was there too! Did he tell you about it?” Claire wrote back, probably thinking nothing of it.

Nick? "Uh, no. He didn't. Who's Nick?." Leon asked.

“Sean’s friend? They work together in the hospital. Long story short, the date went very well, if you know what I mean, lol.”

Leon stared at the screen in shock, phone nearly dropping out of his hands. Was Chris gay? Like into men, gay? Well, that was...the brunette immediately felt like shit. He had dragged the older man away from his date, led him on, and then pushed him away when he kissed him, thus hurting his feelings.

"Well, that's...wow. Good for him."

“Yeah, it was about time. I was starting to worry he’d die alone. He just wants some love.”

Leon didn’t know what to respond.

“Gotta go, Sean and I are watching a movie! Text me tomorrow, maybe you can come over for brunch or something,” she said.

“I will. Talk to you tomorrow,” Leon said as a goodbye.

Leon sat looking at his dark screen for a minute or two like he was expecting to make sense of all this by doing that. What was going to happen now with him and Chris? Would they still be able to be friends? Leon shook his head. Maybe Chris was a little drunk last night? He did taste like wine. Chris had a boyfriend, so maybe they were cool. Yeah, no, they could still be friends. Or so he hoped.


	4. You are my best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically this one is not an 80's song. So what. Sue me.

Chris woke up with a splitting headache. Yeah, he definitely wasn’t that young anymore. He laid in bed awake for a little while, trying to regain his strength to overcome the headache. After a few minutes later, he was able to sit on the bed. He stretched and then took his phone from under the pillow to check if someone was missing him.

He froze. There was a message from Leon. From the day before. How hadn’t he seen it?! He looked at the notification for a few seconds, fear running through his body. What if Leon asked him to never contact him again? He was one of Claire’s best friends. He took a deep breath and opened the message.

“Can we meet and talk about what happened the other night? I’m free so let me know,” the message read. Chris wasn't sure how to take it. What did they need to talk about? Chris had crossed a line, and now whatever kind of relationship they could have had was lost. Still, he owed Leon that much. He texted back, “Maybe Monday? Sorry for the delayed response.”

He didn’t expect to hear back from the blonde for a while, but almost as soon as he sent the message, Leon responded with a place and a time. Chris heartbeat speeded up. What was he going to tell Leon besides he was sorry?

Chris stood up, feeling like his head was about to explode now. He redressed in the same clothes he had worn the day before, decided to go back home, have a shower and crawl back in bed, he was too old to day drink for a whole day.

As he made his way downstairs, he could hear voices in the kitchen and smell breakfast in the air.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Claire said. She was wearing the super ugly pajamas he had bought her last Christmas. Chris hoped she was only wearing it because he was home because the thing was truly hideous and it had been revenge for the “wolf” underwear she had bought him first.

“How could you do that to your own sister?” hungover Jill asked.

“She knows the reason,” Chris said as he sat next to Jill in the breakfast bar.

“I for one love those PJs,” Sean said. He was cooking bacon while Claire served the coffees.

“I love it too,” Claire said looking at it. “It always reminds me of you.”

“I’m not going to fall for that. I don’t use the fucking wolf thing.”

“I have them too and, to be honest, Claire, I love you, but they are fucking awful,” Sean confessed.

“Thank you!” Chris exclaimed. Jill and Claire chuckled, and they all sat as soon as Sean brought a plate with bacon. Besides that, they had coffee, some fruit, and toast.

Chris had had every intention of going straight home, but he wasn’t saying no to a homey breakfast. It’s not that he didn’t see Claire often, but he wouldn’t mind spending more time with her. The same applied to Jill. She had been that friend to talk him into going out for beer and dragging him to gay clubs. Lucky for him, he got to see her at work most days, even if they had to pretend to be super serious when talking to each other. They had this ongoing joke where they’d call each other Captain every few words, making new recruits nervous.

Once they ate most of the bacon and fought for the last bit, Jill and Chris said their goodbyes and left the house to get their cars and go home. Jill couldn't help herself and said “they gonna fuck now” as soon as they were out making Chris groan loudly.

In spite of it, Chris hugged her before climbing on his car. He was feeling a lot better after breakfast, but he was still going home and taking a shower and a nap. It wasn’t the physical fatigue so much as the emotional instability that had him drained.

Hours later he woke up startled. His apartment was perfectly quiet. It must have been a bad dream then, Chris thought. It was some time after noon on Sunday, he checked on his phone.

There were a few messages. One for Claire thanking him for coming and promising a repeat, another from Barry to check on him, and one from Nick. Nothing else from Leon so far.

He responded to them in that same order, taking some more time with Nick’s, the brunette responded almost immediately and started the flirting game once again. Chris was not really in the mood but kept returning the other man’s texts anyway.

He took his phone to the kitchen and looked through the cabinets and on the fridge. There must be something easy he could cook for lunch. He felt like his phone on the counter was staring at him, reminding him that he hadn’t responded to Leon’s text. He couldn’t.

Chris decided to prepare some rice with chicken and spices. He was feeling a lot better but didn’t want to make a mess in the kitchen. He ate his lunch and prepared a lunchbox with the leftovers for the following day. Then he just watched tv for a while before taking care of some things for the next morning for work. He still had to iron a few shirts, do some laundry and take care of the apartment in general.

He managed to ignore his phone for the rest of the day and even managed to get some sleep in spite of his neighbors. First, she was mad because he was flirting with some other girl, then she was just asking him to fuck her harder. Against the wall. The same wall they shared with Chris bedroom.

Not that he cared too much, and it wasn’t just the noise, also the fact that he was there laying alone and sexless while they made sure the whole building knew they were getting laid. Maybe Chris should bring it up to the next building meeting. And also the pet policy, he had been thinking about getting a pet. Perhaps he’d feel a bit less lonely.

Monday was the same as any other day mostly. He kept thinking about the text. Would Leon go and wait for him? And if he didn’t show up? He was a fucking coward. He tried to be productive at work, shared his lunch with Jill while the bitched about the new recruits. Jill keep saying that the boys were useless while these new girls were badass. Chris didn’t know what she was talking about but agreed with her.

He waited to almost the same time Leon had asked to meet him to text the blonde and use some lame excuse about work coming up. He couldn’t help the guilt and proposed to reschedule to Saturday, even tho he didn’t want to meet in the first place.

Leon responded almost immediately again, asking to meet sooner, but Chris lied again, saying he wouldn’t be able until Saturday. Leon then replied with a dry “ok” and didn’t text him back until Friday.

Chris had focused on work and had spent more hours than usual in the gym, the less time he spent alone in his apartment, the better. He even met Nick several times that week for lunch or a coffee. On Friday night, Leon texted him again.

“You sure you can’t meet tonight?” the text read. This time Chris had to say no because he actually had plans. Sean had called him earlier to invite him and Nick to join him and Claire for dinner downtown.

“Can’t, have plans already,” Chris wrote back.

“When will you be done?” Chris read the text twice. What the fuck was up with Leon?

“I don’t know, I might come back home late or not at all tonight,” He said, hoping it would be enough to make Leon give up. He thought he had succeeded when the blonde didn’t come back after that message.

Chris sighed, leaving the phone on the kitchen island and went to get ready for his double date. He couldn’t believe he was having a double date, to begin with. He couldn’t say no to Claire, and he had to admit he wouldn't mind having Nick woo him some more, especially now he was feeling low because of all the mess with Leon.

Chris hated feeling this way, helpless and pathetic and hated, even more, feeling like he was using Nick to fill the void Leon’s rejection had left. He wouldn’t deny Nick was attractive, and he liked to think that in different circumstances, he’d be head over hills over the brunette.

Chris put all his effort into looking as good as he could. Picking his outfit carefully, grooming and even using some of that cologne Jill had told him that “smelled sexy,” even when Chris had said that “sexy” wasn’t a smell.

He looked great, too bad he didn’t feel the same way.

* * *

 

Leon had been drinking in that bar for god knows how long. Pretty much since Chris’ last text. What did he mean when he said he might not go home at all? He was probably meeting that Nick guy. 

He had been watching his phone sitting on the bar, waiting for it to ring or something. Was Chris avoiding him? It totally looked like it, because the man had canceled several times already and kept finding excuses not to see him. It was Leon the one who should be avoiding Chris, Leon thought, trying to rationalize the situation. Chris had made a move in him, an unwanted one. Was that fair though? Leon had been clinging to him and probably asking for too much. Hell, he invited Chris to his place in the middle of the night and opened the door in underwear.

He hadn’t known about Chris sexual orientation, but then again, was Chris to blame for that one? Had Leon been such a bad friend that Chris was not comfortable telling him? Or it was something simpler, like, Leon was so full of himself he never allowed Chris to be the one bitching and sharing problems? He didn’t remember asking Chris any questions or showing any particular interest in the elder’s life beyond asking about that date.

So Chris was having dates now too. It looked like recently all his friends were dating or even settling down. Claire had been dating Sean for a while now, and they even bought a house together, Helena had been dating some mysterious person and hadn’t have gone out with Leon for a while. The same applied to Hunnigan, basically because she was the mysterious person Helena was seeing, Leon had found out.

Even Ada Wong had made sure to let him know she wasn’t interested anymore. She had just sent one of those crappy messages. This time seemed to be the last one. She explained she was cutting ties with her old life and that included Leon. He had been surprised at the lack of emotion he felt when he got the message. Just a while ago he was trying to find her, but now, he just felt nothing. It was for the best anyway.

I ordered another drink, gesturing with his hand, but the barman shook his head, walking towards him.

“I think you had more than enough for today. You are not driving, right?” the man asked.

“Nah, I’ll walk home.”

Leon stood with some difficulty and paid for his drinks. Only then he realized how many had they been. Struggling to walk straight, Leon left the bar and started walking. His mind was in a stupor but at the same time racing with all those confusing thoughts. All his friends settling down, Chris kissed him but was now dating some guy, Ada was gone for good.

He walked and walked and suddenly found himself in front of Chris’ place. Why was he here? Chris might not even be home. He looked up, counting the stories till he reached Chris’ to see if the lights were on. As if it was a sign, as soon as he recognized the apartment, the lights went on.

He ran towards the entrance, only to walk into one of the glass doors. They were either to clean, or Leon was too drunk. Once he made it to the building, he got into the elevator. He needed to mentally rehearse what he was going to say. He needed to tell Chris he was a good friend. Suddenly, when the doors opened in Chris’ floor, it occurred to Leon that Chris might have not come back home alone.

What if he had another dude in there? What if he was about to fuck another sexy night for Chris. What would Chris thinks if he- before he could finish that thought he had knocked on the door. He was so drunk his mind was too slow for the rest of him. He could hear noises and steps inside, it looked like just one person moving inside the apartment. The footsteps approached the door, and it opened.

“Leon?” Chris asked, evidently confused. Leon took a deep breath, looking for the right words. He needed to ask questions and explain things, yet he was only able to say one stupid sentence.

“Don’t break up with me.”

* * *

 

Chris was stunned. Shocked even. What was Leon doing showing up in his place in the middle of the night, drunk and saying something like that? Chris tried to get his composure back, he’d had to talk Leon into leaving and maybe get him a cab back home since the blonde was not in a state to be left to his own devices.

“Okay, Leon. You need to go home. It’s late and-“

“You don’t understand!” Leon exclaimed. “You are my best friend, and I can’t lose you too. Not you, okay? All the people around me is just moving on with their lives. And you are too but please, don’t leave me behind?” Leon pleaded.

Chris didn’t understand what the hell was going on, but Leon was so pitiful right then, drunk and shiny-eyed standing on his doorstep. Something shifted within him, and against his better judgment, he invited Leon in. The blonde took a step forward, Chris assumed to let him close the door, but instead, Leon threw himself at Chris, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you,” Leon said.

Chris could feel Leon’s heartbeat in his own chest. They were so close.

“I don’t think you should…” Chris pushed Leon back, looking him in the eye. “Aren’t you mad at me? For taking advantage of you?” Leon squinted like he didn’t understand.

“I’m not mad. We’re gonna be okay. Right?” He asked. Leon was here seeking reassurance that he still had a friend and Chris didn’t have it in him to deny that to the blonde. Even with Nick on the picture, Chris still had all those strong, confusing feelings for Leon.

“Right. Now you should sleep it off. You are going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

Chris prepared the couch for Leon without another word while the blonde stood there awkwardly following Chris with his eyes. Once Chris was done, he said good night to Leon and went to his room.

This was awkward and weird, and Chris didn’t know what the fuck was going on. He had just come back from the double date, and just minutes after he got home, Leon knocked on his door. Had he been waiting or something? Chris started changing to his PJs, no way he was sleeping naked with Leon in the living room.

Thank god he had rejected Nick’s offer to spend the night together. He had basically rejected sex to come home alone and dwell on whatever feelings he had, and lucky him, Leon had just shown up drunk. Once he was ready for bed, Chris turned the lights off and got in bed. He laid awake for several minutes until he heard movement in the other room. He sat in his bed in the dark, trying to figure out what was Leon doing.

Suddenly his door opened, and Leon entered his room, stumbling and tripping on everything on his way to the bed. He reached the other side of the bed, the one Chirs usually vacated, unless he wasn’t alone, and climbed on the bed. Chris said nothing, just observing and about to freak out. Why the fuck was Leon getting in bed with him?

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t like the couch,” Leon mumbled getting comfortable and pulling on the blanket. Chris sighed. He’d sleep on the couch then, he thought. He was about to leave his comfortable and beloved bed when Leon’s hand on his stopped him dead on his tracks. “No, stay, please?”

The blonde wasn’t even looking at him. He must be really drunk to get in bed with Chris after what happened last time. Chris took a deep breath and settle down again. The next morning was going to be so fucking awkward. Leon would be hungover and probably grumpy. What if he woke up in Chris bed and didn’t remember how he got there in the first place? Chris had to make sure he left the bed before Leon woke up.

Trying to sleep was completely useless. Chris was not going to get any sleep with Leon next to him in his bed. And not because that cute little noise Leon made, it was like a very cute snore.

He had imagined Leon in his bed, so many times and those fantasies didn’t look at all like the reality. Chris sighed, getting more and more desperate. Leon was asleep now, so he probably could sneak out of the room and sleep in the couch. Chris sat on his bed, slowly. He moved carefully to remain as quiet as possible. When he got out of bed, before leaving the room, he took a moment to look at Leon sleeping in his bed, so fucking sure he’d never see the blonde there ever again. Leon was so peaceful and so pretty. He seemed calm and younger in his sleep. Chris would give anything to be able to just go back to bed and hold him in his arms.

Chris fought himself so he wouldn’t stay looking at Leon the rest of the night and went to sleep on the couch. It wasn’t too uncomfortable, but he still didn’t get much sleep that night.

* * *

 

Leon rolled on the bed, suddenly waking up and feeling sick. It felt like he had a percussion quartet in his head and it even hurt to open his eyes, but he did anyway. As soon as he looked around, he found himself in his underwear and t-shirt in the center of a big and really comfortable bed. Being right in the middle of the bed, it didn’t look like he had been sharing it with someone else, but still, where the hell was he?

He stood, holding his head immediately and fighting nausea and walked towards the door. As soon as he opened it, he realized where he was. It was Chris’ place. Then it hit him. He had just woken up on Chris bed. Did that mean…?

“Hey,” Chris' voice called. Leon looked around for the older man, and finally, he found him on the couch. He hadn’t seen him at first because Chris was laying on it.

“Hey,” so Chris had slept here. And Leon had taken his bed. That was a lot more like it. “What…?” Leon asked. He didn’t remember much.

“I guess you don’t remember much, do you?” The older man asked with a sympathetic smile. He stood up and stretched. “You showed up here last night, very drunk, I must say.”

“What? Why?” He knew he was upset because Chris had been avoiding him so maybe he did something really stupid after he got wasted?

“You were feeling lonely I guess. I haven’t been the best friend this week…” Chris admitted. He wouldn’t look Leon in the eye. “Or last week. I shouldn’t have… done what I did. You needed a friend and I… I’m sorry about that.”

“Right. I just… we can just forget about it, right? Pretend it never happened? You are like my best friend now, you know?” Leon said. He might have been still a little drunk.

“Of course,” Chris smile, finally lifting his eyes from the floor. He smiled at him, but Leon felt as if Chris’ smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Okay so, I heard about this Nick guy you’re seeing,” Leon started. Chris chuckled, shaking his head as he made his way to the kitchen. “I want to apologize too, you know?” Leon turned serious. He had to say this before starting with the gossip.

“There’s nothing you need to apologize for, Leon.” Chris was taking mugs and preparing coffee. Leon wouldn’t mind some food to go with it, but he needed to say this first.

“I feel like… maybe I haven’t been a good friend to you,” he started, Chris went to interrupt him, probably to say it wasn’t true, but Leon raised a hand, silently asking Chris to let him finish, “listen, please. If I didn’t make you feel comfortable enough or if I did something to make you think you couldn’t tell me you like, well, dudes, I’m sorry. I’m totally okay with that. And I’m fucking glad you found someone, you are an awesome guy and deserve everything, okay?”

He knew he had blushed, and so had Chris. The elder just nodded, making himself busy with the coffees. Leon hoped this was enough to keep Chris as his friend. He knew that the captain has gotten under his skin and was by far the best friend he’d ever had. Just someone who would be there for him, no matter what and after just a few of weeks. The elder just placed a mug of smoking coffee on the kitchen island for him and resumed whatever he was doing in the kitchen. Was he doing breakfast? For Leon too? God, he hoped so.

“So, Nick, huh? Is that the mysterious friend of Claire’s?” Leon asked after clearing his throat. He needed this to stop being weird.

“Yeah. He’s Sean’s friend, they work together,” Chris explained. He cracked an egg. Two eggs. Was that omelet? Would Leon have some too? The shock and the fear made him sober up quickly, but he still felt mostly like shit.

“Do you have some ibuprofen?”

“Fuck, yeah, sorry.”

Chris left the eggs to go get him some painkillers, and Leon almost wished he hadn’t. There were many ingredients there with the eggs, so whatever it was Chris was preparing was going to be delicious. How come he was so hungry? Leon remembered then he hadn’t had dinner the night before, he just went to a bar and drank himself stupid.

“Here,” Chris said coming back from his room. He brought him a couple of pills and then gave him some water. “You don’t need to pretend or ask about… whoever I’m seeing, it’s okay if you don’t want to hear it.”

“Chris, you had to put up with my shit, I’m putting up with yours. If you want to talk about this guy, fucking do it. And if you think it’s serious, I’d like to meet him.” Leon added.

“Really?” Chris asked, insure. He was whisking the eggs in a bowl. Why was it taking so long? He wanted that damn omelet already.

“Really.”

Chris nodded once more and resumed his task. As soon as he poured the contents of the bowl into the pan, the kitchen was invaded with delicious smells. Spices and veggies being cooked. And bacon? When did Chris get the bacon from the fridge?

“You look like a dog,” Chris laughed.

“What?” Leon asked confused.

“You are just sniffing around my kitchen.”

“Dude, it smells so good. Whatever you are cooking. And I’m so hungry.”

“Well, I hope so, this omelet is not eating itself. How’s the coffee?” Chris asked. To be honest, Leon hadn’t touched it, yet. So he drank then.

“What the hell is this?” He asked, licking his lips. The coffee tasted fresh and had a light sweet touch. It was delicious.

“Coffee. Italian coffee actually. It’s a bit more expensive than the other brands of capsules, but I like it.

“It’s delicious,” Leon said before drinking half of the mug. He needed to meet Chris for breakfast more often.

Before Leon asked again, Chris volunteered some more information about this guy he was seeing. Leon felt a bit awkward about it. Like it bothered him for some reason, but he knew he was an openminded person and had nothing agains Chris dating guys. And yet, there was something off when he heard Chris talk about him.

“So yeah, I think he’s a bit…”

“Enthusiastic?” Leon offered.

“Yeah,” Chris agreed, “Or at least more than I am about it. He’s a great guy, but… I guess I just need to take things a bit slower.”

“Well, that’s not what I heard,” Leon teased.

“What?!”

“Claire might have said more than she intended, but in her defense, I’m pretty sure she was drunk.”

“She told you?!” Chris seemed more mortified than mad. “I need to stop telling her all my fucking things.”

“You can tell me instead? I promise I won’t tell.” That made Chris laugh. It was nice when he laughed. He looked younger and not like the tortured soul he was the rest of the time.

“Well, here you go. I hope you like it,” Chris said putting a plate in front of him with a flourish. The whole thing looked like one of those Instagram pictures people take at their food. It was colorful and beautiful. Leon almost felt bad for having to mess with it to eat it, but he was so hungry. He started eating and moaning.

“This is so good, Chris. So.Fucking.Good.” Chris smiled, a real smile this time, while he prepared his own breakfast and finished the bacon, that he offered to Leon as soon as it was done.

Leon ate while asking Chris some more questions. He wanted to know more about the captain, maybe a bit of his romantic history and what kind of things he looked for in a man.

“Not much,” Chris shrugged. “I just want someone who loves me back and wants to spend time with me,” he said. He was done cooking, and now they were both sitting on the breakfast bar. Leon was eating all the bacon, casually. He knew Chris had realized and had said nothing, so he kept taking slices.

“Dude, that’s probably really easy to accomplish. What kind of guy wouldn't want to love you and hang out with you?” Chris shrugged again.

“It’s not that easy. Most guys I’ve met are not really interested in me in that way, you know?”

“What way? What do they want from you then?” what other things may a man want out of Chris? This gay thing was really confusing for Leon.

“They usually want a quicky and to be done with it,” Chris looked at him, probably Leon’s expression was a weird one because Chris chuckled. “Come on, it’s not like straight people don’t do that too.”

“No, absolutely, you are right, but... You are like, boyfriend material, right? I just don’t get it.”

“Thanks for saying that. You done?” Chris asked standing and picking up his plate and mug.

“Yeah, but let me,” Leon took the dishes from Chris and walked to the sink. “You cooked.”

He started cleaning while Chris put the remains of the ingredients he used away. This whole scene felt so normal and so right. Like they had done this a thousand times and were used to work and move around each other.

When they were done, Chris offered Leon to take a shower before going home, but Leon preferred to take the shower home so he could put on clothes that didn’t reek of alcohol. What the hell had he drunk last night? Everything?

Leon left but made Chris promise they’d hung out the next week again, and also started planing something next Friday's game. It wasn’t a big game, but they both wanted to watch it, and it was an excellent excuse to have Chris invite Nick over so he and Leon could meet.

On his way back home, he finally felt like everything was back in place after that terrible week. He wasn’t sure what it meant that he had missed Chris so much or that he had been so upset for the sudden disconnection between them, but now they were back on track, he felt lighter and even happier. He had his friend back and could count on him. Now he just needed to make sure Chris felt the same way, that he could rely on Leon.


	5. Please, please, please, let me get what I want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorreeh for the delays, I'm lazy and always tired.  
> There might be typos so sorry about that too.  
> Thanks Sparks for checking the whole thing with me.

Things went back to normal immediately. Or to what had been normal before the kiss. The only difference was that Leon knew now. He would ask about Nick or other previous stories whenever the topic came up, but everything else remained the same.

On the one hand, Chris was glad to see that Leon’s attitude hadn’t changed at all after knowing he was gay. On the other hand, he was basically in some sort of friend zone. They texted a lot during the week and even managed to meet for lunch one day, Leon insisted, to make up for showing up drunk and for breakfast.

Then Friday came. Chris was actually nervous, Nick was coming over to watch the game, and so was Leon. So the guy he liked and the one that liked him were going to be in the same room. He was in the store, he had to buy most of the food, and his guests would be arriving in less than two hours. While he was figuring out what kind of salsa would go better with the rest of the ingredients, he got a call.

“Hey there,” Chris greeted with a smile on his face as soon as he saw the name on the screen.

“Hey,” Leon responded, “You need me to bring something? I just got off work, and I can stop by the store on my way to your place.”

“I got it covered,” Chris told him, picking the mild spicy salsa.

“I think I’ll be early though, that’s okay? I might help you with the food?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll need some help, I’m at the grocery store right now so yeah, I can use some help.”

“Okay then. I’ll see you in a bit,” Leon said before hanging up. Chris put his phone back in his pocket, still feeling butterflies in his stomach. He knew he had to stop this, but he didn’t want to.

He hurried with his shopping so he could go home and start preparing food. That Leon was going to be joining him was just not the main reason for him to hurry, Chris told himself.

He walked home with several paper bags, trying to hold them all as he walked. Lucky for him as he was getting closer to his building, he ran into Leon who was already on his way.

“Need a hand?”

“A couple actually,” He said, letting Leon take two bags.

“Woah, how much did you buy? Are you throwing a party? I thought it was going to be just us and Nick.”

“I bought other things I needed as well,” Chris told him. He made a mental note to get the condoms and lube from the bags, so Leon didn’t have to see those. One thing was talking about it, and another very different was having the evidence right there.

Chris had only bought supplies because Nick had insinuated he’d like to spend the night at Chris’ after the game. He wasn’t too sure about it, but maybe it was not a bad idea to spend more time alone with Nick.

When they got to the apartment, they left the bags on the kitchen island and Leon went to turn the tv on, but instead of picking something, he turned in the stereo system Chris had installed in the living room. Chris looked at the blonde’s movements as he unloaded the bags.

“Do you have any music that is not from the 80’s?” Leon asked.

“Why would I?” Chris asked, like Leon’s question was offensive, making him chuckle and shrug while he picked one of the playlists.

“Okay, where do we start?” Leon asked, rolling up his sleeves.

“Just help me get all the food outside the bags,” Chris said looking for the right pan for the chicken.

“On it, boss,” Leon joked. As soon as the music started, Chris started singing, to himself, but still, he couldn't help it. He was turning on the fire and adding some oil to the pan when he heard Leon humming too.

“So you do like 80’s music?” Chris said, accusing the blonde.

“I just happen to know this one,” Leon defended himself. Chris chuckled and turned again to start adding ingredients to the pan. “I mean, I know some classic rock, and some of those cheesy ballads you like too.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Chris said, still focused on chopping the chicken. Chris loved when Leon came to his place, and they just cooked or watched a movie with takeout.

“I guess these go somewhere else?” Leon asked. Chris turned to see Leon holding his sexy times supplies. Chris blushed and couldn’t help a laugh. Leon’s face was completely emotionless, but he knew the blonde was fighting a smile.

“Yeah, those are not for dinner. You can leave them in my room.”

“Are they dessert then?” Leon asked teasing on his way to the older man’s room. “Feeling lucky?”

“I guess.”

“Okay, what do you need me to do now?”

It turned out that they made a great team in the kitchen. Chris didn’t have this much fun cooking since last Christmas when he cooked with Claire and Jill, and they accidentally drank too much eggnog.

Leon was trying to throw popcorn and have Chris catch them with his mouth, while the captain got the queso ready when the doorbell rang. Chris looked at the time on his phone. Time had flown! It was already time for the game, and he and Leon were still only halfway through with the preparations.

“I’ll take it,” Leon said.

He followed Leon with his eyes and watched as he opened the door. Nick seemed surprised for a second when he saw it was Leon who got the door, but recovered immediately and introduced himself with a smile. He brought wine.

“Hey there,” the brunette said making his way to Chris. Before Chris could reply, Nick planted a kiss on his lips. Chris couldn’t do anything but kiss the man back. It was awkward, but he guessed it made sense, they were kind of dating after all. “Where can I lave the wine?”

“You can put it in the fridge for a bit if you want,” Chris offered. His eyes sought Leon for a second, and he saw a weird expression on the younger man’s face for a second, before he realized Chris was looking at him.

“Should we change the channel?” Nick asked. The game was about to start, so if they didn’t want to miss it, they probably should. Leon stopped the music and gave the remote to Nick.

“How can I help?” Leon offered, going to Chris side in the kitchen.

“I’m almost done,” Chris told him. “Why don’t you take those bowls to the table and sit? I’ll join you when I get this done,” he said pointing at the chicken enchiladas he was about to put in the oven.

* * *

 

Leon nodded, although he didn’t want to be left alone with Nick. He hadn’t like the way the other man had just entered Chris’ apartment and kissed his friend. It was not that the kiss had bothered him, Leon was fine with Chris’ being gay and having a boyfriend. But for some reason, it had bothered him seeing it.

Leon took the bowls with nachos and popcorn and set them on the coffee table in front of the couch and sat. Nick followed suit.

“So, for what I heard, you are Claire’s friend?” Nick started.

“Yeah. I met Claire first, but now I’m closer to Chris,” Leon explained. He was not going to let Nick make his friendship look like a minor thing. It wasn’t.

“I’m glad he has a friend like you, I know he had been lonely before we started dating,” Nick said casually. Too casually.

“Yeah,” Leon pretended to agree, “we just came into each other’s lives in the right moment,” Leon said with a smile. Nick smiled back. He knew immediately he was not going to like this guy at all.

“Okay guys,” Chris said, coming just in time. He was about to sit next to Leon, but Nick moved to offer Chris a spot next to him instead. Chris, always too nice for his own good, sat in the middle, “What were we talking about?”

They pretended that that small exchanged hadn’t happened and went with the flow and just watched the game and ate. Leon tried to ignore how Nick was groping his best friend. He wouldn’t lift his hand from Chris’ knee and would try to feed him and kiss him like Leon wasn’t there.

He was pretty sure Nick was trying to let him know he was getting in the way of whatever night activities he had in mind, but Leon wouldn’t be kicked out with silly hints and some stupid comments about the last time they fucked. It was making his friend obviously uncomfortable, but to Leon’s surprise, when the game was over, Nick excused himself to go to the bathroom.

“So?” Chris asked in a low voice.

“So what? The game was terrible, our team lost, and I owe Helena fifty bucks now,” Leon responded, making the older man chuckle.

“Dude, you need to stop these bets, you never win. And I mean, what do you think of Nick,” he asked shyly. It bothered Leon for some reason that Chris asked him about it.

“Well, he’s your boyfriend, so if you like him, me too.”

Chris nodded, taking in those words like he was looking for a code or a secret meaning.

“So, it’s getting late, right?” Wait, Leon thought. Was Chris kicking him out?

“Oh, right. So Nick is staying, I assume?” Leon said with the fakest smile. Like he was glad his friend was getting laid. He couldn't shake off whatever it was he was feeling.

“That’s the plan,” Chris said, blushing lightly. “But we can get brunch tomorrow in that place you like where they serve raspberry mimosas.”

“Deal,” Leon accepted, still with a mask hiding how he was really feeling.

The sole idea of Chris and Nick alone made him angry. Almost sick, but he wasn’t going to ruin his friend’s night, so he stood and said a quick goodbye, almost ignoring Nick who was joining them back right then.

Leon felt both guilty and angry. He felt terrible Chris thought he had to do something in return for asking Leon to leave so he could get laid, but then again, the fact that Chris was putting Nick first made Leon mad.

Why was he so mad though? He knew now Chris was gay. The whole evening was supposed to be about he meeting the guy Chris was seeing, but it had turned into a really uncomfortable attempt to watch the game. The food was excellent though. Nick being handsy with Chris and Chris allowing it, right in front of Leon? Not so much.

Was he a homophobe? Was that the reason behind all this? He didn’t consider himself a bigot, and never before had felt this way towards anybody’s relationship, but the fact that Chris was now dating another man definitely bothered him.

He was leaving the building and looked up to the sky. The nights were getting colder, and by the looks of it, it might rain later. Leon sighed and started walking in his apartment’s direction. He was scared he was going to lose his friend again, this time to Nick. What if Nick wanted Chris attention all the time now?

* * *

 

As soon as Leon left, clothes flew right and left. Chris had Nick against a wall, devouring his mouth while the brunette tried to get his belt, which was almost impossible with all the dry humping.

“I need you to stop doing that, so I can take your pants off,” Nick said pushing him away, just enough to take Chris’ mouth of his.

“Right, sorry,” Chris apologized with a smile. He took a step back and undid his belt, but before he had unbuttoned his jeans, Nick kneeled in front of him and did it for him. Chris looked down at the man as he took his erection in his mouth, looking back at him.

Nick was a good-looking guy, and skilled when it came to pleasuring another man. Chris was hard and enjoying it, but his heart was not into it. Sex with Nick was a bunch of physical reactions in his body and a great stress reliever, but also a cause for heartache.

Nick was now deepthroating him, like an expert, and Chris had to use all his willpower to stop him right then or the whole night would end too soon.

“Stop, stop, stop,” Chris mumbled quickly.

“Too bad? Nick asked with a mischevious smile, as he let Chris cock fall from his lips. He definitely knew how hot he looked then and there.

“Too good,” Chris said, holding himself to make sure he didn’t come just by looking at Nick licking his lips.

“Want to take this to bed then? Or maybe you can fuck me against the kitchen island?” the younger said lifting an eyebrow. Chris loved the idea, but he couldn’t do that to himself. He had imagined Leon bent over that same kitchen island wat too many time to take another guy right there.

Chris held his hand to help Nick stand and then lifted him, carrying him to the bedroom as Nick laughed and tried his best not to fall. Chris dropped him on the bed clumsily and then started removing their remaining clothes. This time Nick was not wearing a jockstrap, he wasn’t wearing anything at all under his jeans. Chris laughed as Nick commented he was feeling lucky.

Like the gentleman he was, Chris went down on him, doing his best to keep Leon out of his mind while he had someone else’s dick in his mouth. Nicks intense moaning and squirming kept him focused, and soon the brunette was begging to be taken.

Taking the lube and condoms he had just bought, Chris started preparing Nick. He’d like to say he was surprised to see that the man was almost ready to take him, but he really wasn’t. Nick was more enthusiast with their so-called relationship than him, so it made sense he had gotten prepared beforehand.

Putting on the condom, Chris put some more lube on both on them and penetrated Nick slowly. The younger’s moan was long and low as Chris breached him.

“God, baby, you are so big,” Nick said, raising his hips to get more friction meeting Chris’. “Do it again, harder.”

“Maybe I should give you a minute?” Chris asked. He was balls deep inside Nick now, and the last thing he needed was to end up in the ER with a sex-related injury.

“I can take it.”

That sentenced pretty much the whole conversation. Chris pulled out slowly and then rammed in. Nick’s voice got loud immediately, and Chris let himself get lost in the noise and the sensations. He tried to make it last as much as possible, but eventually, Nick’s orgasm and the contractions of all his muscles took him to the end abruptly. Unlike Nick, he just came with a quiet grunt, thrusting in a few more times until he was completely done.

“That was even better than last time,” Nick meowled. Chris smiled at him. Nick was one hell of a sight lying there naked, lips swollen and come covering his belly and chest. Why couldn’t Chris feel for him what he felt for Leon? It would all be so easy. He pulled out and went to the bathroom to get rid of the condom and get some wet wipes for Nick.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Chris lied. He sat on the bed next to Nick while the younger took care of the mess on his body.

“Would you like me to spend the night? Since last time we were interrupted too soon?”

“Sure,” Chris responded, trying to sound more enthusiastic that he actually was.

“Maybe we can go get breakfast someplace nice?” Nick stood up and took his turn in the bathroom.

“I already told Leon I’d meet him for breakfast. Well, brunch actually.”

“Oh,” the disappointment in Nick’s voice and in his face were immediately evident. “I thought that you’d like to spend some more time with me.”

“Of course I want, but he’s my friend too, and I like hanging out with him.”

“Yeah, well, I guess you can enjoy it while it lasts,” Nick said coming back to the bed. The words and the tone bothered Chris more than it should have so he couldn't help himself.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, trying not to sound defensive.

“Well, he might be around and available now, but as soon as he gets some girl’s attention he’ll forget about you,” Nick said like he was explaining something obvious. Before Chris could tell him that he didn’t know Leon at all, Nick added, “You know, your sister usually tells me that about him. He’s a great guy and a good friend most of the time, but…”

Chris remained silent. Was it right, though? Leon didn’t come to all the parties or reunions, not every time. And it was true that at times would isolate himself from everybody else. He did remember Claire mentioning that Leon was probably dating someone new after a month of not seeing the blonde.

Was Chris just an entertainer to avoid loneliness now that he had finally given up on Ada Wong?

“He was nice tonight,” Nick interrupted his thoughts.

“Yeah, he was.”

Nick got comfortable, curling around Chris’ body. He was already regretting inviting him to spend the night. He felt helpless, miserable and dirty after the sex as if the smell of it was nauseating.

He waited until Nick fell asleep to leave his bed quietly and pick up his phone and some underwear. God, he was such a mess. He went to get his cigarettes from his hidden spot. He had to hide them because Jill and Claire would get mad at him and he was pretty sure they looked for them everytime they visited.

He went out to the balcony, feeling the humid and colder air of the night. It felt like rain. He lighted a cigarette a took a long drag. He felt guilty for many things, secretly smoking wasn’t going to make a difference. He took his phone from the waistband of his boxers and checked the time. It was past midnight. Would Leon be awake? Would it be too weird to text him? Especially since Leon knew Nick was staying over. He just wanted to talk to him so bad. Just to see the blonde smile and laugh like he did when they were together.

He took another drag and felt the first raindrop on the railing. Instantly it started pouring, but he didn’t move, he was sort of sheltered, but not completely.

What a contradiction, he smiled in spite of himself, he had a man sleeping naked in his bed and yet, he felt lonely. He decided after looking at the locked screen of his phone to text Leon after all. The blonde used to be awake this late, so maybe he’d text back.

“Hey, sorry for pretty much kicking you out. Just so you know, I’m really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow for brunch.”

He finished his cigarette and went back inside. He could still hear Nick snoring softly in the room, so he went to the other bathroom in the apartment to get rid of the smell of the cigarettes and then went back to his room.

He looked at Nick sleeping there, wishing he could just fall in love with him instead, but knowing that that’s not how the heart works. Once he joined him in bed, Nick turned, cuddling him again, still asleep, while Chris remained wide awake. It was going to be a long night.

Hours later, he woke up with Nick straddling him. The younger man was leaving soft kisses on his neck and shoulder.

“Good morning,” Chris mumbled, wondering what time it was. Nick was hard, and so was he, but that didn’t exactly mean he was up for it.

“Hello, handsome,” Nick said aiming for Chris' face, but the older man turned his head.

“Morning breath,” he said. Nick sighed but didn’t give up. He attacked Chris’ neck instead, sucking hard on his skin again. Chris’ was starting to think that Nick wanted to make sure everybody knew they were sleeping together. Chris decided to roll with it so he could be done with it faster. He turned them around and spread Nick’s legs. “Hand me the lube.”

“Hm, I like bossy,” Nick said giving him the lubricant and the condoms.

Chris did his best to stimulate Nick in all the right places, but the brunette seemed bent on not coming, and what should have been a morning quicky turned into a full session. Chris started having cramps when Nick finally climaxed.

“That’s how I like to wake up every day,” Nick purred next to Chris. The older man smiled in silence and then reached looking for his phone. Then he saw the time. He was going to be late for brunch with Leon.

He stood with a jump and ran to the shower.

“Handsome? Where are you going?” Nick asked from the bed.

“I was meeting Leon for brunch, remember?” He started the shower and went back to his room to pick up what he was going to wear. As he did that, he clicked on his phone to send Leon a voice message.

“Leon, I might be a bit late, please wait for me, okay?” As he spoke, he heard Nick talking to him in the background, but only paid attention to him once the message was sent, “What?”

“Do you really have to go? I can stay a bit longer. Maybe we can have breakfast in bed?”

“I don’t want to cancel on him. Maybe we can do that next time?”

“Sure,” Nick said, not very happy with the outcome.

Chris ran back to the shower and tried to wash the sex off of him as soon as he was standing under the water. He scratched his chin, he wouldn’t have time to shave. How had he overslept though? He had an alarm set. He was washing when the shower door opened and Nick joined him.

“Since you are going to leave me anyway, I thought maybe we can make the best of the time we have left before you go to _him_ ,” Nick said, trying to kiss him again. This time, Chris allowed it. He felt guilty. Was he using Nick? He sure as hell was deceiving him. Nick was looking for a serious relationship, but Chris was nowhere near emotionally available.

“I’m in a bit of a hurry, so,” Chris said as he rinsed, “finish the shower and have breakfast if you want. When you live you just need to close the door, it’ll lock itself,” he added as he left the shower, leaving Nick alone.

He toweled himself dry as fast as he could and dressed up with the clothes he had picked before. Before he left his room, Nick came back from his shower.

“Would you mind waiting for me? I think I’ll leave now.”

“Of course,” Chris said. Nick seemed upset but didn’t say anything about it. Nick dressed up like he had all the time in the world and Chris was almost twitching by the time he was done.

They left the apartment together and kissed goodbye in front of the building since they were going opposite directions. Finally, Chris was on his way to meet Leon. The blonde hadn’t responded to his midnight text nor the voice message he had left before. Maybe he had gone?

Chris wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he ran the few streets left to the café just in case Leon was leaving. When he turned the corner, he saw the blonde still waiting in their usual table. Chris smiled instantly when he saw the other man. He was not aware of how his face and mood brightened whenever he saw Leon. He entered the café and walked towards Leon trying to calm himself and recover from the sprint.

* * *

 

Leon was about to give up and leave when he spotted Chris running down the street. He was fucking late, but he was running. It warmed Leon’s heart a bit that Chris was trying to get there as soon as possible, but he was still upset. He wouldn’t have minded the wait if he hadn’t heard the reason so bluntly.

Around forty minutes ago, when Chris sent him a message telling him he’d be late, but the message had something else besides the apology. Leon had heard Nick speaking in the background, pretty much saying it was a pity that Chris had to cut their fantastic morning sex short just because Leon was lonely. He even advised to get him a cat.

Finally, Chris made it to the table and sat. He was still a bit out of breath. Did the asshole come all the way running? As soon as the older man sat in front of him, Leon noticed several hickeys that weren’t covered by the Hemley shirt Chris was wearing. He felt his blood boil.

“If you were busy or had other things to do, better things to do, you didn’t have to come you know? Just text me, and I won’t wait here like an idiot for forty minutes,” Leon said before Chris could even say hi.

“What are you talking about? I wanted to come and have brunch with you.”

Chris words fell flat, all those hickeys and the message were more than enough excuse. Leon was feeling both elated and upset, and it was evident already, so he didn’t care to try to hide it.

“You didn’t have to come, Chris. And I don’t need to know about your sex life, or how many times you fucked your boyfriend last night, you know?” Leon said. He was so mad he couldn’t help it. Immediately he saw in Chris’ face how much those words had hurt the older man. Chris looked down, at his hands and didn’t say a thing or looked at him for what seemed the longest time.

Leon had gone too far. And he had hurt Chris’ feelings. Chris who had texted him in the middle of the night while the other guy was in his place just to tell him he was sorry and that he couldn’t wait to see him again.

“Look,” Chris said, at last, pulling up his shirt in a useless attempt to cover the love bites, “I won’t mention it again, okay? I’ll try to be more discreet about it. And I’m very sorry I’m late. I really wanted to see you,” he said looking up. Whatever Leon saw in Chris’ eyes felt as if someone was squeezing his heart.

“No, shit. I mean,” Leon tried. He was confused and felt like shit because he had hurt Chris. That was the last thing he wanted, “it’s fine, man. I told you that I support you. I do. I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something and waiting had me on edge.”

Chris nodded but didn’t seem to convince. Leon needed to lighten up the mood pronto because he didn’t want to lose Chris again. Not to Nick, not at all.

“Excuse me?” Leon called the waitress. He noticed several other tables looking at them discreetly. Well, he and Chris sitting together probably read as gay drama happening. That made Leon smile because he thought it was funny. “Can we have a raspberry mimosa pitcher?” the waitress nodded, and Chris looked at him surprised.

“A whole pitcher? You want to get drunk already?” the older man asked.

“I think we both can use some mimosas and chill. And I’m sorry I was an asshole.”

“It’s okay,” Chris said. Leon felt like he wanted to say more, but held back.

“So… how was your night with Mr sexy nurse?” Leon asked, even though this was the last thing he wanted to hear about.

“Leon, you don’t have to ask, or pretend you are interested. We don’t have to talk about it,” Chris said. He seemed embarrassed now. He knew it, he had fucked up. Chris probably thought now he was a homophobic asshole. The waitress came back with a pitcher and two glasses.

“Can I take your orders already?” she asked.

“Give us a few more minutes,” Leon asked. He had had time to check the menu but Chris hadn’t, and he knew the man always was careful with what he ordered and liked to take his time thinking.

The waitress nodded and smiled before leaving.

Leon served the two glasses and offered Chris one, then raised his. Chris smiled and raised his too.

“Thanks for coming,” Leon said clinking his glass with Chris’.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it,” Chris assured. “So I think Sean is going to try and propose to Claire,” Chris said taking the menu.

That moment hit Leon for several reasons. The first one was obviously because Claire might be about to get engaged. The second one was because Chris seemed to be back to normal. But the third and probably the most important to him at the moment was that Chris had changed the topic drastically, to something he probably considered safe. They were back in square one when Chris didn’t trust Leon enough to share anything regarding his love life. Could he blame Chris, tho? No, he had been a jerk and should have known better.

He tried to go with it and go back to their usual bantering. Maybe in time, Chris would trust him again. He could only hope it wasn’t too late and Chris didn’t decide to give up on him.


	6. Heat of the moment

It had been a whole week since that terrible Saturday morning, and Chris still went back to every word Leon had said in the café every time he thought of the blonde, that, being honest, was most of the time. Had he been sharing too much? He sure as hell didn’t mean to. Now he couldn’t shake the idea of Leon not being okay with his relationship. His mind was telling him to focus on Nick, that was a relationship with a future. His heart had different ideas, and wouldn’t stop pinning. Chris was putting Leon’s feeling before his or Nick’s, and he knew how pathetic that was.

He had had lunch and drinks with Leon and Nick and somehow had managed to make them both upset about it. Nick wouldn’t stop insinuating that Leon was an opportunist while Leon would try and talk about Nick even though it was more than obvious he had no interest.

The blonde seemed still regretful about his words, but it was not fooling Chris. He had fought himself to cancel on Leon that Friday and instead of meeting Nick, he canceled on him too. Maybe some time alone was what he needed.

Chris set his phone in Do Not Disturb mode and tried to catch up with his feelings. That usually meant cooking. In the past few years, he had come to rely on cooking or baking to calm his nerves. He had had struggles after many of his missions and incidents, one too many traumatic experiences and dances with death and loss. Cooking helped him focus on one step at the time in a process, was relaxing and allowed him to dwell on his feelings.

He decided to go for something easy and comforting, so mac&cheese. He took his time with each step as he went through the past few weeks over and over. He ended getting a perfect dish, creamy sauce, grated cheese on top, and chewy center in the casserole. He was looking at his masterpiece realizing only then that he had plenty of it and he was completely alone. Maybe he could bring some to Jill tomorrow, he was sure she would appreciate it. On the other hand, she’d know immediately that something was wrong as soon as she saw the food.

He sighed and decided to indulge himself a bit and opened the fancy wine he had bought a while ago thinking of a special date he never had. He had had Nick over and not even once he thought about that bottle. As he uncorked it, he heard the door. He left his fancy wine on the counter and opened the door.

“Hi, neighbor,” the girl said. It was that girl who fought and fucked her boyfriend loud enough for the whole building to hear.

“Hi,” Chris said, suspicious. She was too sweet and all smiles.

“So, it’s like the middle of the night, and all that and I know it’s like a super weird request, but I sort of heard you had company the other night, so I thought maybe you had condoms to spa-“ before she could finish, Chris closed the door in her face.

What happened to pretend no one else in the building existed? This was outrageous. Who goes next door and ask to borrow a few condoms? And what’s more, didn’t she know everybody in the building knew his boyfriend was out of town? Chris came back to his wine and poured some in a clean glass.

He remembered buying this set of glasses. He had imagined dinners with friends and also candlelight dinners with that someone special, sipping wine and talking for hours. For now, his lonely glass of wine and his dinner for one would have to do.

He drank the whole glass and then poured some more wine as he turned on the TV. There must be something somewhere that matched his mood. After changing channels a couple of times, he gave up and let a romantic comedy play. It was your usual “boy meets girl” story that always depressed him. It was never boy meets boy unless there is a ton of unnecessary drama added to the narrative. He was bitching about it and convincing himself not to go and adopt a dog or a cat right then when they knocked on the door again.

He groaned and went to take the door.

“Oh my god, I’m not going to give you condoms!” he exclaimed opening the door only to find a very surprised Leon on the other side.

“Okay dude, I didn’t want any,” Leon said, hands up. Shit, Chris thought. The last thing he needed was Leon showing up and he yelling about condoms. Leon probably regretted showing up already.

“What are you doing here?” Chris asked before he could remember his manners. Leon seemed offended by the question.

“You turned off your fucking phone after bailing on me without an explanation. What the fuck, man?” Leon asked. Chris wanted to close the door in his face too, but his heart was beating faster and stronger just by seeing the blonde, so instead, like the lovesick idiot he was, Chris invited Leon in without a word.

"This has been bothering me since we last hung out. I called, but you didn't answer, and I know you said you didn't want to be bothered, but after the cafe..." the blonde insisted. He wanted answers, but Chris knew he wouldn’t like them.

"I told you it's all good Leon,” he lied.

"If it's all good, then why didn't you answer your phone? You were already distant during lunch the other day. I don’t like it."

"I just needed a bit of me time," Chris tried.

Leon looked to the elder with concern, "Why didn't you just say that?" He asked. "Is...is it because of what I said at the cafe?" He asked.

"No, it's just..." how could he explain it? I’m in love with you, and I’m trying not to be because it’s going to have an awful ending for me?

Leon awaited an answer from the elder, "Chris, I swear, I'm not homophobic. I just...seeing you and Nick together..." Leon started. It bothered Chris if he was honest with himself. Leon would tell him about his affairs, but after telling him he was cool with it, he freaked out at any sign of Chris having any kind of gay relationship.

"That sounds pretty much like homophobic to me."

"No! It's...I don't know how else to explain it, but it was like…,” Leon stopped, looking for words probably, “like when I used to like Claire, and she would tell me about this Steve guy...or when Ada would leave..." Leon tried to explain. So basically Leon was upset because his usual toys had better things to do? Was that what this meant? Hearing that Leon used to like Claire or hearing from Ada made Chris a bit sick. They were both beautiful women. Women. Not men. Leon didn’t like men. Chris sighed. He was never going to win any battle against himself when it came to Leon.

“Look, I’m sorry if you felt I shut you out. It was not my intention. I just needed some time to catch up with myself,” he apologized. The blonde only nodded. It was awkward again between them. Whatever they had had, had evaporated during the last few times they had met.

“Expecting company?” Leon asked, eyeing the wine and the considerable casserole of pasta. It didn’t escape Chris the hurt look in Leon’s eyes for that short second.

“No,” he reassured. It would have been easier to lie his way out of this one, but he’d endure anything before hurting Leon’s feelings. “I just cooked to relax and when I realized it was too much too late.”

“It smells good…” Leon said with a lopsided smile. Chris smiled back.

“I guess I can share some with you,” Chris surrendered.

“Hope that includes the wine,” Leon said finally coming in farther into the apartment. They have been standing awkwardly on the entrance, but Leon was now taking a plate like he was in his own house, and also a glass. He served some wine first and then served two dishes, offering one to Chris. It all looked so right whenever they shared this space, everything flowed so smoothly when it was just the two of them cooking or watching a movie, or even those times they had gone to the gym together. It was just fun and felt right.

“What are we watching?”

“Nothing really,” Chris said as they sat on the couch with their dinner and their wine, “I just stopped trying to find something watchable.”

“Se we are watching…” Leon waited as he stared at the tv, “the last romantic comedy on Netflix? Don’t tell me, she’s a journalist who wants so bad to get that promotion she took this frisky job where she has to lie and pretend and then she falls in love with him, the object of the article she was supposed to write?”

“You’ve seen it?” Chris laughed.

“Seen one, seen them all.”

Even tho they both made fun of the movie, the watched it end while he ate and drank. Once the wine bottle was empty, Leon brought whiskey. Chris knew immediately that this was a terrible idea, he was feeling very vulnerable, and Leon was trying to fix something that had no solution.

They started with whiskey on the rocks, then they ran out of ice so drank the whiskey neat. Some movie or tv show played in the background, but they were now engaged in drunken conversation. Chris was sure he had let out a couple of secrets he had no intention of telling Leon, and even might have mentioned this looked like a perfect date to him. Leon probably just laughed and shrugged it off.

Chris was now daydreaming about another life, where he and Leon were on an actual date. Leon would maybe hold his hand, or kiss him. Inadvertently, they were getting closer and closer on the couch, they were even touching, and Leon seemed cool with it. That and the alcohol were messing so much with Chris' head.

“I don’t like when you are with Nick, because when you are with him, you are not with me,” Leon said suddenly. Or maybe it wasn’t sudden at all. Chris felt like perhaps he hadn’t been listening for a few minutes so maybe Leon had been talking about it. He looked at the blonde, who in return was looking at his half-empty tumbler.

Chris didn’t say a word. What could he say?

“Sorry,” Leon apologized after an instant, “I shouldn’t be saying weird shit like that,” He tried to sit straight. “I think I’m just feeling lonely, and to be honest I haven’t gotten laid in a while,” he laughed. For some reason, those words made Chris do something really stupid. Like he wanted to fix every problem Leon had just mentioned.

He leaned in, not sure if to kiss Leon or what, but the blonde turned his head, slowly, and didn’t move from his spot on the sofa. Chris rested his forehead against Leon temple for several seconds while both of them remained quiet. Chris sighed, Leon breathed in.

And then Chris went for Leon’s jeans. He tried clumsily to undo the belt and buttons, while Leon just looked at him do. In the same drunken fashion, Chris dragged himself from the couch to the floor to kneel between Leon’s legs. It all felt like it was someone else doing all this and Chris was just watching. Like an extrasensory experience.

He struggled a bit more with the belt and buttons but managed to open them. Before doing anything else, he looked up. Leon was staring back at him, immobile. Chris hooked one finger on the elastic band of Leon’s underwear and pulled it down while still looking at the blonde in the eye. Leon was just looking at him and letting him undress him and touch him. It was all so quiet that the silence was deafening.

Chris pulled the boxer briefs as out of the way as possible, getting closer. He couldn't help himself and buried his nose in Leon’s groin, breathing in the blonde’s musky scent. It smelled as good or even better than he ever dreamed. He pushed Leon’s t-shirt out of the way too, to kiss his hip bone, his navel, and then he licked his way down to Leon’s cock. Chris could felt himself getting hard immediately.

First Chris licked the whole hardening length while looking straight at Leon. The younger man was just sitting there, letting Chris move him around like he was a rag doll, but he wouldn't take his eyes off the elder.

Chris took Leon in his mouth and sucked lightly, making the younger moan. As if his life was on the stake, Chris did everything he could in his drunken state to perform the best blowjob Leon had ever had. As Chris bobbed his head up and down Leon started to get into it and to react, placing a hand on Chris' head and pulling on his short hair, while his other hand held onto the sofa’s fabric.

He took all the time in the world to satisfy the man in front of him, doing every single thing he had learned about sex, like every sexual experience in his life had taken him here. He sucked harder, then stopped to deep throat him, then pulled Leon’s dick out of his mouth almost wholly to just play with his tongue, all while he kept a hand on the root and massaged all he could reach through the jeans.

Eventually, when Leon was the hardest, he pulled on his hair and tried to draw him closer to his crotch. Usually, Chris didn’t take well to be pulled and pushed around, but he just followed Leon’s hand and swallowed him whole, just in time for the blonde to come with a loud moan in his mouth and a little down his throat. Chris just took it all, even though there was a conscious thought in the back of his mind telling him he was a fucking reckless asshole.

Chris almost choked on Leon’s cock and release but was able to let go of it. He was well aware of the painfully hard erection he had by then and knew he had to take care of it but first needed to check on the blonde. Leon was by now sprawled on the sofa. He was covering his eyes with his arm, and there was a faint smile on his lips.

Chris didn’t want to leave him, not now, not ever, but he needed to relieve himself so bad. He kissed Leon’s hip once more as he stood and went to the ensuite bathroom. He felt lightheaded and as if he was burning from inside. He saw himself in the mirror as he turned on the lights in the bathroom. He was a mess, lips were swollen, hair pointing in all directions, eyes dark with desire and semen running down his chin. He smiled to himself in the mirror. He was a fool.

Still, with Leon’s taste in his mouth and like he was still feeling his hand on his hair, Chris fisted his own erection, mentally playing every single noise Leon had made. He hadn’t been this horny in a long time, so he brought himself off using his own hand embarrassingly quickly. He even had to brace his free hand against a wall not to fall. The whole situation made him laugh, even though it was far from funny.

He’d have to clean the bathroom later, he was pretty sure there was come everywhere now. He washed his hands and face and breathed in deeply, preparing for whatever he might find or not find back in the living room. He was sobering up faster than he expected, and the weight of the events of the night will start sinking in sooner rather than later.

He went back to where he had left Leon and was honestly surprised to find him still there and awake.

“Hey,” Leon said, looking up at Chris. He was still on the couch.

“Hey,” Chris responded, noticing only the how hoarse his voice sounded.

“Can I crash here? I think I’m too drunk to go home,” Leon said, as he moved to lay down horizontally on the couch.

“Sure,” Chris chuckled. He was happy. Leon hadn’t run away. He was drunk, sure, but he could have gone, or stop him any time, right? And on top of that, he wanted to stay. Chris didn’t know if that was good or not, he was still as drunk as Leon and not lucid enough to realize how problematic this all could actually be.

He walked to the end of the couch where Leon’s feet were, and took the blonde’s shoes off, and then got him a pillow and a blanket.

“Good night, Leon,” Chris said, turning off the tv and the lights and going back to his room. He left the door open as he undressed and climbed in bed in his underwear.

The apartment was silent again, and all he could hear as he lay in bed, falling asleep was Leon’s breathing in the other room. If only he could listen to that every night and closer to him.

* * *

 

Leon woke up hearing someone moan. A woman. A woman was moaning so loud it looked that the noise came from somewhere nearby. He sat up straight to find himself in Chris’ living room. What was he doing here? He looked towards Chris bedroom and saw the man in bed, covering his head with a pillow. He probably had noticed the woman moaning.

“Who’s that?” Leon asked.

“My neighbor, and that’s not her boyfriend!” Chris said groaning. Leon noticed something weird in Chris’ voice, it sounded a bit hoarse, raspy. Leon turned to lay his feet on the floor and realized then his pants were undone. As he looked down, a flashback from the night before invaded his mind. Chris on his knees in front of him, sucking and licking, and looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Chris had blown him the night before. His friend Chris, that was gay and had a boyfriend. And was laying in bed just a few feet away.

One thought was stronger than all the confusion and panic, and it was the fact that it had been, for all Leon could remember a fantastic blow job.

Leon groaned, confused and lost inside his own head. What did this mean? Were they still friends? What was gonna happen now? The woman got louder, if possible. Leon looked as Chris got out of bed, wearing only tight boxer briefs, and hit the wall yelling.

“Shut the fuck up, or we’re telling your fucking boyfriend!” all noise stopped immediately. Chris turned to look at Leon. The looked at each other for a second and a half before bursting into laughter. They laughed for minutes nonstop, until they had tears in their eyes.

“Is it true that that's not her boyfriend?” Leon asked, trying to breathe normally again.

“Yeah, the boyfriend left a couple of days ago to some business trip. She made sure we all saw them say goodbye and suck face.”

Chris went to the kitchen, still in underwear, and took two glasses and poured water. Any other time, Leon wouldn’t have probably mind Chris lack of clothes, but now, it felt weird for him. He couldn’t stop staring. He was fascinated with how those well-defined muscles moved under Chris tanned skin.

“Water?” Chris offered a glass, walking towards him. Leon took it and moved to leave some room for Chris on the couch. “Do you feel as shitty as I feel?”

“Probably. Worse actually, I slept on the couch, so my whole body hurts.”

“You could have come to the bed,” Chris said casually. Leon didn’t know how to take it. “Want some ibuprofen? Maybe breakfast?”

“Can you cook?”

“I can try but cannot guarantee anything too fancy,” Chris said before rubbing his eyes. The elder laid back, closing his eyes and sighed loudly.

“Can you make grilled cheese?” Leon asked frowning. They were sitting close. Closer than they used to. And it didn’t feel wrong or weird.

“Yeah, it should be easy enough. By the way, you are taking half of the remaining mac& cheese with you when you leave,” Chris announced standing to go back to the kitchen.

Leon stayed there dwelling on it all some more until the smell of the molten cheese and butter reached him. He joined Chris in the kitchen and sat on one of the stools, facing Chris as he cooked. There was a bottle of ibuprofen on the counter, so Leon took a couple and swallowed with some water. He only realized too late he had taken Chris glass. Chris looked at him while he held his glass.

“I took your glass, sorry.”

 “S’okay. Can you make some coffee?” he asked as he flipped one of the sandwiches throwing it in the air with the pan. To be hungover as fuck, Chris was doing more than fine.

Leon made himself stop staring and went to the coffee machine and put a capsule on it and got mugs. He was clumsy, and it took longer than it should have to prepare two cups. When he was done, he came back to the island to set the coffees and then went to get milk from the fridge. He was aware at all times of where Chris was standing in the room, even without looking. He walked past Chris to get the sugar, and the older man moved just enough to let him get the sugar and go back, like if they practiced walking around in small spaces.

Leon sat back again, pouring milk and sugar in his coffee and Chris’ at the same time the elder served the sandwiches.

“God, that smells good.”

“I hope it tastes good too,” Chris said smiling. He walked around the kitchen island to sit next to him and then took a sip of coffee. “Tastes good,” Chris said in his still raspy voice.

“I just had to push a button…”, Leon offered.

“Still, the right amount of milk and sugar.”

They ate in silence at first, but then they started hearing it. The neighbor was talking to someone, almost yelling.

“Seems that this male friend didn’t know about the boyfriend?” Leon asked as he tried to cut the cheese that kept stretching in his sandwich.

“I’d like to know who gave her condoms,” Chris laughed.

“She really came asking to borrow condoms?”

“Yeah. Like it was salt or something.”

 

They ended their sandwiches in silence and then did the dishes together, even though Leon offered since Chris had cooked.

Chris went back to his room to make the bed and tidy up a bit, so Leon did the same in the living room, folding the blanket and putting it back in the closet where Chris took it from along with the pillow.

“Hey, I think I’m gonna get going,” Leon yelled from the kitchen. Chris must have been in the bathroom because he couldn’t see him in his room.

“Take some mac&cheese,” Chris reminded him.

Once more, as if he was in his own house, Leon opened kitchen cabinets to find a container and poured half of the pasta leftovers. Once he was served he closed it and walked to the door.

“I’m leaving,” he called. “Call you later?”

“Sure,” Chris said coming back to say goodbye. Leon waved from the door, and Chris mirrored him from his bedroom doorstep.

As soon as he was outside the apartment, Leon was able to hear the yelling from the neighbors more clearly. He walked down the stairs to get back on the streets wondering what the hell did just happen in Chris’ place and what the hell did that all mean.

Meanwhile, back in the apartment, Chris had a silly smile on his face as he cleaned all the cum stains in the bathroom and threw his clothes in the laundry basket as he wondered if there was a chance of something actually happening between him and Leon.


	7. I can't make you love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Infinite thanks to Sparks for being so fucking helpful. You a genius my dude.

Chris was done cleaning the bathroom and picking up last night glasses when his phone went off. He was still too hangover and distracted by this little ray of hope he didn’t check before answering.

“Hi,” he answered, putting the last glass in the rack.

“Hello, handsome,” Nick voice chanted on the other side, “You feeling better today?” Chris felt like his blood froze. He hadn’t thought about Nick, or his current relationship with him for the last twelve hours and he had pretty much cheated on the nurse.

“Hey,” he greeted back, “yeah, a bit better. Just needed a break of everything.”

“Good, I need you healthy. So I was thinking, you’d like to make some plans for today? I’d like to see you,” Nick almost purred. Chris felt disgusted by himself immediately. Nick was a really great guy and genuinely wanted him, and yet, he was an asshole and was using him.

“Ah…” Chris started. He couldn’t face Nick, not that very same day, while he still felt Leon’s taste in his mouth and couldn't shake the image of Leon squirming under the ministrations of his head. And now he also had to get tested because he had been stupid enough to even swallow. He knew Leon, but you never know where someone’s been before you.

“Is that a no? Ugh, don’t tell me, you gonna meet Leon again? I swear to god I feel like I’m dating both of you at times.”

“Sorry, no, it’s just – I just woke up. Had a few things to do today, but maybe we can have lunch tomorrow?”

“Aw I hate only seeing you for lunch on weekdays, you know that. Maybe dinner and spending the night instead?”

“Ah- I’ll check, okay? Gotta go now. I’ll you later.”

“Are you sure you are okay?” Nick asked. Why did he have to be so nice and worry about him? Chris didn’t fucking deserve it. He was a piece of trash and should let Nick go before he hurt him.

“Yeah, just need a shower and to start my day already,” Chris lied.

“Okay… call me, alright?”

“Of course,” With that, he finished the call. He didn’t feel so good anymore. He had to deal with Nick somehow but, what if Leon didn’t really want him? What if he didn’t even remember what had happened last night? He hadn’t said a word in the morning and acted as if nothing had happened. What did he expect, really? He had gone down on his crush while they were both drunk. That’s not how love stories start.

He sighed and groaned. What the hell was he going to do now? Should he break up with Nick, even if he didn’t stand a chance with Leon? It was only fair for Nick, the nurse could probably found someone much better than Chris who wouldn’t use him as they mat. But then Chris would be lonely again. And Claire would worry.

God, Claire was going to kill him. And Jill too.

Chris was too old for this kind of drama, and he needed to get his shit together. Too bad that week was not going to be a good week to do that.

Chris was thankful for taking the whole Sunday to rest and reflect on his life, because on Monday, as soon as he got to HQ, a hellish nightmare unfolded. It all started with a call from Rebecca from Chicago, someone had broken into the lab and stolen samples.

That meant that the BSAA had to take charge of the investigation and they had to send a team. He met Jill and Barry to discuss the protocols and pick a team for this investigation.

“Captain,” Jill said as Chris entered the room. They already had all the recruits and agents available in the conference room to brief them.

“Captain,” Chris responded. Some of the most veteran agents rolled their eyes at the recurring joke.

“Any news?” Chris asked joining Barry.

“Several samples of some A-virus have been stolen, according to the lab techs, those are the only ones missing.”

“A-virus? Are you sure they said A?” Chris asked. Not again, he thought. It made sense now that Rebecca had called them directly.

“Might have nothing to do with Arias, Chris. For all, we know it can be some other government. Or Umbrella or maybe even the Iluminados,” Jill said, but Chris knew better.

“I want our best team on the lookout for Maria Gomez,” Chris said speaking now louder for the whole room and touching the touch screen behind him to show Maria’s file. “We never recover her body after the incident in New York, and we suspect she made it out. She might be behind this.”

Jill and Barry nodded and then Jill took over.

“We need any security footage from several days maybe weeks before the break-in, whoever stole the samples must have been watching the lab for a while. We’ll send a team to Chicago to assist with the investigation,” she gave files to several agents, “Team Alpha,” she said.

“We’ll also have a team watch for any Iluminados activities down in Spain,” Barry added, “they had been hiding and quiet for too long now so the might be up to something.”

Barry picked his own team and then they concluded the rest of the briefing. Most agents left the room, except some of the chosen ones to be deployed, who had some questions.

“Captain Valentine,” Chris called her.

“Yes, Captain Redfield?”

“I’m taking the Silver Daggers to Chicago, I want to supervise this operation personally.” Jill frowned.

“What for? We have teams assigned already.”

“I need a breather,” Chris confessed quietly.

“Nick is too much?” Jill whispered, “ I fucking told Claire, that guy is ready to pick the wedding cake, and you are a gentle soul and need some courting,” Jil said mostly to himself. Chirs couldn’t fight a smile haring his friend.

“Not going to lie to you, things are going a bit fast.”

“Of course, boo. I’ll tell, Barry and we’ll make the arrangements.”

“Tell me what?” Barry asked joining the conversation as soon as he dispatched the two agents left in the room.

“Chris is going to supervise the investigation in situ,” Jill said, being the protective friend she was. Not that she needed to do that with Barry.

“Why’s that?” Chris and Jill remained silent, looking at Barry, who just rolled his eyes and sighed, “You guys need to stop using work to unfuck your personal lives. I have to go now, I need to get hold of your friend Kennedy for some assistance with this damn cult.”

“Is he here?” Chris asked. He hoped he didn’t look too eager just by hearing Leon’s name.

“He should, I had to talk to his assistant. Did you know he had one? I thought he was just an agent,” Barry said, shrugging before he left.

“Kennedy has an assistant, and I can’t even have a printer in my office?” Jill asked.

“It’s not that you can’t, but the BSAA cannot afford to buy you a new printer every month.”

“Like it was my fault they only buy cheap printers that break easily,” Jill protested.

They walked together back to their offices and greeted a few agents on their way. Chris was thankful to leave the city for a day or two but hoped to sort this out soon, the last thing he needed now was an outbreak.

“You better get this shit done while in Chicago, I have a hot date this Friday, and I will not have a national crisis, you hear me?” Jill told him.

“Have I been the worst friend not knowing about your date?” Chris asked confused. He and Jill used to share everything. Sometimes too much, like even the gross stuff. That made him feel guilty because he was hiding something big from her now.

“Oh, not really, I just didn’t tell you. Didn’t want to jinx it.”

“Oh, so Josh is back in town,” Chris said grinning.

“He is, and he wanted to meet,” Jill responded as she blushed. “So don’t be an asshole and do your fucking job,” she said, and then when a couple of new agents passed by, “Captain.”

“I will do, Captain,” Chris responded trying to keep a serious face.

“That’ll be all, Captain.”

“Yes, Captain,” Chris said finally. They took separate ways back to their offices, and Chris started preparing for the trip. He had to get in touch with his team and review all the information they had gathered. He was busy, immersed in the case when someone knocked on his door.

“Come on in,” he called from his desk.

“Captain Redfield?· He heard it before he saw it. That sardonic voice. Chris smiled instantly.

“Agent Kennedy, what can I do for you?” he said standing.

“So, I was in the neighborhood,” Leon said, getting further into the office and putting his hands into his pockets, “I thought I might come by and visit my good friend.”

“That’s all?” Chris asked.

“Where the hell do you guys get coffee here? I asked Barry after we were done and he told me how to get to the canteen. I’m pretty sure he lied though.”

Chris laughed, it was more likely that Leon got lost than Barry messing with him or giving him the wrong indications.

“I can’t believe you couldn’t find it on your own… there are signs every few feet for the canteen, you know?”

“Well, yeah, but finding it on my own doesn’t give me an excuse to steal you for a coffee,” Leon admitted finally. Chris' heart skipped a beat. Leon just got out of his way to see him and grab a coffee together. His cheeks hurt a bit from so much smiling, which made him smile even more.

“Okay, I’ll show you the way, but I don’t have much time, I gotta leave for Chicago later today and still have a lot of things to do.”

“Wait, what? You leaving?” Leon asked, following Chris as they left the office.

“Yeah, I’m going to take a look into the whole robbery myself. I think it might be related to Arias,” Chris explained as they walked.

“Chris, Arias is dead,” Leon reminded him.

“Yeah, but we don’t know about Maria, and if I were her, I would want us all dead. She already broke in that lab once, so she can probably do it again.”

“She had Arias’ resources and men at her disposal back then. If this is her, she’s alone,” Leon explained.

“Unless she found a different ally,” Chris said.

“Los Iluminados are not behind this. I’m almost positive, and I already told Barry about it.”

“I hope you are right.”

They discussed the case while the walked, and Chris joked pointing at every sign showing the directions to the canteen. When they got there, they had to wait for the line of agents already there for their morning fix.

When it was their turn to order, Chris placed both orders and paid for both coffees.

“So you know my order by heart,” Leon said.

“Of course,” Chris responded. They took their coffees from the end of the bar and looked for a quiet place to talk. They sat in one of the last tables by the windows. The BSAA Headquarters was a state of the art facility and had hundreds of employees and several buildings, in addition to the academy that was an adjacent facility. There were several stores and canteens in the different buildings, and Chris loved the one they were in especially, not only because it was the one closer to his office.

“This is a nice office and canteen you have in here,” Leon commented looking at the landscape outside the walls. This was one of the tallest buildings, so it was possible to see the whole base from that very window.

“You are welcome anytime, and to be honest, I could use an assistant,” Chris joked.

“From DSO top agent to an assistant? Where do I sign?”

“And I didn’t even mention the benefits!”

“Wait, there are benefits? I mean, what else can you offer besides working for you?” Leon rolled on with it. They both laughed, and Chris knew exactly how it looked for whoever who knew him. It looked like love. There was no other way around it. Chris realized then and there that this was not a crush, he was in love with his best friend, and there was no coming back from that. The realization made him nervous and awkward, and he turned his eyes to his coffee.

“Chris?” he heard Leon calling.

“Yeah?” looking up he saw Leon’s concern but also a gentle smile. Why was he so beautiful? Did he even know? His hair was shining reflecting the sun rays that the clouds were not hiding. His eyes seemed bluer that day, and there was something about the way he smiled at Chris that made Chris feel butterflies and get all flustered. He looked down again, unable to maintain Leon’s look.

“What’s wrong?” Leon sounded more concerned now.

“Nothing,” Chris said, he cleared his throat. “Look I really have a lot of things to do before the trip, but maybe we can get together for dinner when I’m back?” this was ridiculous, he was getting all worked up just to ask Leon to hang out like they didn’t do that all the time already.

“You don’t need to ask me, just say when and where and I’ll be there,” Leon said, blinking an eye. Chris screamed inside wondering what did that mean? Was Leon flirting? Was he out of the friend zone? As if it was a sign, Leon’s phone went off. “It seems they finally realized I’m gone,” he said looking at the screen,” I have to go. Call me when you are back,” he said, taking his coffee and leaving. Chris remained sitting there looking at nothing while his coffee went cold.

He was fucked.

*

Chris and the Daggers took the Osprey to Chicago just a few hours after his sudden meeting with Leon and Chris was still shaken. As soon as they landed in Chicago in the proximities of the lab, Chris went back to the Captain mode. He knew that people depended on him out there and he couldn’t afford any mistakes or recklessness because of his personal life.

It took them several days to identify, locate and apprehend the culprit. Luckily it was no terrorist, strictly speaking. One of the lab workers had found himself in a bad situation and had tried to sell the sample on the black market, knowing where to find for buyers and which virus would be more profitable.

Chris was so glad the situation resolved so quickly and without any casualties. He even had time to hang out with Becca the night before they came back and gossip a bit. He told her about Claire’s imminent engagement, and she assured she’ll be there for any party. They also discussed Jill’s never-ending story with Josh. It had been going on for years now. Chris still felt a bit guilty because that first time Josh approached Jill, he and Jill had been dating and he basically got in the way only to break up with Jill shortly after.

All in all, these few days away from home helped him to clear out his mind a bit. Not thinking about Leon or his personal life helped, but at the end of the day he’d see text both from Leon and Nick, and it was almost like going back to square one. He had to break it off with Nick, even if the things with Leon didn’t work. It’s the least Nick deserved.

As he got in the osprey on the way back, he texted Leon letting him know he would be home for dinner and ignored one of Nick’s messages out of guilt. He made a mental list of the things he’d need to buy for dinner, including some more wine and maybe candles.

Chris almost run out of the plane and to his car as soon as they landed. Jill stopped him requesting a report, and Chris just told her to please wait until Monday. He went to the store in his uniform getting all the undesired looks possible, but he didn’t mind it, he was on a mission. He bought the best steaks in the store, the best wine and even something for dessert. He had a feeling that things were going to change that night. On his way to pay, he picked up some candles too, just in case. Whatever happened that night, Chris wanted it to be special.

When he got home, he texted Leon asking him to come over for dinner, and then hurried to marinate the steaks, chilling the wine a bit, and roasting some potatoes. He cleaned around the house a bit and even changed the sheets. As he was doing it, he wondered what the hell he was doing but did it anyway. Then he took a shower and spend more time than usually grooming and getting ready. He wanted to look his best self tonight.

When he was dressed and ready, he started lighting candles around the apartment, but he couldn’t light them all before someone knocked on the door.

Chris left the lighters and went to get the door, realizing only then that it was already eight o’clock.

“Hey,” Leon greeted.

“Hey! Come in,” Chris said, letting him in. Leon was bringing a bottle of whiskey Chris hoped they didn't open at all.

“Woah, smells good. And your place looks…different?” Leon asked turning around to look at him. He left the whiskey in the cabinet with the other liquors and then went for the wine. “Can I open it?”

“Of course. Hope you like steak,” Chris said taking them from the fridge.

“Oh hell yes!” Leon exclaimed seeing the plate. “Are we celebrating something I’m not aware of? Is it our anniversary?” the blonde joked. “Wait, it’s not your birthday, right?”

Chris laughed.

“No, it’s not. I’m just in the mood to spoil us a bit,” he said. Leon nodded and served two glasses of wine.

“So how was Chicago?” Leon asked.

“Windy,” Chris responded seriously. Leon rolled his eyes making Chris chuckle again. “It wasn’t a big deal, it was an inside job.”

“Oh, well. At least it was quick to deal with.”

They discussed the case while Chris grilled the steaks and Leon tried to steal some of the potatoes, Chris would pretend he didn’t allow the blonde, but he was aware that Leon had taken a few ones already.

They took the conversation to the table and as soon as Leon tried the steak he moaned in a way that made Chris cock twitch, making him move uncomfortably in his chair.

“That good?” Chris asked.

“Yes. You have a gif, my friend. Everything is fucking perfect. The wine, the steak, the potatoes. Dude you are going to make some guy real lucky one day,” Leon said utterly unaware of Chris staring at him with pretty much hearts in his eyes. All he cared about was that Leon was enjoying dinner.

They finished the main course, and Chris took the small chocolate cakes he got them for dessert. Leon joked saying Chris spoiled him, only to have Chris say that he deserved it.

They had opened the second bottle of wine during dinner, and they were about to finish it, sharing some old stories and catching up about the week Chris had spent away.

“Let me get the dishes this time,” Leon said standing up and taking his and Chris’ plate.

“Nah, it’s fine, let me help you,” Chris said, following suit. They picked up everything on the table and washed and dried every single piece while they stood together over the sink. Chris felt Leon shoulder bump into him at times when the blonde moved and was loving the proximity. Leon suddenly turned to look at him, catching him staring. Chris blushed, he could feel his face burning, but for once, he didn’t take his eyes away. They were so close.

This was it, this was his chance. He had tried and failed once, but things where different now, right? He leaned in, getting even closer to Leon.

Only to have Leon push him away immediately.

“Woah!” Leon exclaimed, “What are you doing?!” the blonde asked, clearly confused, and taking a step back. Chris was petrified. Had he misunderstood everything?

“Shit,” he muttered. He got it all wrong? Again? It couldn’t be. Not this time. Could it? “I-I guess I got it all wrong,” Chris said mostly to himself. His heart was racing, and he could feel his hands shake, “but-but all the signals…”

Um? What signals?" Leon asked, "I haven't been giving you any signals."

It didn’t escape Chris eyes that Leon was slowly pulling away from him.

"The other night? The last couple of days? The clinginess all of a sudden?" Chris asked like it was evident.

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. And the other night? When you and I were both drunk?" the blonde asked, incredulous. "I didn't consent to that, you just did it."

That hit Chris like a two by four, like freezing water, like a bullet straight to the heart. He remained quiet, horrified by what Leon had just said. He didn’t know what to do or what to say. Was there anything he could say at all?

"Wait. Is that what all this was? Were you trying to get me in bed?!" Leon asked now, he was outraged. Offended even.

“I-I didn’t mean to…” Chris tried, knowing an apology wouldn’t cut it, but he had to try.

“To what? Take advantage of me? You basically were trying to get me drunk again, weren't you?”

“You came here uninvited the other night!”

“And you took advantage of that!” Leon yelled at him, “I trusted you and you-you pretty much raped me,” he continued, his voice going lower as his expression went from mad to horrified. Like he had just realized Chris was a monster. He did feel like a monster.

Had he really done that? Had he forced Leon into this dynamic just for his own gain? Chris almost felt his heart breaking. He knew it was not physically accurate, but he really felt like something fell to pieces inside him.

“Look,” he said. He had a lump in his throat, “we were both drunk.”

“So what?” Leon asked. The blonde was mad again like he didn’t know if he wanted to be angry or scared or sad or betrayed.

“Leon, it’s not like I pushed you, I mean. You could have just stopped me, or… the days after you said nothing about it. You were acting normal. Even closer than usual.”

“I’m not gay Chris. You abused me, you forced yourself on me and now are trying to blame it on me? Really? Keep telling yourself that, that I wanted it, that I asked for it. I fucking didn’t, and you are disgust-“

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Chris said suddenly, startling them both. He could feel tears burning in his eyes. Leon didn’t move or said a word, he seemed as surprised as Chris. “I said, get the fuck out,” Chris repeated, his voice failing. Leon huffed and went for the door.

“Fuck you, Chris,” Leon said opening the door.

“Don’t forget your fucking jacket!” Chris yelled, seeing the blonde’s leather jacket on the chair he had been sitting just minutes ago. He threw the jacket at Leon, hitting him in the face.

After that, Leon closed the door with a bang that was heard in the whole building.

Chris looked at the closed door, trying to move, or go after Leon or do something. But he couldn’t. his heart was broken, and it physically hurt. It hurt him when he breathed, he thought. He closed his eyes, letting hot tears fall down his cheeks. What the hell had he done?

Was he really the monster Leon had depicted? Chris let his legs give and ended up sitting on the floor. He rested his back against the kitchen island and little by little curled over himself, holding his knees against his chest. He was having a panic attack, and he couldn’t stop crying, now with ragged sobs and more tears. It was starting to get hard to breathe, and he needed to stop the hyperventilating before it started. He was too upset to be rational in the midst of all this, so he did the only thing he knew that would help him.

He knew this was a horrible idea, he knew it, and told himself so as he drove down the streets. The asphalt was wet, it had rained earlier in the night, and he was drunk and in the still struggling with some really bad anxiety. He had every single reason not to drive, and yet there he was. He drove fast and carelessly, he needed to reach his destination as soon as possible, feeling like every second it passed it was harder and harder to breathe.

When he saw the house, the left the car parked on the street, not very well stationed, and got off. He trotted to the small house and knocked probably too loud for the middle of the night.

It probably took only a few seconds, but it felt like ages before Jill opened the door. Chris looked at her wide-eyed. She looked stunning, she was wearing carefully applied to makeup and a beautiful dress.

“Fuck, you had a date,” Chris said, realizing only then that his voice sounded weird after crying.

“Chris?!” Jill reacted then. She had a glass of wine in his had and had seemed confused when she opened the door. It was probably too dark for her to see Chris’ sorry state. “What are you doing here? What happened?” she asked, reaching for the light switch.

“Nothing, I just… I’ll go now,” he said. That his night was a living hell didn’t mean he could just ruin Jill’s.

“Chris!” Jill said, getting a hold of his arm. She had turned on the light, but now Chris had turned so she couldn’t see his face. “Chris?”

He couldn’t take it anymore. As Jill took a step forward leaving the doorstep, Chris turned and hugged her, breaking down. Jill held him immediately, saying nothing, letting him cry and caressing his hair. He heard someone else speaking and felt Jill trying to drag him inside the house.

“Come on, we cannot stay here all night,” she said, speaking after a long moment. She made Chris let her go so she could look at him. “What happened? Are you drunk?”

Chris shook his head, looking down. Jill had taken him to her living room and pretty much made him sit on one of the couches. When Chris looked up, he saw Josh standing there awkwardly.

“Shit, Jill. I’m sorry,” he sobbed.

“Don’t you fucking worry about my date,” she ordered. Kneeling in front of him, she put her hand on Chris’ wet heated cheek. “Tell me what happened, I need to know so I can help you.”

Chris shook his head again and then buried his face in his hands.

“Can you make some coffee?” She asked Josh.

“Of course,” the man said, leaving them alone to go to the kitchen.

Jill stood, took off her heels and sat next to Chris on the couch.

“Boo, we’ve been down this road before. You know that you are going to talk to me in the end, so why don’t you spare us all that and tell me?”

“I’ve-I’m-“ Chris cleared his throat. “I’ve done something terrible, Jill.”

 


	8. What about love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this one longer because I had the ideas but suddenly it was this long and I wasn't there so I decided to update bc it's been a week or so. Enjoy. Or suffer. Whatever your poison is.

The sobbing had reduced to isolated hiccups as Chris finally calmed down. Now it was just him and Jill since Josh had offered to leave them alone. Chris felt like an asshole for that too, he had ruined Jill’s date.

“Better now?” Jill asked. She had been so patient with Chris. Always.

“I’m so sorry, Jill. I didn’t know where to go.” Chris apologized for the hundredth time.

“There will be other dates. Now tell me, what’s that bad thing you did?”

Chris felt a shiver just thinking about it. How could he explain? He took air, breathing deeply.

“I… I didn’t mean to, I just…” he needed to put his thoughts in order if he wanted to make any sense. “I fell in love with Leon,” he said bluntly.

“Oh,” Jill said she was surprised but not shocked. “So he… rejected you?”

“No, I wish. I-I-I fucking assaulted him, Jill. I thought… I misread everything, and I thought-“ His voice cracked again. This time Jill did seem shocked.

“I’m sure you didn’t-“

“He didn’t want it and I still-“ he sorbed by the nose. “I really thought he was starting to like me too, you know? He was kinda flirty and he… I thought he was jealous of Nick. I was so wrong, Jill…” Chris let his head fall against the back of the couch, looking at the ceiling. Jill mirrored him.

“What you did to Leon, you think he’ll press charges?” Jill asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Chris sobbed. “He was drunk, but so was I. I know that’s no excuse but… I just,” he shrugged. “I’m just stupid enough to fall for a straight guy.”

“Okay.”

Jill nodded a couple of times to herself, still holding Chris' hand, she hadn’t let go all night.

“Jill,” Chris called her.

“Hm?”

“Thank you,” He whispered. Jill smiled at him, gently and kissed his forehead. “I’m going to prepare a bed for you,” she said standing up. Chris was about to protest when she interrupted, “there is no way I’m leaving you alone tonight Chris.”

She left, leaving him alone with all his thoughts. Chris closed his eyes tightly, some remaining tears still falling. He must be dehydrated by then, he had cried so much.

“Okay, teddy bear,” Jill said suddenly, startling him. She wasn’t wearing the pretty dress anymore, and she had also washed her face. Had he fallen asleep? “Time for bed.”

“I think I fell asleep,” Chirs said standing clumsily. He went to the kitchen first to drink some water, he was so thirsty suddenly. Jill followed him around until he entered the guest room.

“I’ll be in my room. If you need me just come, or yell or whatever, okay?” she said standing by the door.

Chris simply nodded, sitting in the bed.

“Do you want to take something to help you sleep?” she asked. It wasn’t weird in their profession to need some chemical aid to sleep from time to time, but he was so tired suddenly he was sure he wouldn’t need any.

“No, it’s fine. Good night. And thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Jill went to her room, leaving him alone once more and Chris barely had the strength to undress and get under the covers. Once he was laying down, he abandoned himself to sleep once more.

* * *

 

Leon hadn’t barely slept all night. He spent most of the night reliving that fight. He had drunk a lot too, but not enough to get numb. Chris had tried to kiss him again. Because he had thought that after that other night Leon was interested. He was not, he was straight. Chris was just his friend. Or not anymore, probably.

He didn’t want to recognize it, but maybe he had overreacted. It was true that Chris had sucked him while they were both drunk, so it was at least dubious consent.

He had said Chris was disgusting. Those last words echoed in his mind more than the others. That and Chris’ face when Leon had said that he didn’t consent the blow job. He practically saw the man’s heart break. And the way his voice had cracked when he kicked out? Leon would not forget that in a lifetime.

Why had Chris said he had been giving signals? He had not. He was just being an ordinary male friend to another dude.

He was so confused. He was heartbroken over having said those things to Chris, he knew he had cut deep, too deep. This time no enough amount of alcohol and crying was making Chris be his friend again. Actually, did he want a friend like Chris? A friend that invited him over to take advantage of him?

But then again, was that true? That damn night it had been Leon the one to show up unannounced, as Chris had pointed out. And then last night, Leon had known that Chris had just come back from Chicago. And he had wanted to have dinner with him instead of his boyfriend. And he had prepared all Leon’s favorites. And lit some candles. And the only alcohol was the wine they had with dinner.

Chris hadn’t tried to take advantage of him. He was trying to seduce him. It all had been a romantic date set up. Leon couldn’t help an involuntary smile thinking of how cheesy Chris could be. Then the grin fell off his lips reminding himself of the outcome.

He was still lying in bed wondering if he would ever make sense of all these thoughts when his phone went off. It was still early for a Saturday, but as soon as he saw the name, he knew he was in trouble.

“Claire?” Leon said, picking up and sitting up.

"HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU CALL MY BROTHER A RAPIST YOU ASSHOLE?!" Leon took the phone away from his ear while she screamed. Had Chris told her? This was going to get nasty.

“Look, Claire, that’s not what happened,” Leon tried to explain, while she was not yelling.

"Oh please, Mr. Wine, Dine, and Bang every woman I meet. What the fuck were you even doing with him anyway? Don't you have an Ada to stalk or something?" Claire said bitterly. She was mad, furious. Leon had never seen her or heard her this angry.

“Claire, please, listen,” he tried again.

“Leon, why did you have to play with him like this? If you are bored just go fuck some woman from some bar, but don’t drag my brother into it. He’s had more than enough without you fucking with him and calling him- calling him a monster,” Leon heard the younger’s Redfield emotion in her voice. He hadn’t hurt just Chris. Claire was not just mad, she was hurt too.

“Claire, he’s my frien-“

“No, he’s not. Not anymore. Don’t ever call him again. Or me. And don’t even bother showing up for the party next week. I should have known better than to invite you.”

Leon didn’t know what to say, she was no listening.

“May I speak?” he asked.

“I’m not interested in whatever you have to say, Leon,” she hung up after that, but Leon remained with the phone to his ear a few more seconds. What had just happened?

At that moment, after Claire, who he’d call one of his closest friends had just hung up on him, Leon realized he was completely alone. He wanted someone to comfort him, but the person he needed was not available anymore, nor would be it ever again.

It was kind of ironic. Whenever Leon was down, Chris would ask no questions and do his best to cheer him up. Now he needed him and still the person he trusted so much to allow himself to be vulnerable was the one causing him all this distress.

He decided it was time to get out of bed and maybe do something productive or get busy. Maybe that way he’d stop thinking about this whole mess. He walked around his apartment while Munchkin watched his every move. Leon could almost feel the cat judging him.

“It’s not my fault, okay? I didn’t ask for this and sure as hell didn’t lead him. He just… he just wanted it and took it. You know I don’t like dudes, so don’t look at me like that,” he reprimanded the cat.

God, he was now talking to the cat. That made him feel lonelier and more miserable if possible. At least he managed to get himself busy for hours cleaning the house, looking for his winter clothes, and also buying some groceries. He had gotten so used to just show up at Chris’ and get a great homemade meal he had forgotten that he could cook in his own place. Not that whatever he made was going to be as good as all those fancy things Chris used to cook. Did he just cook those things to impress Leon?

The blonde was putting away his groceries and inevitably went back to the topic. He was going through their whole friendship, trying to figure out what happened and when did it change. It all had started when Chris had passed him the information about Ada. Chris didn’t have to do that, but he did it anyway for him. And then met him for drinks to simply be a shoulder to cry on for Leon.

After that, all Leon had done was take. He had taken Chris out of his first date with Nick just because he was scared, and Chris even offered to stay the night. And then he kissed him.

It felt like that had happened years ago. Chris had been like this the whole time? He didn’t want to go there, he had been doing everything and anything not to relive that one night but his mind went there inevitably.

He remembered Chris getting closer. Leon had just said he was lonely and hadn’t gotten laid for a while. And again, Chris just gave Leon everything he had. He remembered flashes of it all. Chris looking at him straight in the eye before going any further. He was kneeling in front of him and was about to pull down his boxers, but he looked at Leon first. Like he was asking for permission.

He might haven’t said it out loud, but Chris had asked. Had given Leon time to stop him and somehow Leon was sure that if he had said anything, Chris would have stopped immediately. He knew the older man enough to know that. Chris had only gone down on him because he had thought it was welcome. He thought Leon had genuinely wanted it. Because Chris thought Leon had been giving him signals.

He could only imagine now how Chris must have felt last night. He had prepared a romantic dinner for him, bought some fancy wine and been the perfect date. And Leon hadn’t fucking seen it until it was too late. Maybe those were the signs? Had he not seen Chris attempts to – to what? Chris had a boyfriend, and yet he always would meet Leon first, or change his plans for him.

Leon had to admit he was flattered but still didn’t get it, why would Chris fall for him when he had all the gay men in the world to choose from? Then he remembered Chris telling him that most men didn’t like him like that. That he just wanted some guy to love him back and be with him. It seemed something so easy to achieve and yet, Chris was unable to get that. It wasn’t fair.

The rest of his weekend was in that same line. He thinking and rethinking every single interaction, every time Chris had been there for him, the fact that he always smiled so much with him, and sometimes even blushed. It was suddenly evident somehow. Sadly, that didn’t make it any less confusing for him. He still didn’t know how to proceed, or what to do. He did know something, and that was that he needed to see Chris and talk to him.

On Monday he felt like he had been run over by a train. He hadn’t slept much over the weekend, and he hadn’t talked to anybody since he saw Chris, besides the cat, but that shouldn’t count.

He wasn’t in a very good mood, and arriving at the office and seeing subtle and not so subtle looks and whispers didn’t make it any better. He walked through the office, perfectly aware of the people staring and made his way to the break room to get some coffee. While the machine served the hot, black coffee, Sherry showed up. She seemed awkward when she greeted him.

“So, any idea what’s all that gossip about?” Leon asked. She was leaning on the countertop next to him, looking at her hands.

“Someone heard from someone else in the BSAA what happened,” she said. Leon didn’t know what that meant, but the mention of the organization couldn’t be any good.

“What do you mean?”

“Leon, I love you, and I’m always on your side, okay? But this… did Chris really-?”

“What?!?” How could it be? How did Sherry know? How did anyone know? Had Chris just gone around telling the story? No, he wouldn’t do that. Had it been Claire then? Why would they spread rumors that could hurt Chris’ career so much?

“People are talking. They are saying you are lying about it,” She explained. She looked pained. She loved Leon like he was family, but Leon knew that she respected and admired Chris as well.

“It’s not true. Technically. Where did you hear that anyway? What’s wrong with people?!” Leon saw two administrative clerks peeking by the door, “Don’t you have anything better to do than gossiping about people’s lives?!” He yelled at them, making them run away.

“Shh! You are making it worse!” Sherry told him.

“What are people saying exactly?”

“That you made it all up. They are actually saying that you guys… well, and then you… like regretted it and made that up to blame it on him?” Sherry said, probably unsure of how to explain it to Leon.

“What? How? How do they know any of that? It’s not even true!”

“So Chris didn’t-?

“No, I’ve never done anything like that with him,” Leon lied. He thought it’d be better and easier to explain this way.

“Then why did you say that?”

“How does anyone know what the fuck I said when I was alone with Chris? Because I’m pretty sure he didn’t tell anyone.”

“I heard it from Claire, to be honest… She’s livid,” Sherry admitted finally. So probably the people in the office didn’t know all that much.

“Yeah, I had a taste. Probably the last one actually. She basically told me not to contact her or Chris ever again.”

“So what are you going to do? You have to fix this,” Leon was asking himself the same question when Helena joined them, hoping to get some coffee too.

“Oh, hey,” she said awkwardly.

“Oh you heard about it too, didn’t you?”

“Well, every woman in this office wanted to bang Captain Redfield, the news spread like fire, and you are officially the antichrist,” Helena being helpful as usual, Leon thought. He groaned, finally taking his coffee from the machine to allow Helena to use it. “Look, I know that the rumors and whispers are mostly bullshit and that you probably didn’t do or say most of what’s being talked of.”

“Thanks,” Leon said sincerely but too soon.

"It's possible that you're at least bi. If you like men, just admit it. Don't make up some shit about being raped or any of that,” she said while pushing the buttons to get her coffee fix. Leon knew this was going to be his friends’ approach. He appreciated the understanding and acceptance, but there was nothing to accept.

"I'm not..." Leon huffed in frustration, "I'm not bi, I'm not gay..."

Helena just gave him this side glance of disbelief, and she didn’t need to say the ‘Uh huh, yeah, okay’ aloud for Leon and sherry to hear it. The brunette added some cream and sugar to her coffee and stayed there just looking at Leon. Sherry was awfully quiet too.

"You're in denial. Maybe if you hadn't been so busy chasing and getting to know Ada, you could have had more time to figure yourself out." Helena said.

“We all got one or two nights when you left messages about Ada Wong being drunk as fuck,” Sherry reminded them. Now she joins the conversation? Traitor.

“Well, Ada is long forgotten now, okay? That part of my life is over.”

“Yeah, but who was there when it ended?” Sherry asked. Leon remained silent.

“It is fine if you like him that way, he’s hot. And he’s probably the nicest fucking guy I’ve ever met,” Helena offered with a sympathetic smile.

“That’s all great, but I don’t like him that way,” he said, sentencing the conversation and leaving the break room with his coffee. He was done explaining himself, he had done nothing wrong and was being treated like he was the one to blame. He wasn’t sure anymore that Chris was to blame, but it wasn’t fair that he was being treated like that.

He was almost reaching his desk when he heard several guys talking about him and not bothering to be discreet.  He was unlocking his door when one of them spoke louder as if it was meant for Leon’s ears.

“He should be ashamed. First for messing with Redfield and second for throwing false accusations like that. He should be in jail.” Leon turned immediately. The guy had the guts to even look at him while he spoke.

“Were you talking about me?” Leon said, approaching the guy slowly. This was going t end badly, but Leon was too upset for too many reasons.

“Why? I didn’t have your consent to s-“ he couldn’t finish that word because of Leon’s fist impacting against his face. Leon tried to punch him again, but all the other guys around held him to avoid it. Soon there was a crowd around them, and Leon was called to his superior’s office then and there.

He cursed to himself all the way up in the elevator. He was just too overwhelmed with so many thoughts and feelings he had lost it with that asshole. He wasn’t a hotheaded brat anymore. As soon as the elevator stopped, he left it and walked towards Hunnigan’s office. He had been so glad for her when they appointed her to be the new head of the department, she sure deserved it. The problem was that she was Leon’s boss now.

“Come on in,” he heard her through the door. Leon walked in and went to sit in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

“Hey,” he said. He felt ashamed of his actions, and on top of that, his hand was throbbing now and starting to hurt.

“Good morning Leon. I understand you are going through a hard time,” she said, “but you cannot let that interfere with your job, and much less let happen something like this.”

“Hunnigan, every single person in this office is talking about me, and my private life. That guy said I should be in jail and he has no fucking idea what he’s talking about.”

“I understand that you are under so much pressure right now. That’s why I suggest you take a few days off,” it didn’t sound like an order or like he didn’t have a choice.

“Are you sending me home?”

“No, but sending you home and pretending you are suspended for a week would make being your friend and your boss so much easier on me,” the woman confessed. Leon didn´t want to make things harder on anyone, so he nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go. When should I be back?”

“Next Monday, I think that a week off might help you clear your mind and maybe try to sort out some of those issues.”

“You heard about it too, didn’t you?” Leon asked resigned.

“Yeah. For what’s worth, I call bullshit on everything but Chris being into men. I’d believe that.”

“You are in touch with BSAA at all times, what did you hear?”

“Leon…” she tried, it was obviously uncomfortable for her.

“Please?”

“Redfield didn’t show up today. He doesn’t usually call in sick but did today. People started talking immediately and somehow, someone got a hold of the rumor. I don’t know how they got your name in the mix, but what people are saying over there is that Chris has left town. There are all kind of ridiculous stories like he fleed in case you sue him or that you were secretly dating but you didn’t want to come out-“

“That’s not true!” Leon protested. “We were just friends. He’s my best friend,” Leon lamented. “And nothing happened. We just fought. And now everybody and their fucking cousins have a say on it.”

“More reasons to go home. Maybe you should take a small vacation, go somewhere. Sometimes going away helps.”

Leon left Hunnigan’s office after promising to look mad for “being suspended” and then left the building.

He had barely started the week, and he was already fucked up. At least he didn’t have to worry about work and Chris at the same time. Since he had the time, he thought that maybe he could try and reach the man. Would it be too weird to send him a text?

He went back home and got comfortable on the couch. Munchkin seemed confused to see him home during the day and also seemed offended that Leon was taking the sofa.

Forty minutes after the third text he decided to call. He could only text and wait for so long. Chris phone was off. Like very off. Maybe he had turned it off after Leon texted? Was he that mad? What if it was an emergency? Leon turned around on the couch, lying facedown now.

“What should I do, Munchie?” the feline opened his eyes to look at him, only to close them again and ignore him. “You are disloyal.”

You can only torture yourself and dwell on things so much, so Leon gave up and turned on his tv. He decided to check the catalog of his streaming service, there should be something that matched his mood. While browsing, he saw that stupid romantic comedy he had watched with Chris at his place the night Chris had gone down on him. He remembered how much they laughed while watching and how Chris had said that it looked like a perfect date for him. It was true that Chris wanted simple things, his ideal night was mac&cheese, two bottles of wine, a silly rom-com and the right person. Leon had not been that person for Chris, not that night nor any other.

For some reason that escaped him, he clicked it. And then proceeded to watch the movie. It was infinitely worse without Chris. But he still watched it. Every single cliché he had mentioned the other night was there. The lies, the accidentally falling in love, the confusions and misunderstandings, the angst, and in the end, a big gesture and the reconciliation.

If only life was that easy.

Leon was suddenly running downstairs and leaving a building, he was in a terrible hurry and needed to reach his destination before it was too late. He could feel sweat running down his temples and neck as he ran through the streets. Then he arrived. He didn’t know exactly where he was, but he knew the building, it was Chris’ building. Why was he here again?

He tried to take the elevator, but as much as he pressed the button, the damn thing would not open. What a moment for it to be broken. He always had the stairs.

He felt like he had been running upstairs for so long and suddenly he reached Chris door. He was right there, in front of the closed door and wondering why was he here? What did he want to say? He was about to knock, but the door opened suddenly.

“Leon?!” Chris exclaimed, obviously surprised, “What are you doing here?”

“I…-“ what did he want to say? He didn’t know! This was a mess. Why was it so hot in there? “I- I’m just a boy, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love him,” Leon heard himself say. Chris frowned.

“What?” Chris asked. Yeah, no, it didn’t make any fucking sense.

“Chris, you’re the first boy I ever kissed, and I want you to be the last,” Leon said then. That made even less sense! But somehow worked. Chris expression changed.

“What do you mean?”

“Can I come in?” He was drenched in sweat by now and getting hotter and hotter by the minute.

“Okay.”

He followed Chris inside, and the elder closed the door behind him. There was something weird in Chris’ apartment, like, the colors were not right. He didn’t have time for that though, so he turned towards the other man, who was casually leaning against the closed door.

“Chirs, I’m so sorry about-“

“Did you mean what you said outside?” Chris interrupted him. Did he?

“Yes.”

Chris nodded slowly, moving away from the door and walking towards Leon oh so slowly. Leon had never realized how hot it actually was to watch Chris doing something as simple as walking. The look in the older’s eyes was a predatory one, but for once Leon wasn’t scared. He knew what Chris wanted from him, and he was ready to surrender.

The kiss came to fast. He hadn’t had time to prepare before Chris assaulted his mouth. It felt weird, and he felt even hotter. Chris would mumble words Leon couldn’t understand, but what he did understand was Chris hand inside his pants. The elder wasn’t wasting any time, and he pushed Leon towards the couch. Leon fell on the sofa, and Chris followed him, reaching for his belt and the buttons on his jeans. Leon was hard. He was hard because Chris was about to suck him again. But something felt off, like he felt too lightheaded.

“Leon? Do you want this?” Chris asked, making the blonde look down. Chris was kneeling between his legs, just like the other time. And this time he asked explicitly.

“Of course,” Leon tried to reassure him, caressing his cheek. It was a weird feeling with Chris beard, but he liked it.

As soon as he had his permission, Chris took Leon in his mouth. Right after it was over. Leon felt his own release but suddenly opened his eyes, finding himself alone in his living room and with a mess in his underwear.

He looked around, confused and disoriented. What the hell did just happened? He sat up, trying to make sense of it all. He was covered in sweat, even his clothes were humid. The tv was still playing romantic movies, and he was in his apartment, alone.

He had just had a wet dream involving Chris and had come in his boxers like a teenager.

What did that mean? And what was he supposed to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We don't deserve 80s music.
> 
> And yeah, if you are wondering and you guessed, yeah, indeed my dude, that was Notting Hill and Sweet Home Alabama. Why? Because those are two of the cheesiest lines ever written for a movie. (says me who has no fucking idea of anything)


	9. Cold as ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays, life got in the middle.

Chris had been doing a bit better since he had left the city. The cabin in the woods was quiet and isolated and just what he needed, especially since the rumor had spread in the HQ. It all had been an accident, Jill and Barry had been discussing it all, and some cadet had heard some of the conversations and drawn their own conclusions.

After that, he hadn’t been able to deal with his heartache and the gossip and the drama too, and he had bailed. Jill and Barry were okay with him not showing up for work, but they didn’t approve of his little trip. That was also the main reason he hadn’t tell Claire he was leaving town. All his friends insisted that he shouldn’t be alone, but he needed it.

Long story short, there he was, enjoying some peace and quiet in a cabin, catching up with some books, going fishing and clearing his mind.

In retrospective, things looked terrible, but it didn’t seem the end of the world anymore. He was still deeply hurt and was still haunted by Leon’s worlds, but he was aware that he had been drunk, as much as Leon, and even if he had assaulted the younger man, there was nothing else he could do. He had made up his mind, he’d contact Leon one last time to apologize and test the waters in case he wanted to press charges. He doubted it, but Jill insisted he should find a lawyer just in case.

So now there he was, sitting on the porch of the cabin, reading his book and enjoying a cold beer. He wasn’t completely sure that given his record he should be alone and drinking alone, but he didn’t care that much.

He lifted his eyes from the book once more to look at the gorgeous surroundings. Fall was starting to set in, and the weather was chilly but not too cold to stay inside all day. The cabin was half a mile away from the main road that led to the area. Chris was loving it there, making a fire, cooking the fish he himself had fished, going for walks by the lake and basically enjoying the quietness of being away from the city. He liked his life, but wouldn’t mind come and hide from time to time.

He waited until the sunset, looking form the porch how the sun started hiding behind the mountains creating blinding reflections in the lake. This was one of those moments he’d love to share with a special someone. He couldn’t help a lopsided smile, imagining Leon calling him a cheese ball for this. He guessed it was true, though. Maybe that was the reason he was still single. Or sort of, he still had Nick on the back burner he guessed. But what if he heard about Chris and Leon? Or what if he didn’t? Should he tell him? Chris knew he should tell him, but that would most likely sabotage whatever they had. On the other hand, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Nick never knew about it and they remained together.

He was well aware that after this, he would have to cut all ties with Leon for good and never look back anyway. His brain knew it, but his heart didn’t want to listen and still had hope for some unknown reason.

Didn’t matter, though, Chris had made up his mind, and once he was back, he’ll contact Leon one las time to end anything and everything between them. He’ll delete his phone number, email or any other way to reach him and try to live his life pretending Leon didn’t live in the same city. It shouldn’t be too hard, right?

 

It was getting too dark now, so discarding those thoughts, Chris went back inside and left his book on the table and threw away the empty bottle. It was dinner time, he guessed.

He fished for his phone on his pocket and turned on some music while he cooked. He had disabled wifi and data so he wouldn’t be reached by anyone and only Rebecca had the number for the landline in the cabin so only she could contact him and only if he was in the house.

Besides landline, or maybe because of it, the cabin also had internet and tv, and even though Chris had thought at first that it was a waste and that he wouldn’t use none, he had ended up watching some tv or streaming at night. For now, his 80s music was more than enough, even if it reminded him of Leon, or made his heart ache by describing exactly how he felt. That made him feel miserable and miss those short moments of happiness.

That night, just like the night before, and the previous one, he went to bed and laid awake for a while until he couldn’t take it anymore. Then he cried, sobbed, holding a pillow against his face, like he wanted to remain as quiet as possible even though he was utterly alone in the middle of nowhere.

Whenever there were no more tears to cry, he’d be exhausted and fall asleep, telling himself over and over that, tomorrow would be a new day.

 

* * *

 

Monday wasn’t much better for Leon. He had spent the whole day after that wet dream haunted by the meaning of it. He didn’t know what to do with himself, he had way too much nervous energy to stay put, so he kept pacing and rearranging furniture or the kitchen, he even worked out.

The evening seemed endless that day, and he hadn’t gotten any response from Chris, not to the texts nor the call. He was hurt even though he knew Chris probably didn’t want to see him again. It was going to be a really long week.

That day he went to bed skipping dinner, he felt still dizzy. He was feeling a little sick after everything that had happened lately and what bothered him the most is that it had affected his job.

The next day was even worse. He woke up after having another vivid dream where he and Chris were in Chris’ place watching tv and then things got frisky. He was again sweating and dizzy after the dream, so he took a shower hoping it would help to wash away the confusing feelings the dreams have brought.

After the shower, he felt slightly better, so he prepared some coffee and toast. While he had breakfast, he decided to call Sherry to check on her.

“Hey,” she said awkwardly. That couldn’t be good.

“What’s wrong?” Leon asked, skipping the greetings.

“Nothing,” Sherry lied.

“Sherry…?”

“Oh, come on, Leon, don’t do this to me,” she begged.

“I’ll call Helena, she’s heartless and will tell me,” Leon said. It was probably true anyway.

“Okay, jeez, you are as heartless as her!” Sherry exclaimed. There was a very tense silence right after. “I didn’t mean-“

“It’s fine, Sher, I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

“So… what do you want to know?”

“Are people still talking about me?” Leon asked, moving to the couch. Munchkin was napping there again and was disturbed by Leon’s movements, so he stood and walked to the other end of the sofa, as far from Leon as possible.

“Yeah…” Sherry mumbled but didn’t elaborate.

“And?” He could hear movement in the background and then a door closing.

“Okay, I’ll tell you, but remember that you asked.”

“Alright,” Leon said, wondering if it was a good idea after all to ask. He was going to find out anyway, but maybe it was a good idea to wait.

“The BSAA called off the deal for the new contract. Graham told us this morning. Not like we knew much but apparently they are… upset? Like they want to wait until things are not so…”

“Wait, this is about Chris and me?! That’s a fucking personal matter, how can-“

“Leon, this is not just some desk job,” Sherry interrupted him bitterly. “You are not just some agent, you cannot go around doing whatever you want in your private life. You are a government asset, and I know it sucks, god knows I know.” Sherry said. She was upset, Leon realized.

“You blame me too,” Leon said. It was not a question.

“It’s not that Leon. But… It’s definitely a really shitty timing to go and call the BSAA golden boy a rapist. I’m not saying that you should stay quiet if Chris… hurt you or whatever, but if he didn’t… People in the office is straight up blaming you for losing this opportunity. And they talking even more trash than yesterday.” Sherry’s words were like daggers, he felt so cold suddenly. “Leon? You still there?”

“Yeah,” he managed to say.

“I’m sorry but… you asked. Maybe you should look into working from home for a few weeks, at least until things calm a bit.”

“Right, of course. That makes sense,” Leon said, quickly agreed. He wanted to hang up already.

“Leon… it’s gonna be okay,” Sherry tried.

“I’m gonna call Hunnigan. We’ll talk later,” he said right before hanging up, not letting Sherry say anything else.

He fucked up...he fucked up royally, and now it could cost him his job, especially if it ruined their one chance at a joint contract with the BSAA. Graham would surely have his ass for this. He was mentally preparing to make that call when his phone vibrated in his hand. For a split second he hoped it was Chris, but of course, it wasn’t. Hunnigan’s name showed up on his screen instead.

“Hi,” Leon said picking up.

“Good morning, Leon. How are you feeling today?”

“I just talked to Sherry,” he said. The pause before she talked again spoke volumes to Leon.

“Look, things are bad. I don’t know what she told you, but-“

“Did the BSAA really backed off of the Bioterrorism alliance because of gossip?” Leon asked incredulously.

“It’s not that easy. Chris was the point of contact between them and us, and know people are calling him a rapist.”

“Wait, what? I thought everybody was saying I was a liar.”

“There is a bit of everything, Leon. But the point is that the BSAA won’t deal with us after one of our own damaged their image. I know it’s not fair and that it’s your private life, but things have gone out of hand with all the gossip and all the people talking.”

“That’s on them, it was the BSAA who filtered the whole thing!” Leon yelled, startling the cat. He felt so helpless.

“Leon, I’m on your side, okay?” Hunnigan told him. She sounded afflicted. She probably was dealing with all the backlash on her own because of him.

“I’m sorry, I’m just… it’s not fair.”

“Well, you are secret service, I hate to say it, but you need to be more careful of what you do, even when you are not at work, especially if you are hanging out with other agencies’ personnel. One thing is having coworkers talking about you being rude or a fuckboy but if your actions affect professional relationships… imagine that you called the president asshole while on your day off. It would have consequences even if you were off the clock.”

“I understand Hunnigan, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Am I even going back to work? Ever?”

“Don’t be dramatic, Leon,” she said.

“Excuse me?” he asked, offended. He was not overreacting.

“Graham wouldn’t fire you for this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s livid, but it’s also on the BSAA. He did recommend to have you working from home next week if things aren’t looking better.

“Great. More isolation,” Leon said more to himself.

“We can pay a visit later this week, so you don’t feel lonely?” She offered.

“Sure,” he said not hiding the lack of enthusiasm.

“I’ll call you back on Monday, okay? Stay put and… don’t get anyone else mad,” Hunnigan joked.

“Cannot promise anything…” They said goodbye, and once the call was over, Leon sank even further on in the couch.

What now? His whole life was a mess because of something he had said in private and in the heat of the moment. He needed to talk to Chris immediately, but he was sure his phone would be still off. He tried anyway, but the result was the expected.

Afterward, he tried Jill Valentine. Chris had told him Jill, and he was very close, even after their failed relationship. He thought he could use the call to try to find out how to reach Chris and also to try to talk some sense into the BSAA regarding the agreement with his agency. He had to be very careful with his words though.

Jill’s phone was on, but Leon was sent to the voicemail time and time again. He wasn’t giving up, not without a fight. After the fifth attempt, Jill picked up.

“You have some nerve, Kennedy,” Jill said harshly. Not that Leon expected a formal greeting.

“Hi, Jill,” Leon responded. He tried to be calm and collected, but the truth was that he was freaking out a bit. “I wanted to ask you-“

“You are in no position to request anything from me,” she said.

“Don’t call off the whole thing with the DSO because of me. It was going to be a very helpful collaboration.”

“What makes you think I have the power to decide?” Did that mean that it had been Chris the one to call it off?

“I just think that this is worth a shot, and yeah I fucked up, but I wasn’t the one to go and spread the rumor.”

“Oh, so you called me to blame it on someone else? It was you the one to accuse Chris of raping you, so that’s on you. Don't you know there are real victims afraid of telling the truth because of assholes like you?!" Jill’s tone was harsh, and her words cut deep.

“I know, that. Believe me, I’m paying for that. I might lose my job.”

“I’m not going to pity you, Kennedy. But you are right about the deal. Keep in mind that it might require your resignation. The BSAA is not letting this go.”

“The BSAA or Chris?”

“Chris has nothing to do with this. He’s not even in town. Hell, he’ll probably get mad if he hears about this. He was even thrilled about this because you’d work together.” Jill said. It sounded like she was talking to herself. “How could you do this to him, Leon?” Jill asked suddenly. Her tone changed so much. This wasn’t Captain Valentine now, this was Chris’ best friend.

“I freaked out. I-I-I don’t know. I heard some people think he…?” He couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Most of the people on base knows him enough to call bullshit. About you on the other hand…”

“Yeah, I know about that,” Leon said sighing. “Can I speak to Chris? How can I reach him?”

“No. You can’t. You think you can just call me and say that you want to talk to him?”

“Jill, please. I need to-“

“You’ve done enough, Leon. He was a fucking mess when he showed up at my house on Friday night. He was freaking out, and he was so scared. You destroyed him and called him a monster. Just because he was stupid enough to fall in love with you!” Jill screamed. Leon didn’t realize he was crying until a tear fell down his cheek. “He wouldn’t stop calling himself a monster. What did he do to you that was so bad, Leon? Because I can’t imagine Chris hurting you,” Jill said. He tone had changed again. She’d gone from rabid to broken.

“I’m so sorry. I just need to talk to him,” Leon begged, his voice hoarse because of the lump in his throat. Jill remained silent for what seemed endless seconds.

“What do you want to tell him?”

“I want to apologize. I don’t really know, I just need to see him,” Leon tried again.

“He’s out of town,” Jill said then. She seemed on the verge of giving in.

“Please, Jill. I need to fix this. And not because of my job. Because of him. He doesn’t deserve… all this.”

“No, he doesn’t.” Now Jill was just saying the minimal amount of words.

“How can I reach him?” Leon asked again. He was going to find Chris, he had to.

“I’m going to regret this but, there is a cabin…”

 

Jill gave him only so much information as if she wanted to both help him and make him work for it. He was fine with that, he could work with what he had now. He stood up from the couch, almost falling immediately after, dizziness even clouding his sight. Once the whole whirling sensation passed, he went to get dressed. He was leaving now, he could probably be in the area Jill had mentioned in an hour or so before it went dark.

Freshly dressed and ready to leave, he stopped to pour some food on Munchie’s bowl in case he couldn’t come back before the morning came and then left.

He drove probably faster than he should, but halfway to the cabin, it started raining, like a full on storm. He had to reduce the speed to avoid having an accident, which being him, would be normal and expected. After almost an hour and a half, his GPS showed he had arrived as far as he could go by car. He had reached an old road that led to a small path in the wilderness. Lights were marking the trail, and it was apparently part of the complex the cabin belonged to, but still, Leon didn’t want to leave his car to wander under the rain. He was looking around, trying to find a clue and then he saw Chris’ Jeep parked a few feet away. The rain was so thick it was hard to see, especially through the windshield.

Well, this was why he had come here in the first place. He opened the door of his car and got off before he started running towards the Jeep. He tried to look inside for any clue but the car was empty, and it was already getting dark, and the clouds and the rain made it even harder to look around. He decided to try the track closer to Chris car, hoping that the car position indicated the right way.

He tried to run through the wet floor avoiding puddles, but it was meaningless, he was already drenched. He slipped on the mud a few times and fell, getting some cuts and grazes on his hands. He was getting cold, and he was starting to wonder what the hell he was doing in the middle of nowhere. But then he saw a cabin with the lights on.

He started running again, only to fall once more when he was reaching the porch. He was now covered in mud, head to toes, but he didn’t care that much if he had finally found Chirs. He climbed the steps to the porch and tried to look inside the cabin. He could see that the fireplace was burning and that something was cooking in the kitchen, but he couldn’t see anybody inside the house.

He knocked on the door a couple of times and then held himself, rubbing his arms with his hands. Now he had stopped running he was getting cold too fast and a shiver run down his spine. He lifted his hand to knock again when the door opened suddenly.

Chris looked at him stunned, holding the door open.

“Hi,” Leon said. He was freezing, and his words were a bit slurred by the trembling.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Chris asked, his voice devoided of emotion.

“I need to talk to you, I’m sorry. About everyhti-“

“Go home, Leon,” Chris said before closing the door right on his face. He wasn’t giving up so easily, so he knocked again. Chris didn’t bother to open and simply told him to go home again through the door.

“I’m not going anywhere! I came all the way here to talk to you so I’ll wait right here if that’s what it takes for you to listen!” Leon yelled at the door. It was raining harder now, and lightning and thunders were approaching. The temperature was going down as well, and Leon was starting to be really cold. He sat on one of the chairs and started rubbing his arms again, hoping Chris would change his mind and let him in.

He was starting to feel sick again, he was hot and cold all at once, and he felt dizzy again. He was probably tired and cold, and on top of it, he hadn’t been eating too well these days.

He stood up to try knocking again. Maybe Chris would let him in now that the storm was closer. He knocked several times, and Chris didn’t bother to even talk through the closed door this time. Leon sighed, and when he was about to turn and go back to the chair, he suddenly felt like all his energy had been drained from his body and then everything went black.

* * *

 

When he’d heard the knocking again, Chris had been surprised Leon hadn’t gone home yet. It was raining cats and dogs out there, and Leon was still waiting. He was probably freezing so it wouldn’t take long for him to go back. But then he heard a thud. Against his better judgment, Chris approached the window slowly, to look outside only to find Leon laying immobile on the porch. Was it a trick? Chris decided not to risk it and opened the door to go check on Leon. His heart was beating so fast now, worried sick about the other man. Even, after all, he still cared deeply about Leon.

He approached Leon slowly and then crouched next to him. Leon was unconscious, and his breathing seemed shallow. His first instinct was to go and turn him around, but when he was about to touch him Chris froze. What if he touched Leon and he woke up and… but he had to help him, right? He had a good reason to put his hands on the other man. Taking a deep breath he put his hand on Leon’s neck, checking his pulse. Too fast, and his breaths shallow and erratic. He couldn’t just leave Leon there, even if just looking at him was tearing him apart again. He took Leon in his arms and carried him inside. His clothes were drenched, and he was covered in mud almost head to toe, he even had some in his face. And god, Chris couldn’t stop staring now. Leon was frowning even being out, but it was still one of the most beautiful things Chris had ever seen. He let Leon down on the couch closer to the fireplace and then pushed the sofa so Leon would be closer. His skin was cold, but he had a fever. He had to have been sick before even coming because there was no way he had gotten this bad, just for waiting outside. But now that Chris thought of it, Leon might have spent close to half an hour out there, wet and cold. He carefully removed Leon’s boots, but just that. He wasn’t going risk taking any other thing. He didn’t want to give Leon the wrong ideas or scare him out again, even though Leon needed desperately to take off those wet clothes. For now, he’d have to wait till Leon woke up.

* * *

 

Leon came to suddenly, startling himself. He was damp and had a headache, but he was feeling warmer. Looking around he realized he was inside the cabin now. Chris was in the kitchen, his back turned to Leon. He was obviously cooking something and hadn’t realized Leon was awake.

“Thank you for letting me in,” Leon said from the couch. Chris turned to look at him but said nothing, going back to whatever he was doing. “I wanted to say that- that I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t really-“ a cough interrupted him and also make Chris turn around.

“There are some clothes on the couch. You can change in the bathroom.” Chris said drearily. Leon looked at the end of the couch, seeing neatly folded clothes. He stood up slowly, taking the clothes with him before going to the bathroom.

Leon got in and closed the door behind him. For a moment he wondered if Chris would think he was locking the door because of him. He was tired and didn’t feel so good, so he needed to use the little strength he had left to think positive and try to get to Chris. He undressed, realizing only then how wet and dirty his clothes were. Instead, he dressed in the clothes Chris had given him. It was one of Chris BSAA t-shirts and some comfy sweatpants, both of them too big for Leon. He had to roll the pants a few times and adjust the cords to make sure they stayed in place.

He was dry now, but still cold. He wanted to ask for a sweater or maybe a hoodie but didn’t want to test Chris patience, he was acting really cold towards him and not acknowledging his attempts to apologize. He went back to the leaving room and found Chris bringing some blankets to the sofa.

“Thanks for the clothes too, Chris,” Leon said approaching Chris, who took a step back.

“I left you some chicken soup on the coffee table, you should take some.” Leon looked at him, probably like an abandoned puppy, so Chris looked away. “You can stay here tonight, but I’m calling you a taxi tomorrow.”

“Chris,” Leon tried to get a hold of Chris' hand, but he refused, moving away again.

“Look, I don’t care what you have to say, and I have no idea of what you’re doing here. Just... don’t make it worse,” Chris said before going back to the kitchen.

Leon sighed, walking to the couch. He sat on the floor instead and tried the soup. It was delicious and tasty. He wanted to congratulate Chris for yet another great meal, but he knew Chris would probably ignore his comment.

“Chris?” Leon called. He was in front of the fire and could feel the warmth in his skin, and still, he felt cold. Chris didn’t respond. Leon looked back and saw Chris sitting on the kitchen table, reading a book. “Chris, can we please talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Chris said, not even bothering to lift his eyes from the book.

“Chris, please,” Leon pleaded.

“Just finish the soup and go to bed. I’ll take the couch for the night,” Chris cut him. He seemed annoyed. Leon had a lump on his throat. He wanted to cry. He’d never seen Chris being this cold towards him. He could have never even imagined Chris treating him like that. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but still. The way Chris used to look at him, and talk to him, and smile at him. Now it was so obvious that Chris had feelings for him, Leon had been just too stupid to see it. He missed it, and that made him feel even worse. He missed having Chris’ undivided attention even though he knew that that was precisely the problem here. Chris had wanted something Leon couldn’t give, and instead of being clear and straightforward with Chris, Leon had kept taking and taking until Chris had thought he had a chance. Ironically, the situation was the opposite now.

“I’m so sorry about what I said. I was confused, Chris. I freaked out. Please.” He said again, his voice shaking. Chris was staring at the book so intensely that Leon almost expected it to burst into blames. “I know you didn’t mean…you didn’t… You are too good a guy to hurt anyone. I know you didn’t try to take advantage of me. I understand now that you did that out of love and-“

“If you are done with dinner please go to bed already. You have a fever, and you need to rest.” Chris interrupted him again, standing up and picking up Leon’s unfinished bowl of soup.

“Chris, please,” Leon followed, grabbing Chris hand. Chris froze at the contact.

“Leon, stop. Just stop. I don’t want to hear it,” Once more, Chris didn’t even look at him. It brought tears to Leon’s eyes. This was not the man he knew. His best friend. This was someone else. He had done this to Chris. He had hurt him so badly he broke him.

“I’m sorry,” Leon sobbed. “Please, I’m sorry.”

Chris moved away making Leon’s hand fall form his.

“Go to bed now, Leon. I’ll get you a ride for tomorrow.”

Chris left him in the kitchen as he went to fix his improvised bed on the couch. Leon wanted to fight it some more, try it again, but Chris was like a brick wall. Maybe he’d be more receptive in the morning, Leon hoped. He went to the bedroom and looked around. There were only Chris’ duffel bag and a few things on the night stand. Leon sat on the bed heavily, defeated. He needed a new plan. The big gesture hadn’t work like in the movies.

Leon didn’t remember falling asleep, but he suddenly woke up to insistent knocking on the door. He had a blanket over him that he hadn’t seen the previous night. Had Chris brought it? The knocking brought him back from his thoughts. He stood quickly to go get the door but regretted it immediately when he almost fell on his ass feeling dizzy again. Once he recovered, he went to get the door, wondering where Chris was.

He opened the door and found some guy he’d never seen before.

“Hello, are you Leon?” the guy asked.

“Yeah…?”

“Oh, good, I thought I might have gotten the wrong cabin. I’m your ride back to the trail.”

“Wait, what?”

“Some Chris Redfield requested a car to pick you up earlier today,” the guy said, checking his smartphone.

“Where…?” Leon turned around. Chris was gone. He had left before he woke up. Still, Leon went back inside the cabin, looking everywhere. All Chris’ things were gone, and so was he.

For some reason, that hurt Leon even more than Chris’ silence. He felt abandoned. Biting his lip, Leon picked up his clothes from the bathroom, now clean and dry and neatly folded, and went back to the door. Thankfully the guy was still waiting.

“You ready?”

“Yeah,” Leon nodded and followed him outside to a track. The guy drove Leon through a semi-flooded path that eventually led to where he had parked his car. It wasn’t raining, but the clouds were still threatening in the sky.

They guy left Leon right next to his car, and when he was going to pay, the guy explained that the fare was already covered. Leon wasn’t surprised Chris’ jeep was gone as well. Leon sighed, he had to find a way to get to Chris. It wasn’t just a matter of having Chris forgive him. He had realized the previous night how deeply he actually cared for the other man. He wanted to be part of his life and he never ever wanted to feel that coldness from Chris. Chris was warm, cheerful and goofy at times. He would always have a kind word for him and would look at him like he just hung the moon for him. And now? Now Chris wouldn’t even look at him, wouldn’t talk to him.

He’d do anything to have those brown eyes look at him again like they used to. What was he going to do?


	10. Don't stop believing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short, I'm tired and sleepy, which also explains whatever weird typos you might find.
> 
> thanks as usual to Sparks for all the endless help.

Leon couldn’t barely drive himself home after the guy dropped him by his car. He was feeling better than the night before, but that wasn’t to say much. As soon as he got home, he went to bed and stayed there for the rest of the day.

Chris had mentioned he had a fever, and he had been right. Leon needed to rest and regain his strength, he needed to be back on his feet as soon as possible, because he wasn’t giving up on Chris, not just yet.

Unfortunately, his cold kept him bedridden longer than he expected and Leon ended up spending two whole days resting and self-medicating, and it was only by Thursday when he dared to leave the house.

To add some more drama, he could see all the news about Claire’s engagement all over his social media. They might have told him to stay away, but so far nobody had unfriended him, so he got to see the pictures, the ring, and the comments. The whole squad was talking about it, congratulating the future bride and groom, including Chris. He wanted to say something to Claire too, she had been one of his best friends since he had been a rookie that terrible night in Raccoon City, but he knew his message wouldn’t be welcome.

He sat there looking at the pictures, seeing them plan a party on Friday, to hang out and celebrate. That was so depressing. He just wanted to go there and tell them that he had made a mistake, but that he was still their friend and he loved them.

So when Friday night came, he went out, by himself. He couldn’t stand being home knowing Chris was out with Nick celebrating.

At first, he wandered, unsure of where he was going, but then he found himself in front of a gay club. There were many guys hanging out outside, some of them smoking, some making out, and others leaving with company. He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason, he decided to go in.

As soon as he crossed the door, he was overwhelmed. There were too many men inside the club, dancing and grinding and doing other things in darker corners. Leon had never seen those many shirtless men together in his whole life. He didn’t know what he expected to feel, and maybe it was all part of the confusion, and whatever was in the air, but he definitely appreciated some bodies and welcomed some attention.

So far, he was here just to look and have a few drinks, so he went straight to the bar and found himself a spot in one of the ends.

He ordered a drink, chatted with several guys whenever they showed up next to him to order more drinks and even befriended the barman. He had had 3 drinks and one shot of something pink he didn’t remember the name for when he saw him.

It was a sight for sore eyes. Tall, dark and handsome. He had a smile that would light up the darkest night and was ordering drinks. He was wearing a black t-shirt, tight and Leon could see all his muscles moving under the guy’s tanned skin.

And then Chris turned and noticed him.

* * *

After leaving Leon in that cabin, Chris had been a mess all over again. Any progress he had made back to sanity was thrown away the second he saw Leon covered in mud on his door.

He had wanted to hold Leon and keep him warm all night, and he had bitten his lip so hard that night to keep it together. He hadn’t slept at all, just thinking Leon was right there. The man he had fallen in love with and who had accused him of unspeakable things, had come all the way here for him. But what did that mean? Chris' heart was broken, and Leon’s little visit was not enough to fix it.

Once back home, he had been sulking, dwelling on it some more until he got a call from Claire on Thursday. She wouldn’t stop yelling and crying and screaming some more. She had just gotten engaged.

Which led Chris and everybody else to that moment. After a very fancy dinner, Claire had insisted on going clubbing, she wanted to celebrate. That did everything even worse for some reason. Chris was not in a very festive mood to start with, and the whole dinner and going out was making things extra weird between him and Nick. Chris didn’t know how much Nick knew, but he obviously knew something. Nick seemed to be trying to talk to him though, which Chris hoped was a good sign.

They had only arrived at the club and were ordering some drinks when Chris turned just to see Leon sitting right next to him.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Chris asked before he could stop himself.

“I-I was just having a drink,” Leon said standing immediately taking a step towards Chris.

“Here of all places? In a gay bar? In the exact gay bar I am?” Chris asked. This was ridiculous. Was Leon following him around now?

“Yeah, I just… I needed to…”

“Hey, babe, what’s taking so long?” Nick asked him showing up suddenly by his side. It surprised Chris since they had barely talked all night and suddenly he was calling him ‘babe’? “What’s he doing here?” Nick asked looking at Leon. Chris could see the blonde frown when he saw Nick, and it didn’t escape how Leon was staring at Nick’s hand on his arm.

“Chris, wait,” Leon tried, reaching for Chris with his hand.

“Ugh, you’ve done enough,” Nick said rolling his eyes. “And word of advice? This” he signaled around them, “is lame. Straight guys coming to gay clubs like it was edgy, is lame.”

He felt Nick take his hand and drag him away from Leon. He was not too happy about Nick’s attitude. He appreciated the other man was mad on his behalf but on the other hand, he had no reason to treat Leon like that.

They returned to where the others were empty-handed which raised questions immediately.

“Where are the drinks?” Claire asked.

“Well-“ Chris started, but before he could explain, Nick interrupted him.

“Leon is stalking your brother and was in the bar.”

“What?! Leon’s here?” Claire asked. She had probably drunk a little too much, and Chris was scared she’d do or say something she’d regret once she was sober.

To make it all worse, Leon had actually followed them back here and was just standing there awkwardly.

“Chris?” he called him. “Can we talk for a minute, I just-“

“Get lost, Leon. You are not welcome here,” Nick interrupted him.

“Look, this is not about you, I just need to talk to Chris,” Leon told him. Leon was evidently not fond of Nick, and the nurse’s behavior was not helping at all.

“Leon, just go home. I’m sure you have someone else to stalk. Maybe Ada Wong wants to play with you some more,” Claire said from her seat, surprising Chris and pretty much everyone else around them.

“I get it, you are all mad at me, but this is between Chris and me, I just want to talk,” Leon pleaded, saying the last part looking straight at Chris.

Chris was so confused at that moment, everyone in the group would probably tell him to tell Leon to fuck off, but the way Leon was looking at him made him want to do something, maybe just listen to whatever he had to say. Leon was getting more and more desperate with every second that passed. His eyes were getting shiny, and somehow Chris knew it was not the alcohol.

“Please?” He mumbled taking Chris’ hand. That created a commotion and all happened in one instant and yet he felt like he was watching it all in slow motion.

Claire stood, telling Leon not to touch Chris, and Sean tried to hold her. Jill and Sherry were merely looking like it all unfolded but stood immediately after the punch. Said punch came when Nick pushed Leon away from Chris, and the blonde reacted immediately, punching Nick in the face. Nick held his face, and Chris found himself holding Leon and keeping him from throwing another punch.

In the midst of the chaos and the screaming, Chris couldn’t help thinking that this was the closest he had been to Leon and that he could feel Leon’s heart beat against his own chest.

“What the fuck, Leon? Stalking was not enough?” Claire yelled. She was drunk, Chris realized, but still, this was not her usual self. She was overreacting. She might be mad at Leon, yes, but this was too much.

“Alright, calm down everybody,” Sean said, walking towards Nick to check out on him. He was bleeding, blood covering his lips and dripping from his chin. Chris was looking at the whole scene like a mere bystander, while he still held Leon close, even though he was sure there was no danger anymore. “Okay, buddy,” He told Nick, “I think we should call it a night,” he added turning for the rest of the group.

They mobilized pretty fast considering how drunk most of them were. Claire had started crying at some point and left first with Sean and Nick, not even sparing a look to Leon. After all of them left, including Sherry and Jill who stayed behind, Leon spoke.

“You can let me go now. I’m not going to go after him or anything,” only then Chris realized and let Leon go like he was on fire.

“Go home, Leon,” Chris says before turning to leave. He walks towards the exit, but he can feel the other man following him. It’s not until they are outside that Leon speaks again.

“I’m trying my best here, Chris. I just need you to listen to me,” Leon begged again. The younger man sounded broken. Chris had to use all his willpower not to turn to look at him. Taking a deep breath, Chris dared to turn.

“Yeah, sure. Look, Leon, this thing you are doing now, it’s not going to work,” he said, seeing how every word hurt Leon more and more. His expression was raw and naked, and Chris could read everything on his face. The usual serious and imperturbable Leon Kennedy was a mess in front of him. “I don’t know what the fuck’s with you!” Chris said, exasperated. They were outside now. It was cold and humid, and besides the bouncer, the only people out were those smoking and a few couples trying to find a quieter place to talk.

“Chris, I-“

“Before all this, you were all clingy, telling me you don’t want me to see Nick, that you just… and the next thing I know is that you are calling me a rapist!” Chris said, lowering the level for the last few words. “You know,” He added, defeated, “I know I fucked up. I do. And I’m sorry I did that to you without your consent.” Shit, not again. His eyes stung terribly, he was going to cry again, in front of Leon this time.

“I didn’t-“ Leon tried again.

“No, I talk, you listen,” Chris said. His voice trembled a bit. “I fucked up, and I went away, I isolated myself, and you go and show up there, in the fucking cabin. What for Leon? You cannot call me… that and then… It’s not right.” Leon remained silent looking at Chris with tears in his eyes. “I want no part in these mind games you are trying to play. This isn’t one of those TV romance dramas, this isn’t worth all the bullshit.” Chris turned once more, decided to leave this time.

He started walking but couldn’t take more than a few steps before feeling a hand holding his again. He looked at Leon’s hand holding his. Leon was fully crying now, unable to even speak.

Without sparing a second to think, Chris pulled away and kept walking, leaving Leon behind, utterly destroyed. Good, that’s exactly how he felt too.

* * *

Leon stood there watching Chris walk away. What now? He didn’t know what else could he do. He thought it was too much of a coincidence to have met them in the club, but it seemed that it hadn’t made a difference at all.

When he lost sight of Chris, he let his shoulders fall and went home. He walked for what it felt like hours, but the truth was that his apartment wasn’t that close of the club. When he got there, he knew he needed to talk to someone, but he had made a pariah of himself.

He hoped that even now in the worst of times, someone would be there for him. He let himself fall on the couch and unlocked his phone, looking for a name among his contacts.

The other person took a few seconds to pick up.

“Oh my God, Leon,” were Sherry’s words when she picked up. “What the fuck was that in the club? I mean, I want to be on your side, but you are making it hard,” she said before he had the chance to speak. He also heard voices in the background.

“Leon? It’s Helena,” he heard after some fumbling, she probably took the phone from Sherry. “Sherry just told me. Man, what the fuck? Are you going to say you are not bi and jealous of that Nick guy or what?” She asked.

“No,” Leon whispered, making Helena’s tone turn concerned. “Leon? Sherr, he’s not good,” he heard her say.

“Leon?” it was Sherry again. “Where are you?”

“I’m home.”

“Okay. Good. What happened after we left?”

“How am I going to fix it?” Leon broke down, sobbing on the phone. Sherry remained in silence until Leon was able to calm himself enough to talk.

“You have to apologize.”

“I did that, I tried, but he won’t listen!”

“Well then try harder! If this is tearing you apart as much as it seems you have to fight harder.”

“Buy… He and Nick...?” He wanted to ask but was scared of the response.

“Look, Leon, Chris is in a bad place. You hurt him very much, Claire told me. But I can tell you that he and Nick… that’s not going anywhere. He barely looked at Nick all night.”

“Go for it!” he heard Helena try to scream into the phone.

“What do you guys recommend?”

“Try once more. You shouldn’t waste any more energy on this if it really has no solution. There is only so much you can do to try to mend things. Chris has to meet you halfway, if he doesn’t, just let him go.”

“How can you be so wise?” Leon asked, making Sherry laugh.

“Because I’m drunk. Anyway, Helena and I wish you good luck. And remember, if it doesn’t work, you did your best, okay?” Leon nodded. “Call us tomorrow, we can talk some more.”

They said goodbye and Leon stayed on the couch looking at the ceiling. What was Sherry doing with Helena in the middle of the night? They were probably talking about him. But they loved him and supported him. Sherry was probably in a terrible situation, being so close to Claire and him at the same time.

He was going to do was Sherry had said, give it one last shot, if Chris refused to listed once more, no matter how much it hurt, he’d give up.

A paw on his face woke him up suddenly. Munchkin was sitting next to his head on the couch and pretty much slapping him with his little paw.

“What the fuck, Munchie?” Leon asked the cat, as he sat up. He felt like shit. Again. He wasn’t completely recovered from his cold, and now he also had a mild hangover. He remembered the previous night and then felt even worse. He stood and took some ibuprofen for his headache and then a shower to get rid of the smell of alcohol. Too bad they didn’t make pills for the heartache, he thought as he got into the shower.

He meditated under the warm water for long minutes, deciding to get this whole thing done with as soon as possible, for both him and Chris. They both should move in as soon as possible, but he needed to give it one more chance. He thought he saw Chris hesitate the night before, and he had held him longer than it was necessary. Maybe he was about to give in. He hoped so at least.

Once out of the shower, Leon dressed up and feed the cat, who was looking at him from the counter.

“I have to go now,” he told the cat while he put on his jacket. “Wish me luck.”

The cat did nothing but stare. Leon rolled his eyes and left.

As he drove he tried to memorize some sort of speech, find the right words, the ones that expressed all he needed to say. He should have written this down, he cursed himself. He arrived at Chris’ place too soon. As he rode the elevator, all kind of doubts assaulted him. What if he wasn’t home? What if he had spent the night with Nick? What if Nick was with him now? He suddenly checked the time on his phone and saw that it was way too early for a Saturday morning and was about to go back home, but when the elevator doors opened, he decided to try.

He found himself in front of Chris’ door, just like in that dream he had had only a few days ago, and knocked a few times. He heard the unmistakable noise of a sleepy Chris taking himself to the door. The door opened, and a still sleepy Chris looked at him for a second before realizing.

“What the fuck now?” the older man asked rolling his eyes.

“Listen,” Chris was about to close the door on his face but Leon slipped his foot between the door and the frame, forbidding Chris from doing so. “Just listen to me this one time. If you don’t change your mind, I won’t bother you ever again.”

Chris looked slightly interested and crossed his arms, now leaning on the door frame. Good, now he had his attention, the only problem was that he had no idea of what to say now.

“I’m-I’m sorry for what I said. I don’t feel like that. It’s not true. I was just scared. You are too good a guy to do something like that,” he said. Chris' face gave away nothing. His facial expression was nonexistent. “I never deserved you as a friend. Much less as something else. I see now… I know it’s too late, but I realize now that I was jealous all along whenever you were with Nick. And I’m sorry it took me this long to realize but… but in my defense, you had your whole life to figure out how you felt about men and I had just like, what? A few weeks?” Chris stoic expression remained unchanged. None of all he had just said had made the other man bat an eye. “Jesus Christ Chris, what do I have to do for you to fucking talk to me?” He expected more silence, so he was shocked when Chris responded.

“Blow me,” the older man said, completely serious. Leon contemplated this for a second or less, before dropping to his knees then and there. He had no idea of what the fuck he was going to do. He had never done this before, but he imagined it made sense for Chris to ask for this after all. Before he had time to do anything Chris’ crotch, he held Leon’s head in place with a gentle grip on his hair, “uh-uh, you are going to have to work for it, like I did,” Chris responded with the closest thing to a smile Leon had seen in what felt like forever.

Leon froze. What was happening just now? Did Chris just give in?

“And for fuck sake, stand up. My neighbors don’t need to see you kneeling on my door…” he said, offering Leon a hand to stand. Leon took it and raised but didn’t let go of his hand.

“So…?”

“So… You are going to work for it.” Chris conceded. That right there was a smile. Leon smiled back.

“Really?”

“What? Want me to change my mind?” Chris asked, joking.

“No!! I just… You won’t regret it,” Leon assured, before realizing he had no idea of what he was supposed to do now. “So what do you want me to do now?”

“What do I…? Dude, just… let’s do the old-fashioned dating,” Chris said blushing as if it was obvious.”

“Oh, of course, yeah, We can do that,” Leon said more to himself than to Chris. “Are you busy now?” Leon asked. This was so confusing. His heart was beating so fast, and so hard he was surprised Chris didn't hear it too. Chris had accepted his apology? Did he agree to date him? It was a bit cryptic, but he had smiled, that had to be good, right?

“Well, actually, yeah. Claire is a bit of a mess, and I was going to come over to check on her,” Chris said. He was such a good guy.

“Of course. Yeah.”

“But I should be free tonight…”

“Oh. I can… maybe pick you up? Go have dinner?”

“Sure,” Chris said, clearly trying to sound cool about it, but Leon saw the excitement in his eyes and that gave him confidence.

“Okay. I’ll pick you up at seven. Be ready Redfield. And please don’t change your mind,” He said before walking back to the elevator. Chris didn’t go back inside until the elevator doors closed.

Leon leaned agains one of the lift walls, taking it all in. Chris wanted a date. He was taking Chris on a date. How had that happened? Why had Chris given in that easily?

He shook his head, he shouldn’t think of that. Chris was giving him a chance, and he had to make the most of it and show Chris he was serious about his feelings, now the question was where the hell was he going to take Chris for dinner?


	11. Any way you want it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thanks for reading, sorry for the typos and super special thanks to Sparkie96 for putting up with me all day.

Chris closed the door, still confused and only half-awake. What the hell did just happen? Leon was here. He came to see him again. It was clear by now that the blonde was serious about this. This time though, his words had hit Chris when he had said he’d never see him again if Chris’ response didn’t change.

It hadn’t felt like an ultimatum or something like that. More like one last desperate attempt to win him back.

He hadn’t been ready to face Leon that early in the morning, especially after how things had ended the night before. He hadn’t expected Leon to show up at all. He suddenly couldn’t contain a silly smile, Leon and he were going out that night. He had a date with Leon. And it was the other man who sort of asked him out.

Since he was already awake, he decided to get some breakfast. He had barely time to open the fridge and get a couple of eggs when he heard knocking on the door. He bit his bottom lip trying not to smile. Could it be Leon again?

Chris opened the door about to ask the blonde if he had forgotten something when instead he found his sister.

“We need to talk about Leon,” she said skipping any kind of greetings.

“Claire?” Chris replied, surprised. He didn’t expect his sister, not yet. He was actually supposed to visit her, “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? He punched Nick in the face last night Chris! Whatever you do, stay away from him,” Claire ordered.

“Look, Claire, I appreciate your concern, but I can make my own decisions.”

“What is that supposed to mean? You are still chasing him!? After all, he’s done?” Claire asked raising her voice.

“It is none of your business, Claire,” Chris tried to defend himself.

“It’s not-!? Chris this whole thing going on with Leon is affecting us all! Nick came home with Sean and me last night and wouldn’t stop crying over you, because even when Leon punched him you stood by him, and basically ignored Nick. He was just trying to help you. I never expected you to be so selfish. You are not like this Chris.”

“Is Nick okay?” Chris asked, now feeling guilty and terrible about the whole situation. Claire was right, he was being selfish, ignoring Nick’s feelings whenever it was more convenient for him.

“No, Chris. He’s not. He thought you guys had something going on, only to hear that you raped Leon and then you simply ignored him. He is devastated. And think that most men wouldn’t put up with all your shit. But he did. He’s trying.”

“I’m sorry, Claire. I’m just…”

“You just what? You just don’t care enough about other people’s feelings? What will happen when Ada Wong wants him back? He’ll forget about you. He’s only clingy because he’s alone, he pushed everyone else away Chris. That’s the only reason he-“

“Jesus Christ, Claire, why do you care so much!? One thing is trying to set me up with Nick but this conversation… you are ordering me to have a relationship with a man I don’t love and why? Because it’s convenient for you?”

“No, asshole! Because it’s convenient for _You_ , it’s your only fucking chance of not ending up heartbroken and alone, Chris. No one else wants you,” Those words cut too deep. So deep both of them remained quiet a few seconds, and Claire brought her hand to her mouth like she couldn’t believe she had said that.

“You might be right,” Chris admitted, “I’m sorry that I’m not good enough for anybody. I’m sorry I didn’t find myself a rich doctor who was crazy about me. I’m sorry that the fact that no one will ever-“

“Chris-“

“No, I’m sorry that my incapacity to find someone who can love me back is so inconvenient for you Claire. For what’s worth, it’s inconvenient for me too,” Chris said. He was deeply hurt and angry, and Claire had deflated and was now looking a bit miserable.

“I didn’t mean that,” she said.

“No, you did. And you are not wrong.”

“Yes, I am Chris, of course, I am.”

“Look, whatever you came to say, say it and leave. I’m not in the mood for this right now. I don’t want to fight.”

“Chris, I’m sorry, okay?”

“I don’t care you are sorry, Claire. Is there anything else you need to tell me? Nick is broken-hearted, duly noted. So am I.”

“Okay, whatever,” she said fussing, “Call me back when Leon destroys you completely. Even then I’ll be there for you Chris, always.”

With those final words, she left him. Chri stood in his kitchen looking at the closed door, wondering why everything seemed to be falling to pieces. He had enjoyed the high of Leon’s visit for about five minutes before everything else went to hell. Now he had Nick’s hurt feelings in his conscience and another bleeding would where Claire’s words had cut him.

What if she was right? What if Nick was his only chance of not spending the rest of his life alone? After seeing Leon that morning, he had had hope. He had hoped that maybe he could get the person he loved to love him back. That was something most people got in their lives, one way or another, but Chris seemed to repel other men feelings towards him. He didn’t love Nick. He didn’t think he’d ever do, and that was not Nick’s fault, it was his. He knew that pursuing Leon would close that door, but he just had to try, one more time. If Leon then off and go after Ada, so it be. Chris would worry about that when it came.

What a sad prospect for his love life he had ahead. Chris sighed, left the eggs back in the fridge and went back to bed. It was too early to be this tired and defeated.

*

Leon had spent the whole day planning the perfect date, he even googled the best places to go and what to wear on a first date.

He felt ready now, as he made his way to Chris’ place. He had carefully chosen a place he knew as a fact that Chris loved, a brasserie that had a patio he had mentioned several times. He had made reservations outside, they would have a candlelight dinner, and the place was intimate and romantic on its own.

As for the outfit, he didn’t want to overdo, so he was wearing his favorite blue dress shirt and dark jeans, combined with one of his leather jackets, the newest one. On his way to Chris apartment, he had stopped to buy flowers. He wasn’t all so sure about that part, but Chris had said old-fashioned dating, and he had read that those cheesy details were usually welcomed.

He finally got to Chris’ door. He took a deep breath and knocked. As usual, he could hear Chris make his way towards the door. When he opened, he seemed surprised to see him, but not excited or happy.

“Hi,” Leon said awkwardly offering Chris the flowers he had bought. Chris looked at the flowers like they were a bomb, but reacted and shook his head before taking them.

“Thanks. For the flowers. You didn’t have to,” he said going back inside. He hadn’t invite Leon in, but obviously, he wasn’t ready for the date. Chris was barefoot, his hair disheveled like he had just woken up, and he was wearing jeans and an old STARS t-shirt. Leon observed from the door how Chris got a vase for the flowers and he put them on water.

“Uhm, we have a reservation in twenty minutes in-“

“Sorry, Leon, I just, didn’t realize the time,” Chris said, interrupting him, “Come in, I’ll be ready in a minute.”

The elder words didn’t really match his tone. He said he’d be ready, but he seemed everything but excited for the date. No smiles and he barely looked at Leon. It wasn’t like the Cold as Ice Chris he’d meet at the cabin. This time he seemed disinterested like this date was a chore. What had changed? Maybe he had realized this he didn’t want this anymore? Leon started getting nervous.

Chris came back in a few minutes, fully dressed this time, in dark jeans, a black shirt, and shoes. He had taken care of his hair too, and even though he looked great, he’d look even better with one of his golden boy smiles. Or so thought Leon.

“Ready?” Leon asked. Chris merely nodded, taking his wallet and keys before opening and holding the door for Leon.

This wasn’t looking good. Not at all.

* * *

 

Dinner was being awkward. Chris wasn’t contributing much so Leon found himself doing most of the talking. Even though everything was perfect, the place, the candlelight, the food, Chris remained serious and indifferent. Leon at first wondered if he had done something wrong. Something else. But Chris just seemed not to care.

He hadn’t even ordered the steak, to Leon’s surprise. Chris always talked about the steak from that place like the best one he ever had. When Leon asked about that decision, Chris said that he wasn’t that hungry. Leon didn’t dare to order anything too festive after that either.

So there they were, eating boring dishes with chicken and rice and in the most awkward silence ever between them. Chris had been the last to speak, responding Leon question about how was the food. Leon couldn’t take this anymore. If Chris didn’t want to come, he’d rather the other man had merely rejected him. And it wasn’t even about the money or the time, it was about the fact that for that day, while he planned out the date and got ready for it, Leon got his hope up.

"It's not there anymore...is it?" Leon asked finally. He couldn't take one more minute of this.

“Huh?” Chris asked. He was so distracted thinking about God knows what that didn’t even hear what Leon had just said. Leon smiled sadly.

“Whatever it was that you felt for me. It’s gone. It’s too late, isn’t it?” Leon asked again. Chris looked at him, for the first time all night, showing something other than indifference. Leon wasn’t sure if it was confusion or annoyance what he saw in Chris’ face but in any case, it didn’t matter anymore. Then Chris sighed, defeated.

“Look, Leon. Things are… complicated. I really don’t know how I feel about anything right now. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate everything you did tonight. You obviously cared about all the details, and in any other circumstance I’d be over the moon,” Chris said.

“But you aren’t,” Leon said, looking at his plate. He wanted to cry. Chris was rejecting him. Even for this, he was nice enough to have let Leon take him out. Or maybe too much of an asshole to let him do it even if he planned on rejecting him all along.

“I- I don’t know what to do right now. About anything. I thin-“

“The check!” Leon called the waiter. He couldn't sit there and listen to whatever Chris had to say.

“Leon,” Chris started again.

“It’s fine. I get it okay? I just… hoped-“

“It’s not a no. Just a not right now,” Chris said. Leon could feel his eyes on him, but he refused to look at Chris.

Before none of them could say anything else, the waiter brought the check. He saw Chris try and reach for it, but he got ahead and took it first.

“I asked you out, I’m paying,” Leon said. It was a waste however you looked at it. They had barely spoken, they didn’t enjoy the food or each other’s company.

“Maybe I can pay next time?” Chris asked. That made Leon look up. Chris was trying to smile, but there was something deeply broken inside him, Leon could see it as clear as day. Something had happened to Chris. Something else. He wasn’t going to push it, though.

“I don’t care, in as much as there is a next time,” Leon responded.

“I don’t know when that might be though. But…” Chris didn’t finish that sentence. Leon nodded. He could give Chris time if he needed it. He owed Chris that much.

Leon paid, and they left the restaurant. The brief conversation didn’t do much to improve the general mood of the rest of the evening, and the goodbyes were on the same line.

Leon was devastated but didn’t give up all hope. He just had to be patient. Maybe let Chris take the next step? But he shouldn’t let go, he should remind Chris he was there for him. Maybe a text from time to time? Maybe he could call once or twice?

He was opening the door of his apartment when his phone vibrated in one of the pockets of his leather jacket. He let himself in and locked the door before checking his phone.

He had a message. From Chris.

‘ _You got home okay?_ ’

Leon looked at the screen. He saw the words, saw the sentence and understood the meaning. And yet it made no sense to him at all. Why would Chris text him that?  He thought about it over and over as he undressed and got ready for bed, trying to think of a reason why Chris would text him that, all without realizing he hadn’t responded.

‘ _Leon? Is everything alright?_ ’

The second text read. Leon let himself fall on his bed and responded to the text, still a bit confused.

‘ _Yeah, made it alright. Was getting ready for bed, sorry for the delay. No need to worry about me!_ ’ he tried to joke. He saw that Chris was typing immediately. How was he supposed to take this?

‘ _Good, I was worried for a second there,_ ’ Chris responded. He saw that the other man was writing again. But then stopped. And then started again. And stopped. Chris wanted to say something and didn’t seem to know how. ‘ _I’m sorry about dinner. I know you had some expectations about it and I ruined it._ ’

Ok, not what Leon was expecting.

‘ _It’s fine, I get it. I just hope we have the chance of doing it again. Hopefully soon?_ ’ God, he sounded like a teenager texting his crush.

‘ _I’d like that. Actually, I was thinking that we could try something more casual tomorrow?_ ’

Leon’s heat stopped. Tomorrow? Chris wanted to see him again already?

‘ _Sure, we can watch a movie in my place? I’ll even cook for you!_ ’ He regretted adding that las part immediately.

‘ _Cook huh?_ ’ Chris replied. Leon could picture Chris sardonic grin, which made him smile as well.

Somehow, without realizing they started texting back and forth, jumping from one topic to the next and enjoying the conversation like they used too. Leon realized only then that they had been at it for hours and that it was already past midnight. He thought Chris realized this as well when he saw him typing and deleting again. He wanted to coax Chris into speaking, but he didn’t want to push him.

‘ _I just wanted to say it again. Just in case. I don’t want it to screw anything that might happen in the future. Between us I mean. I am sorry for what I did that night. I was drunk, and I know that’s no excuse, but I just wanted you so bad. I had wanted you for so long. And you said what you said. And I interpreted your words to my own convenience. And I’m sorry about that. For what I did without your permission, and I really hope you can forgive me for that and maybe we can move on and maybe give us a chance?_ ’ That was one long text, Leon thought before stopping and reading. He felt too many things at once. First, he felt Chris pain, the shame he must feel about all that mess, the guilt. Then he felt his own guilt for making Chris go through this and creating this situation where people had heard about it, and Chris integrity had been questioned.

Lastly, he felt butterflies reading and rereading those parts where Chris mentioned a possible future for them. What was he supposed to say now? That it was all forgiven? That he hadn’t hated it even though he didn’t remember most of it? That was the truth, he had a very blurry memory of Chris going down on him, and he remembered thinking it felt really good. Like Chris cared a lot. Because he did.

He was now staring at his screen, hoping Chris didn’t misinterpret his silence.

‘ _I don’t know how to reply, Chris,_ ’ Leon typed, to make sure the other man was still there. That damn type and delete again. Chris must have been nervous.

‘ _It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry._ ’

‘ _I’m sorry too for what I said. And for everything that happened after. I hope you didn’t have problems at work. God knows I had them…_ ’

‘ _I’m really sorry to hear that, Le. Maybe we can talk some more about it tomorrow? It’s 2 am!_ ’

Jesus, where had time gone? Leon sent a quick message agreeing to talk some more tomorrow and saying good night. Then waited for Chris to wish him good night too and only then he went to sleep with a small smile on his face.

* * *

 

Morning came, and Leon was woken up by a notification on his phone. A text message, he recognized. While he tried to find his phone on the nightstand, he couldn't help to smile. It might be Chris wanting to say good morning. He sure hoped so.

He finally found it and unlocked it, seeing the message was from a Redfield, but not Chris. He swallowed before opening the text, only to find a wall of text.

‘ _You and I need to talk, Leon,_ ’ Leon read, ‘ _You need to stay away from my brother. He was finally getting out of a dark place, and then you showed up and started with your usual head games_.’ Leon furrowed his brows in confusion. What head games? What was all this? He knew Claire was mad, but this was a bit out of place. ‘ _Leon you are not gay, you are not confused, you are just trying to drag Chris down with you because you are lonely. You flipped shit up in Hardvardville when a man called you "Honey." You were nothing but "Ada, Ada, Ada," for years and now...what? Cause she stopped talking to you? Do you really like Chris or is it because you drove the rest of us away for years and now realize there is NO ONE there for you? And because he showed you some attention, you feel the need to latch on to him?_ ’

Leon stopped reading then and there. The message was bitter and toxic at best. What in the world had he done to Claire? If Chris would forgive him, why couldn’t she? The message had left him with a weird feeling, but he couldn’t give in, not when he was meeting Chris again. He decided to take the initiative and be the one texting first. He hoped that talking to Chris would help him forget about what Claire had said.

‘ _Good morning! I hope you slept well,_ ’ He texted. It barely took a few seconds to see Chris typing on the other end. That made him smile.

‘ _I was about to say the same._ ’

They chatted a bit more, but Leon didn’t mention Claire’s text. He wasn’t going to let anybody ruin this day.

He had many things to do and only so many hours. He needed to clean his apartment since he’d been suspended, he had been slacking off and didn’t clean much after the first day. He had to buy groceries too and something nice and romantic to prepare for dinner. He also wanted to pick a movie that matched the mood. Chris had said something casual, but there was nothing casual about having Chris coming over.

The day flew by while Leon completed his list of things to do. He only had around forty minutes left before Chris came over and he needed a shower and to finish dinner.

With not much time to spare, Leon messed up the recipe for the sauce for the pasta and somehow managed to burn and undercook the chicken at the same time. He was standing in front of the disaster that should have been dinner when he heard a knock in the door. He looked at the oven clock with sheer panic. It was time. He hadn’t showered and had no dinner. This was a disaster.

He went to get the door thinking of what to say. Chris probably would laugh, right? He opened the door and smiled as soon as he saw Chris. This was his Chris. The one that smiled sweetly at him. And he brought flowers, the dork.

“I thought that I should too,” he said. Leon took them inviting him in and forgetting about the mess for a few seconds. “What’s that smell?”

“Oh,” Leon said remembering, “It might be me, couldn’t take a shower. Or it might be the dinner. I burnt it all.”

Chris looked at him, completely serious.

“I’m starving,” Chris said then.

“We can order,” Leon offered.

“Okay, I’ll order, you go grab that shower,” Chris said producing his phone from the pocket of his jeans. Leon put the flowers in water in one of his pint glasses, he hadn’t any vases.

“Wait, are you insinuating that I smell?” Leon asked realizing Chris words. Chris took a few steps, invading Leon’s personal space and making him freeze. Chris then leaned in and sniffed a few times.

“Well, you don’t stink, but you definitely could use a shower,” Leon stared at Chris pretending to be shocked as the other man took a step back.

Chris laughed seeing Leon’s overdramatic reaction, and the sound melted Leon’s heart. He blushed and excused himself to got and shower. Leon hurried under the water trying not to have Chris waiting for too long, so he ended up returning to the living room with his hair still wet. When he got there, he found Chris holding Munchkin.

“I made a friend,” Chris said.

“I see that. But your friend is going to have to stay in my room for now,” he said picking the cat from Chris’ arms and locking it in his bedroom. He didn’t want interruptions, and he knew the feline well enough not to trust him.

“So, I ordered from that Thai place you always mention,” Chris said. That sounded fucking terrific.

“Great. You are going to love it,” Leon assured. They stood there a few seconds awkwardly. “When did we forget how to be together?” Leon joked.

“I have no idea, but it’s only been like a week,” Chris said. And it was true. It had been the previous weekend when it all went to hell. It had felt like an eternity.

“Did it feel like forever to you too?”

“Oh god, I thought this week was never going to end!” Chris said rolling his eyes and letting himself fall on the couch.

“I picked a few movies,” Leon said as he joined him. He pushed play, and the movie started. It was another romantic comedy, for old time’s sake, he told himself.

They immediately started bitching about it, just like they did that last time. They lost track of time and only when the food arrived realized they were halfway through the movie. With the food already there, they sat on the floor, using the coffee table while they ate. That was the quietest they were, because as soon as they were done eating, they started bitching again, and kept it going even after the movie was over.

“I mean, would you date a guy who threatens you with killing himself if you don’t? How is that romantic?” Chris asked. He was especially upset about that part.

“This is like one of the favorite rom-com of all time,” Leon explained.

“Why? It sucks.”

“The hell do I know, I suck at love,” Leon said shrugging. They were still sitting on the floor, close enough for their shoulder to touch when they moved.

“That makes two of us,” Chris said, seemingly deep in thought.

“Is everything alright?” Leon asked.

“Actually…” Oh, no, he shouldn’t have asked, “Claire is being a bit hard on me lately. We fought and… I don’t know, I just hate fighting with her. She’s my family, and she’s so upset about everything lately…”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Leon said. He wondered if he should bring up his own struggle with Claire, but it didn’t seem like the right moment.

“It’s just that… she’s trying to micromanage everything. She wants me to stop seeing you, and also to start seeing Nick again,” Chris explained. The mere mention of the other man’s name made Leon’s blood boil. Just a little. “And then she just… she was really mean yesterday. I get that she worries but, there’s a line between trying to help and being a bit of a bitch. She crossed that line yesterday.”

“I’m sorry I’m causing you all this trouble with Claire,” Leon said, placing his hand on Chris' shoulder. It was meant as a supportive gesture, but he immediately saw that it could be seen as something else. Especially given how close they were. Now Chris was looking at him straight in the eye, for a split second though, he focused on Leon’s lips. It seemed like they were getting closer, inch by inch. Leon didn’t want to or couldn’t wait for it, so he leaned in, a bit harder than he intended and kissed Chirs.

“Ouch,” Chris exclaimed. Leon’s enthusiasm had pushed him back, and he almost fell back.

“Shit, sorry,” Leon hurried to apologize. “I fucked it up,” he said more to himself. They had had a moment, and he had ruined it.

“Hey?” Chris called him, putting his hand on Leon’s cheek to make him turn and look at him. “Try again? but don’t come at me that hard, kay?”

Leon wanted to say yes, or to nod, or something but he didn’t want to waste another second. He leaned in again, this time much more careful and placed a chaste kiss on Chris’ lips, making the older man laugh.

Leon tried again, little by little demanding more. Eventually, they were entirely making out, they were sitting even closer now, and he was keeping Chris close, with a hand on his neck and another on his shoulder. He was too focused on what his tongue was doing he barely paid attention to the fact that Chris was barely touching him. He was just holding the hem of his shirt with one hand and barely brushing his hip with the other. Then again, Leon was to busy to realize.

He’d never been a fan of kissing. He usually enjoyed all the other parts of sex better than this one, which he usually considered unnecessary, but then and there, he felt like he could just kiss Chris for hours, for as long as his tongue worked.

Too bad for him, Chris stopped kissing him first.

“Are you okay so far?” Chris asked. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and he was a bit worked up. Leon didn’t ignore the fact that he was half hard just from kissing, so maybe Chris was in the same state.

“Yeah. You?” Leon asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I just… think we should maybe take it a little bit slower? Maybe we can watch another one of your movies?” Chris asked. Leon would have rather making out some more. He had been enjoying it a lot more than he expected, but this wasn't just about what he wanted.

“Of course. What would you like to see, city girls meets country boy or a poor humble girl meets a rich boy who pretends not to be rich?” Leon asked.

“Are those real movies? Because they sound pretty bad,” Chris said, moving back to sit on the couch. Leon followed him and saw Chris lay his arm on the back of the sofa, so he took it as the cue to cuddle. He sat right next to Chris and placed his head on the other man’s shoulder. He felt Chris tense underneath him for an instant and then relax again.  

He started the movie and suddenly felt Chris fingers playing with his hair. At first it was like a light and gentle touch, but probably seeing that Leon didn’t care, Chris started caressing his neck and slipping his fingers through his hair.

He tried to fight it, but it didn’t take long before Leon fell asleep with his head on Chris shoulder.


	12. Time after Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry for the mess you are about to read, I've been having issues with this story recently.
> 
> Anyway, tho, thanks for reading and also sorry for weird typos you might find.

So this was happening. He had just stopped kissing Leon because he was the one scared now. And now Leon’s sleepy head was resting on his shoulder. The movie was still on, and for the past few minutes, all Chris could look at was Leon’s sleeping face. He seemed at ease, young, calm. This is what Leon should always look, Chris thought. He’d love to be able to provide this peace and security to Leon, but as he himself had said, they should take it easy.

Rushing things now could precipitate whatever it might happen between them. Leon had said he had had a hard time figuring out his feelings and that was fair. Chris knew he had to give him some time and space to make sure how he wanted things to be.

But so far Leon had kissed him and had wanted to do it, he had even seemed a bit too eager. Chris brought his free hand to his lips. He could still feel Leon’s soft lips on his and taste him in his mouth.

He turned his head to smell Leon’s hair. It was probably weird, but he was curious. It smelled like mint and something citric. He was about to rest his head on top of Leon’s when he felt his phone go off in his pocket. He managed to stop the noise. Now he needed to disentangle himself from Leon and take the call. He carefully let Leon rest laying down on the couch and went out to the balcony to take the call. It was Sean, and for a second there, Chris worried that something had happened to Claire, so he picked up.

“Finally! I thought you were not going to pick up!” Sean said. There was noise in the background, so he was probably out.

“Sean? What’s going on? Why are you calling?” Chris asked.

“So I and some of the boys are out. I was thinking that you, as my brother in law should be here too. Especially after the incident with MySpace hair the other night?”

“What?”

“MySpace hair! Hold on,” he heard Sean say. Suddenly, his phone vibrated with a new message. Sean had sent him a picture of some random guy with really long black and hot pink bangs.

“Who’s that?” Chris asked putting the phone back against his ear.

“Leon’s haircut dude! Same fucking thing!” Yeah, Sean had been drinking, Chris confirmed. He remained silent, making Sean go on, “Oh, come on, it’s hilarious! Nick for one loves it.”

“I’m sure he does.”

“Look, Chris,” Sean said, turning serious suddenly, “I know you are going through a lot, but Claire is worried you are going to isolate yourself and I just want to be there for you. We are family now,” Sean said.

For some season, that made Chris feel guilty. He hadn’t told a soul that he and Leon were talking again. Much less having secret nights in and kissing like teenagers, so Sean’s call was a reminder.

He didn’t want to leave, not that he wanted to spend the night either. Well, he did want to spend the night, god knew he wanted, but he knew he shouldn’t. So he should leave soon anyway. He accepted to meet Sean in the bar they were and then went back inside. Leon was still asleep, and even if leaving without saying anything was shitty, he thought it was better than telling Leon he was leaving to meet Sean instead. He made sure to leave a note on the fridge and then he left the apartment quietly.

Chris kept his phone in his hand while he walked to the bar Sean has mentioned. He wanted to be able to text back whenever Leon woke up. Just to make sure everything was alright. When he got there, he saw that it was a sports bar, not too crowded since it was Sunday after all.

As soon as he got in, he saw Sean on a table with Jake, Nick and probably some other friends of theirs from the hospital. He couldn’t believe it when he approached them, and he was forced to seat between Nick and Sean.

“Hello, handsome,” Nick greeted him with a hand on his thigh. Sean was ordering more drinks, but for what Chris could see, at least these two had had more than enough.

“Hey,” he said quietly. He looked at Jake looking for help but Jake just shrugged. He and Jake were all that close, but he was the closest thing he had right there to an ally.

“So we were talking about the bachelor party, any ideas?” Sean said turning to Chris and giving him a beer the waitress had just brought.

“I don’t know,” Chris said, already regretting ditching Leon for this. He was late to the party, and everybody seemed to be having a great time but him and Jake. The situation remained the same for like seemed hours. Sean and Nick will throw crazy ideas for the bachelor party, including Las Vegas and everybody else in the table would cheer or boo.

At some point, Jake, that finally was done with it all, stood and excused himself, Chris immediately did the same, explaining he had to work early in the morning and he could use a ride. Jake was surprised, and even though he didn’t show it, Chris could see it on his face.

They left the bar together, and as soon as they were out, Jake asked,

“Do you really need a ride?”

“I’m not gonna make you drive me home, don’t worry. I’ll get an uber.”

“Where were you coming from that you didn’t need to drive?” Jake asked stopping dramatically.

“What?”

“You were with the one that shall not be mentioned, weren’t you?” Jake asked with a smirk.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Leon lives pretty close,” Jake explained.

“I know,” Chris said.

“Man, you are not in trouble or anything. I’d ditch those guys for Kennedy any time. But your sister is gonna be maaaad.”

Chris sighed. Why should he lie?

“You tell me,” he said. “I’m just so tired of everything.”

“I can give you a ride back to Kennedy’s, it’s sort of on my way home.”

“Thanks, but I’ll just go home.”

“Whatever,” Jake said shrugging again.

“Jake?” Chris called as the redhead walked away.

“Can we keep this… between us?”

“Sure do, Jarhead,” he said with another smile.

After that Chris let him go and got that uber home.

 

* * *

 

Leon was suddenly woken up by some sort of scratching noise. He opened his eyes, finding himself lying on the couch. He was confused for a couple of second and then he remembered. Where was Chris? Then he heard the scratching noise again and went to let the cat out of his room. As soon as he opened the door, Munchkin looked at him in a way that said that the feline was not happy.

Leon looked around, Chris was gone. He sighed. Had Chris just left him with no explanation? Had he maybe decided he didn’t want this. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t wanted to kiss anymore.

But then he saw the note on the fridge and wasn’t able to contain the silly smile. He took the note, lifting the magnet before putting it back against the fridge and read it.

‘ _Sorry I had to leave like this. Something came up and didn’t want to wake you up. I’d love to take it where we left it any time this week, and I cannot wait to see you again. Text me when you read this, so I know all is good._

_Chris._

_PS: I think the cat is crying, but I’m scared of opening the door in case it attacks me, I hope he hasn’t destroyed your room._ ’

He went to get his phone immediately to do as Chris said and text him.

‘ _You are not in trouble,_ ’ Leon wrote. After a few seconds, his phone vibrated as he cleaned the remains of the dinner.

‘ _Thank God. Sorry again for leaving like that._ ’

‘ _Is everything okay, tho?_ ’ Leon asked.

‘ _It is now. You seemed tired, don’t go to bed too late, okay?_ ’ Chris told him. Leon awwed out loud, earning a look from Munchie who was throwing food outside his bowl deliberately.

“Oh, yeah, keep doing that. I’m not giving you new food because yours is dirty and on the floor. You’ll eat that, or you won’t eat,” Leon told him before going back to his phone.

‘ _Sorry I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to. It was supposed to be a date…_ ’ He texted.

‘ _It was perfect, and I had a great time,_ ’ Chris responded. As usual, he was so nice.

‘ _Btw, I can’t wait to see you again either. Maybe we can hang out on the weekend? I promise to take a nap so we can stay up all night,_ ’ he texted without thinking. Then he re-read the message and blushed furiously. Hoped Chris didn’t read too much into it. But then he saw Chris doing his usual start writing/deleting several times. Shit. If he said he didn’t mean it that way, maybe Chris would think he didn’t want to be up all night in that way. Leon was undoubtedly curious about what kind of things he and Chris could do together at night and was excited about discovering all these new things with Chris. Maybe he could say that. Before he had time to write that, Chris responded.

‘ _I’m sure you didn’t mean what it looked like by that… And yeah, next weekend works,_ ’ Chris simply texted. It seemed an ordinary text, but Leon knew that each word had been carefully chosen.

‘ _You wanted to take it slow, and that’s fine by me, but I do expect at least some more making out on the couch,_ ’ Leon responded hoping that was the right answer. It took a few seconds for Chris to return and this time it seemed that he didn’t hesitate.

‘ _I’ll see you on Friday, my place, I’ll cook,_ ’ Chris wrote. Immediately after he added, _‘If that’s fine by you, I mean, we can meet somewhere else if you don’t want to come to my place. I’ll understand if you don’t._ ’

‘ _I’ll bring wine and dessert,_ ’ was Leon’s response. He hoped Chris was smiling like an idiot as much as he was.

After a few more messages, they said good night to each other and Leon went back to sleep, this time in his bed.

 

The next morning, Leon woke up with his alarm. He woke up at the same time he would have woken up if he had to go to the office, even though he was still working from home. He knew he had to keep his routine or he’d go crazy. After a shower, he went to make some breakfast before sitting in his office to get some work done. When he got to the kitchen, he had to admit he was disappointed but not surprised by the mess the cat had left. Cat food and water everywhere and Munchkin had also been kind enough to make sure he left paw prints all over the countertop.

“I’m still not giving you any other food!” Leon called as he picked the broom.

He cleaned up and finally made some coffee and toast. He decided to take his breakfast to his office and check the news while he ate.

He read a few headlines and then, against his better judgment, opened some of his social networks. He knew most of his friends were still mad at him and were not talking to him, so this was his only way to catch up with them.

First, he saw Sherry’s post, she was sharing a picture of her breakfast. He smiled at the whole post and the comments. Most of his friends made sure to leave an appreciative comment, Even Jake took the time to leave a sweet message for his girlfriend.

He scrolled down some more, seeing a picture of Helena in the gym. She sure was fit. He left a like there. He scrolled some more and saw a picture where Chris had been tagged. The photo was from the night before.

The picture showed a small group, Sean, Chris, Nick, Jake and two other guys Leon didn’t know, sitting in that order. Nick’s arm was under the table, seemingly on Chris lap. Leon didn’t know what to think of it. Was this the reason Chris had left? What did it mean? Was he still seeing Nick? Chris had pursued him even though he had been dating Nick before, what if that hadn’t changed? Was Leon a piece on the side?

He couldn't stop staring at the picture. Everybody seemed to be having a great time, but when he looked at Chris, he didn’t see him smile that much. Leon liked to think he knew Chris enough to know when he was genuinely smiling. Like when they sang together, or after Leon had kissed him.

“What am I going to do...?" Leon asked in a whisper.

What could he do? He was trying his best, but it seemed like no matter what he tried, it wasn't good enough. Maybe...he was rushing into this? He couldn't exactly call Chris out on this; they weren't official, so Chris technically had free reign to do whatever he wanted, and he didn't have to answer to Leon.

But on the other hand, he didn’t want to just be a side piece while Chris found something more stable. Before he could help himself, he called Chris.

“Hey,” the other man said in the other side. He sounded cheerful.

“Hey…” Leon responded dryly.

“Is everything alright? Are you oka-?”

“Did you left last night to go and meet Nick?” Leon asked, sounding embarrassingly jealous. Chris remained silent for one too many seconds.

“Look, I don’t have to give you an explanation of why I do things, Leon. I don’t like being controlled like that, not by you, not by anyone. And not because I have to tell you, but because I want to, but I had no idea Nick would be there. I was going to meet Sean,” great, now Chris seemed pissed too.

“So you meet with Sean and don’t expect his best friend to be there?” He needed to stop whining like this. But he just couldn’t.

“Leon, what’s going on? Why are you so worked up? We had a great time last night, me leaving after that changes nothing.”

“Are you still seeing Nick?” Leon asked, in that same bitchy tone again. He heard Chris sigh.

“No. I stopped seeing him after the night you called me- after that night. I hadn’t seen him much before that either. He heard the rumors and still remains friendly, but there’s nothing between us anymore. Happy?”

“I’m sorry,” Leon said softly.

“Did you just call for that? I was really hoping a friendly call. I guess it was too much to ask,” Chris lamented.

“No, I mean, yeah. I’m sorry, okay?” Leon tried again, “I just couldn’t help it. You left me here last night and then you were with him. I got upset.”

“Leon, you got jealous.” “Yeah,” admitted. “I really want this to work. I don’t want to be just some sidepiece while you get something better.”

“Is that really what you think of me? That I’d be messing with you, who are already confused enough, only while I get something else? Don’t get me wrong, I prefer this to rapist but…” Chris was pissed. It is evident that he was trying to remain calm and friendly, but the resentment was finally coming out. Leon should have known Chris wouldn’t forgive him that easily, even if Chris wanted to.

“No. Of course not. But I wouldn’t blame you for wanting something more-“

“Something more what?”Chris interrupted him, his patience running short.

“I don’t know. Stable? Maybe someone with more experience?”

“Look I’m busy now, Leon… I’ll call you later. I don’t have the time for this right now,” Chris said before hanging up.

But he didn’t call back that day. Or the next.

They did text, a lot, but it wasn’t the same anymore. There was a shadow stalking whatever they were trying to build. There was a lot of guilt on both sides. Insecurities, questions too hurtful to be asked. Questions too embarrassing. Their relationship was now frozen in time and space, and their interactions reduced to text.

Even with all that, Chris made sure to tell Leon every day that he still wanted to make it work. That they just needed time. Leon wanted to believe it so hard that he made those texts his mantra.

By Wednesday, he was bored and about to go crazy working from home. Keeping the routine helped, but he was starting to hate his apartment. Lucky him, he received a call from Hunnigan.

“Hey boss,” Leon greeted.

“I don’t know if you are kidding or not, but whatever. I have news.”

“Good or bad?”

“That depends on you,” she said teasing.

“Okay,” Leon bit, “shoot.”

“I might have a new position for you. I believe that you are perfect for it and that you would love it. But I don’t know if your personal situation is… the best right now.”

“Okay, what kind of position? Whatever that is not working from home sounds good to me right now,” Leon joked.

“You’d be our liaison with European divisions. They need coaching and you have all the experience anyone can have.” Leon remained silent. The job sounded good. At least ready. But, Europe?

“What do you mean with that? I’d have to move?”

“Not exactly. I mean, yes, but you’d be covering several countries. There’s a lot of traveling. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You’ll have a lot of free time too, it’s an office job. So you can do some tourism!” She tried to sound excited. “And you should be able to opt to a better position when you are back.” It all sounded good. Too good. But it was such a bad moment.

“Can I think about it? Maybe for a couple of days?”

“Of course. I already counted on it. Leon, as your friend, not your boss, don’t let this chance go for the wrong reasons if you do. You’ll be back after a few months unless you want to stay in that position. We can make this work, just say the word.”

“Okay. Thanks for considering me for this,” Leon said.

“Of course. I’m sure you are going homicidal working from home without Helena and Sherry.”

“I am,” Leon responded completely serious, making Hunnigan laugh.

“I have to go now, I’ll call you back in a few days. Have your response by then.”

“I will,” Leon promised.

What the fuck now?

* * *

 

Chris was unusually busy at work. Another possible sighting of Maria Gomez. This time it seemed more plausible since they had pictures. She might have dyed her hair, so she looked different, but still suspicious enough to have drawn BSAA agents attention.

The truth was that the evil mastermind was Arias, Maria was just muscle, and she didn’t have any of Arias CIA training or experience. For now, they couldn’t deny or confirm that it was her, but there was definitely chatter. Too many old enemies that kept coming back waiting in the shadows to strike.

Chris sighed. It was the fourth day he stood this late at work. It was near 8, and he only realized the time because he stomach growled. He hadn’t had dinner and was by then starving. He took his stuff and prepared to leave. Whatever he was doing at that precise moment could most likely wait until tomorrow.

He checked his phone on his way to the car and saw no texts. Leon had been awfully quiet since the day before. Not that after that not-so-nice conversation on Monday they had talked much, but they were still trying.

To Chris, it all felt like he was holding on a burning nail. He felt like this was it for him and not just because he wasn’t getting any younger and it was his last shot. He genuinely believed that this would make him happy like he felt it on his core. However, he was insecure about Leon’s commitment. The blonde had said it himself, he wouldn’t blame Chris for looking for something more stable.

Chris did understand though, Leon had just now started exploring his own identity, it would be unrealistic to just hope the blonde would settle down for the first thing he tried. He had only realized that now. And after that, he couldn’t shake that feeling. What if he and Leon started dating and then Leon was the one to find something more “stable”? Chris knew he wouldn’t be able to blame him. And not only because Leon deserved better than Chris but also because no one settles down for the first thing they get. People like to test the waters, try a few samples, and then keep the best of all of them. Chris knew he wasn’t it.

His phone went off, interrupting his pity party. He checked, for some reason hoping it was Leon, but it was Claire instead.

“Hey sis,” Chris said before being interrupted by loud sobs. Claire was talking but not making any sense, and Chris could barely understand what she was saying. “Okay, I’m going to drive to your house, okay? We can talk when I’m there.”

“Okay,” Claire managed to agree before sorbing and sniffing.

Chris drove as fast as legally possible and got to Claire's house. He didn’t know what to expect once there, so he approached the house carefully. He knocked and almost immediately Claire opened the door, swollen eyes and still sobbing.

“Jesus Christ, Claire, what’s wrong?” Chris hurried and held his sister. She broke down crying her heart out on his shoulder. After a couple of minutes, she took a step back and finally let Chris in. “Claire, talk to me.”

“I just…What am I going to do,” she sobbed again going into the living room and leaving Chris behind. He followed her and sat next to her on the couch.

“Claire, what’s wrong? Did something happen to Sean?”

“No. But… his parents are organizing an engagement party tomorrow. With invites and cocktails and dressing up and all that,” she started.

“Okay. You don’t want to go? Is that it?”

“No! Of course not! But they hate me already,” she said with a tiny voice that broke Chris’ heart.

“That’s not true. Claire, you are a catch! Why would they do anything but adore you!?”

“Because Sean is from a wealthy family, and they think that we… that I’m not good enough. We don’t have a fancy background, and they think I’m a golddigger.”

“What?! That’s ridiculous! I’m sure Sean has made clear-“

“It doesn’t matter what Sean says anymore! Because I’m pregnant, everybody is going to think it’s a shotgun wedding and that I did it on purpose!” she screamed before starting crying again.

“Oh come on, no one’s going to think that,” Chris tried.

“Yes, they will. What it Sean does too?”

“He won’t. Come on, Claire, he loves you like crazy!”

“But what if he does? What if he leaves me? What if-“

“Claire, he won’t,” Chris told her in a no-nonsense tone. He really didn’t have the best day to bring support to anyone.

She whined some more but finally calmed enough to tell him. She apologized for being so mad at him lately. She had been a mess, most likely because of the hormonal changes and she was now aware of the reason why. Her emotions had been all over the place, and everybody had been a victim. And then she mentioned Leon.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad, but I went too far. I want to apologize, but I don’t even know if he’ll talk to me,” she said. “He was my best friend and one day he disappeared chasing Ada.”

“I’m sorry, Claire. But I’m sure he’ll love to hear from you.”

“How would you know? Did he try to contact you again?” She asked, right before realizing. He didn’t even have time to explain himself. “You have been seeing Leon? How dare you!” She sounded more amused than mad, but Chris knew he still had to explain.

“I’m sorry, but… we just talked,” Chris said, “I do believe he means well and that he’s really sorry about what happened. He had his fair share of shit. He’s working from home because he hit some guy in the office.”

“I know, Sherry told me. He must be going crazy being home… So you guys doing okay now? Are you friends or…?” She tried to ask.

“I have no idea,” Chris sighed, “The other night we went out for dinner and was weird but then we started texting, and it felt like before… that night. And then on Sunday, we met again, and it was great and…”

“And what?” Claire asked. She was sitting and hugging a cushion and listening so attentively that she looked like a teenage girl about to hear the high school biggest gossip.

“Nothing… we just… kissed a little-“

“OH MY GOD, CHRISTOPHER, ”Claire yelled.

“Jesus, Claire, I’m right here, no need for yelling.”

“So things are good, right? You and Leon?”

“No. I don’t know,” Chris said. It was the truth, he had no idea. He passed his hand through his hair and looked at Claire. “He called me on Monday because he saw the pictures from that night. He got mad because Nick was there. And I got defensive because I’m a grown man and I can do as I damn well please and…” Chris sighed again, louder.

“He’s jealous and probably scared to lose you again. But I agree, if you are not dating he has no right to call you out for that.”

“I think he’s angrier because I didn’t tell him. And I sorta left him there while he was sleeping,” Chris confessed, earning a frown from his sister.

“I’d like to talk to him. To apologize. You think-do you think that if I invite him to tomorrow’s party, he’ll come? Maybe we can both take the chance to clear things with him?”

“Sure, I think he’d lo-“ Chris words were interrupted by the noise of the main door closing.

“Honey, I’m home,” Sean called from the hall.

“We’re in the living room. Chris is here,” she called back.

“Hi,” Sean said dryly. Both siblings did not hide their surprise.

“What’s with that cold “hi” to my brother?” Claire asked immediately. Chris tried to stop her. The last thing he wanted was Claire having problems with Sean because of him.

“I can only take so much of seeing my best friend being used as a mat,” Sean said, staring at Chris.

“Ok, that’s my cue to leave,” he said standing and more than ready to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the party, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, “and we are talking about this,” she told  Sean, who rolled his eyes.

“I love you,” Chris said hugging her, “I guess I can say that I love you both now,” he whispered discreetly patting her belly. She smiled.

“Love you too. I’ll let you know about tomorrow.”

He said goodbye to Sean as well, and he bothered to say it back. Chris wondered if Claire was going to share the news now or maybe wait until that stupid party was over.

When he finally left the house, he realized his phone was long dead, and he didn’t have a charger in the car so he’d have to wait home to check his messages.

He just hoped Leon hadn’t texted him much and that he didn’t misinterpret the silence.

* * *

 

Leon laid awake in bed, looking at the ceiling. Chris had been ignoring for hours now. He had sent a few messages hours ago and had gotten no response. That was not like Chris at all, but then again, things weren’t complete okay anymore.

He was legitimately trying to fall asleep now, but the second his phone vibrated, he almost jumped to get it.

‘ _Sorry, my phone died. Left work late today and then went to see Claire,_ ’ before Leon could respond, Chris added, ‘Shit I hope I’m not waking you up.’

‘ _Couldn't sleep, so no worries,_ ’ Leon responded, ‘ _everything okay with Claire?_ ’

He saw Chris do the write and delete thing again. Did something happen?

‘ _I want to tell you, but I’m afraid you are going to have to wait a bit to find out,_ ’ he said. That intrigued Leon. Was this about Claire?

‘ _What do you mean?_ ’

‘ _Nothing bad, I promise. It’s late, and you should get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow,_ ’ Chris texted. Leon said good night and waited until Chris said it back to go back to try to sleep. He wished Chris was there with him so they could talk things out. At least he had the consolation that he was seeing Chris tomorrow. They were still having dinner at Chris’ or so it looked, judging by Chris’ words.

With that in mind and carefully shaping a plan, he fell asleep.

Morning came and with that the usual alarm and in addition to that, Munchkin, who still was pissed at him, slapped in the face because he was hungry most likely. Leon followed his by now usual routine, feed the cat, had breakfast, showered and dressed and went to his computer. He was starting to consider Hunnigan’s job offer, if only because he wouldn’t be working from home. He texted Chris, and he texted back immediately. That was a good sign, what wasn’t though was that he said he’d be pretty busy all day. It didn’t matter, Leon was seeing him that night, and he was ready to talks about everything they needed to talk about.

Leon did his best to avoid social media all day because by now he had learned his lesson and knew better than to pry and then ask questions. He managed to entertain himself with work long enough to be done with it and start preparing for his date. Never before in his life, he had been this nervous before a year. He didn’t know what to wear. It wasn’t like what he wore was that important, but then again he wanted to look his best. He tried several outfits discarding most of them and finally decide on a blue shirt and dark jeans.

When he was completely ready, he had done his hair as well and shaved, he asked Munchie to wish him luck and left. He texted Chris to tell him he was on his way but got no response. When he made it to Chris’ places, he could hear his noisy neighbor from the hall. She sure was a passionate lover. He knocked on Chris’ door, sure the other man would be cranky and pissed as usual when it came to that noisy woman.

He waited there, but the door didn’t open, nor he heard movement inside. Was possible that Chris was not home yet? He guessed that he could wait, but Chris could have let him know he was going to be late.

He had been waiting for fifteen minutes and trying to call Chris and texting him when he got a notification that said that Moira Burton was streaming. Supposing he had time, he clicked to check what was the older Burton up to. As soon as the video site loaded, he could identify that wherever Moira was, it was a party. Moira seemed to be running around with her camera, asking people questions. Soon Leon realized it was Claire’s engagement party. The invite probably got lost in the mail, he laughed sadly.

And then he saw Chris. Dressed up, with a glass of champagne in one hand and laughing while he talked to Jill and someone else. Moira approached them, asking them for a few words but they all refused and sent her away.

The footage was live. Chris was at the party. He hadn’t even had the fucking decency to tell him he wouldn’t be home. This was it. Leon might have fucked up but he sure as hell didn’t deserve to be treated like this. He could feel his blood boiling. He was about to make something really stupid, but he was hurt now, and he wanted to tell Chris exactly how he felt. Too bad Chris didn’t pick up the phone, now Leon had to go to the party to be able to talk to him.

* * *

 

Chris couldn’t stop checking his watch. Leon hadn’t shown up yet, but hopefully, he was only running late. Maybe he had not wanted to come? No, that didn’t make sense, Chris was sure Leon, wanted to fix things with Claire as well. After last night he hadn’t properly charged his phone, and the device was currently charging in the kitchen, but whenever he tried to make a run for it, someone would stop him and they wouldn’t just let him go.

When he finally got to his phone, he saw five missed calls and a lot of texts asking where he was. Leon had gone to his place? They had a date, but the invite to the party should have been clear enough. He was about to call when Claire entered the kitchen.

“You are hiding too?” she asked.

“No, just worried. Leon’s not here yet. You sure you sent him the invite?”

“Yeah, this morning. Actually, I had Sean do it. He should have received it had delivered around noon,” there were a few silent seconds where both probably wondered the same thing until Claire asked aloud, “Maybe he didn’t want to come.”

“He sure wanted. I’m going to call him, maybe something came up-“ suddenly they heard a commotion in the other room, and Sean entered the kitchen, dragging someone with them.

“I just want to talk to Chris, I give no fucks about your fucking party,” a furious Leon told Sean.

“Leon?” Chris asked confused. Why was he so mad now?

“Oh, there you are. Look I get it, I fucked up, but you are taking this revenge of yours too far.” Leon said as he rearranged his shirt.

“I told you he shouldn’t come,” Sean complained to Claire.

“Calm down everybody,” Claire asked, “Leon, thanks for coming,” she tried.

“Thanks for coming? He was making a scene, and I had to drag him here before it got worse,” Sean replied.

“I invited him, I wanted him to come.”

“Leon, what’s going on?” Chris said, approaching Leon and speaking softly.

“That you did it again. You bailed on me to come here. I know I’m not welcome here, but you could have just told me. Or tell me that you don’t want to see me. Or that you prefer to be with Nick but don’t keep me waiting like an idiot, Chris.”

“What are you talking about, Leon? Claire sent you an invitation. I wanted to meet you here.”

“I received nothing. Jesus, Chris, make up your mind, but don’t toy with me,” Leon told him. He was livid, and Chris suddenly felt himself getting angrier too. He had nothing wrong to deserve this treatment.

“No, Leon, you are not telling me not to play with you. You are probably the last person in this house who can give lessons about that,” Chris said. He knew his tone was cold and he heard how the argument between Claire and Sean that had been going on next to them stopped immediately.

“What?” Leon asked now, confused and hurt.

“You keep treating me like this like it was my fault, and some of it is, but-“

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to this party? I wouldn’t have minded. I just wanted to see you today,” Leon said, his voice getting lower as he ended talking.

“I thought you’d be here,” Chris said in a different tone.

“He didn’t get the invitation,” Claire interrupted them, “Sean didn’t send it.”

“And I was right not to do it. Even without it he crashed out party and made a scene. I want him out now, Claire,” he commanded. Before Chris or Claire could react, Leon nodded and left the kitchen through the side door. Chris went after him.

“Leon,” he called, but the blonde didn’t stop. “Leon!” Chris said again as he reached for Leon, grabbing his arm.

“What!? What do you want from me now?!” Leon’s eyes were shiny.

“The same thing I’ve always wanted,” Chris said, “I just don’t know how to-“

“Sean is right, you know. I should have come. I’m gonna give Claire trouble and you-you- I already fucked up with you,”

“No, you didn’t. We still can-“

“You are still mad, Chris. I know you don’t want to be, but you are. You need time to heal. Time away from me,” Leon said, resigned.

“But that’s the last thing I want right now,” Chris protested. Leon was probably right, but the idea of Leon being away-

“I’m taking a job overseas.”

“What?” Chris asked stupidly. “You are what?”

“I’m leaving for a while. It’s the best right now.”

“No, it’s not! Why are you doing this? Are you giving up on me? On us?” Chris asked. He was the one with shiny eyes now, he knew only for the burn he felt in his eyes.

“No. But we can’t do this right now. None of us is ready,” Leon said as he started walking towards his car, making Chris' hand let go of his arm. Chris watched him get away and into his car, feeling like it was the last time he saw the other man. He couldn’t react, he couldn’t go after him or call him. Leon had rejected him again.

He stood there, by the curve looking at the road where Leon drove away for probably too long. He went back to the party only to find that it was a mess now. Sean and Claire had fought, and that made his parents voice some not so good opinions about Claire, which made Sean defend her. Now his parents were gone, and she was crying.

Chris was so not in a mood for that again so instead of getting back into the house, he went back to his car and went home. He was pretty sure that nobody would miss him at the party.

 

Hours later, he was still drunk and halfway through a bad hangover and laying in his bed still in the party clothes. How did all ended so fast? He had been ignoring all messages and calls for hours but whoever it was now was more insistent.

“What?” Chris barked picking up.

“Hey,” Claire said.

“Sorry we ruined your party,” Chris said sitting and rubbing his face with his free hand, trying to get out of the stupor.

“I’m not calling for that. I just spoke with Sherry. Leon just said goodbye. He’s leaving DC.”

“He didn’t waste any time,” Chris tried to joke.

“He’s going to the airport now. He only said goodbye to her and Helena. I don’t want to leave things like this, Chris. You shouldn’t either.”

“What do you want me to do? Go after him? He said he’s not ready, he might never be for all I know. Hell, he might not even come back. Now that he’s done with me, he’s done with everybody in this city but Sherry. Not many reasons to come back.”

“Well then give him a good reason. If you really care.”

“What the fuck is this call for Claire? Don’t you have enough on your plate with Sean?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Chris. I thought you might be interested because Leon is leaving right now, that’s all. Feel free to call me back when you aren’t feeling like a moron anymore.”

With those words, she hung up. Chris stayed in bed for seven seconds before jump off it and putting on shoes. He was probably too drunk to drive, but also drunk enough to think this was a good idea.

Against his better and his not so better judgment, Chris took his Jeep and speed up through the highways on his way to the airport, just like in those silly, cheesy movies he and Leon had watched together.

As usual on a Friday night in DC, the traffic was the worst, which slowed Chris down considerably. Besides being drunk, he probably violated many other circulation laws. As if that was not enough, he left his car in the first spot he could find in the Departures area and then ran to the terminal. God, what was he doing? He was still wearing his suit pants, the untucked shirt, and a very wrinkled jacket. He looked around, looking for the screens, but then he realized he didn’t even know where Leon was going. He texted Claire and Sherry at the same time, asking. Sherry responded. First, Leon was going to London, on a flight that according to the screen, was embarking at that very moment.

This is it, Chris thought. He could either try and get there before the plane left or give up.

With the first ticket he could buy, he skipped the whole line in the security control pulling his badge and then run like he was being chased by hellhounds towards the gate where Leon’d flight shown on the screens.

He had to dodge people and jump over suitcases, even a dog, but he finally could see the sign for the gate. By the time he made it to the door, they were closing the door.

“Wait!” he yelled as he ran. “Don’t close, please.”

“Is this your flight?” the attendant asked.

“No,” Chris said trying to catch his breath, “there is someone there, I need to talk to,”

“Oh. I’m afraid the doors are closed, the plane is leaving now,” she said with a sympathetic smile.

“Can you call them back? I need to-“ As he said that, he saw the plane start moving to throw the floor-to-ceiling airport windows.

“I can’t, they already got a track assigned. I’m sorry,” she said, but Chris wasn’t listening anymore.

He waited until he saw the plane take off. Shortly after the airport security picked him up because the BSAA had no business in the airport currently. He was escorted outside and fined for parking his car how he did and warned to never use his badge like that again. Chris got in the car and sat there for a few minutes, looking at the tiny lights that moved in the sky, wondering if one of those was still Leon’s flight.

He tried to tell himself that it wasn’t the end of the world. They still had phones and Leon probably would be back soon, right? For Christmas at least. He tried to tell himself that it wasn’t the end of the world, but it didn’t matter how hard he tried, it felt like it.


	13. Right Here Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG i know it's been forever and this is hella short, but I've been close to giving up the whole thing bc I suddenly felt insecure AF about the whole story and everything and the gfy and I change the whole idea I had in my head for this bc I wanted to end with a lot less drama but apparently this shit was not believable and it sucked so I tried to fix it and probably made it worse?  
> Anyway, I got my shit partially together and managed to write a few pages but I can't do no more right now bc I'm still a mess, so you have this for now, the stoy ain't ded yet, neither am I, and hopefully soon you'll have juicy smuA NEW CHAPTER.
> 
> ok, bye

The day had come. After what felt like forever with all that planning the rehearsals and the lists, it was finally the wedding day.

Chris had to admit that for a moment he had doubted this day would come after the engagement party went to hell, but lucky for them all, Claire and Sean were able to talk things out and now were husband and wife and were having the biggest wedding Chris had even been to.

Even though Sean’s parents had openly shown dislike for Claire and were against it all, they had also come along and even paid for part of the wedding, which explained some of the unnecessary and extravagant details.

Chris looked around, dinner was finally over, and everybody was gathering in small groups or couples or dancing, but he was alone now that he let the bride and groom go. He scanned the venue trying to find some friendly faces, and all he saw was that all his friends were busy. Jill was having some amusing conversation with Josh by the looks of it, Sherry and Jake were dancing, and Rebecca was getting friendly with one of the groomsmen.

Chris decided he could use some air, so he walked out to the balcony and admired the views. He was now happy Sean had gone the extra mile for the wedding and had gotten what was probably the best place in the DC area for a wedding. The venue was a new construction outside the city, with views of the river and several locations in different gardens. In this case, since they could afford it, they had had appetizers and drinks outside and dinner and dance inside, but the doors were open, and there was even a bar outside.

At that moment Chris would have done anything for a cigarette but he had none, he hadn’t expected wanting one so much. He could probably get one easily though asking any of the other guests. He approached the bar on the balcony, thankful it was less crowded than the one inside.

“Whisky and two shots of tequila,” he ordered. He could almost hear Jill’s voice telling him that it was not a good idea. Chris usually ordered precisely that all those times Jill took him to gay bars right after they broke up and it never ended well for anybody.

“What a shame that someone like you is drinking alone,” the girl behind the bar told him.

“Couldn’t agree more,” someone else said stepping next to Chris. He froze as soon as he hears the voice but he looked anyway. Leon was standing right next to him. So close he could touch him. He looked just perfect, his hair was blonder than last time, and he was wearing a suit that looked designed specifically for his body, embracing every curve seamlessly. “Staring is not polite, Chris,” Leon said with a smile, before stealing one of his tequila shots and downing it.

“What…?

“Claire and Sean invited me. Can you believe it?” He said casually.

“I haven’t heard from you in months and you just… show up here? You could have told me…”

“I guess… but that would have ruined the surprise. Besides, it’s not like you were waiting for me to come back or anything, right? I’ll have the same he ordered,” he told the waitress as soon as she passed nearby them again.

Leon’s words echoed in Chris mind. Had he been waiting for Leon? He didn’t want to admit it, but he had. He had had a few awkward moments with Nick and even had to ask him to leave him alone and tried finding company a few times in clubs, but he managed to go home alone and miserable each time.

Now Leon was back and acting like whatever happened between them half a year ago didn’t matter. He was so stupid. He couldn’t help a sad laugh. Why was he so stupid?

“What’s so funny?” Leon asked before offering Chris one of his tequila shots. Chris took it immediately and downed it before Leon could say whatever toast he wanted to say.

“Nothing. I’m just glad to see you,” Chris lied. He took his remaining shot and drank it too. Then he started with his whiskey.

“So how are you doing?” Leon asked in the awkward silence.

“I’m fine. The usual. But how are _you_ doing? You are the one traveling around the world. I’m sure you have a lot of stories to tell.”

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t say a lot, but for sure a few. Especially from Italy, those people are both crazy and lovely,” Leon told him before being interrupted.

“Oh, here you are, I couldn’t find you!” a guy said, putting his hand on the small of Leon’s back. Chris immediately recognized an accent in the guy's words. Italian. Leon had brought this guy from Italy. All the way to Claire’s wedding. And by the looks of it, he wasn’t just a friend.

“Oh, I just wanted a drink. This is Chris, Chris, this is Stefano,” Chris just nodded in acknowledgment ignoring the hand the guy offered him. The wedding had been fun, but now he just wanted to get out of there.

“It was great to see you, Leon. Have fun in the party,” Chris said before finishing his drink and walking away. Leon followed immediately though.

“Hey! What the hell was that? I haven’t seen you in six months, and you have ten minutes of small talk with me and leave me?”

“You are going to talk about leaving?” Chris snarled turning around. Leon looked at him evidently hurt. Thankfully, they were past the corner and away from most guests, because Chris was sure he had raised his voice and the last thing he needed was to make another scene at any kind of party in his sister’s honor.

“So you are still mad,” Leon mumbled.

“You left me, right when I thought I could have you.”

“I was for the best, Chris, we both needed time to-“

“Time? You come back here with an Italian dude and what? What am I supposed to do? Wait? Again? I’m done waiting for something that’s not gonna-“

“Wait, wait,” Leon interrupted him, putting his hands on Chris’ chest, “just stop right there. I didn’t bring anyone anywhere. Stefano was just one guy sitting on my table at dinner. I confirmed last minute, so Claire just sat me in some shitty table. Stefano is one of the nurses that work with Sean, and yeah we did bond a little over dinner because he knows a lot of juicy stories about other nurses…” Leon explained.

“Oh,” Chris said.

“You were jealous,” Leon said with a small grin. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just happy to see you care.”

“Of course I care, asshole,” Chris said, probably pouting.

“I really wanted to see you. And talk.”

“Are you going back to Europe after the wedding?” Chris asked ignoring Leon’s words.

“I don’t know. I miss this. I miss home. I even missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Chris recognized. He was blushing now. He was acting like a teenager, and Leon’s playful mood wasn’t helping.

“Can we talk? Please?” Leon tried again, “maybe go for a walk?”

“Okay,” Chris accepted.

They started walking towards the gardens together and in complete silence. Leon walked close to him, enough for this arms to brush against each other at times. The further they went from the party, the quiet it all was, until the only noise from the party was weak and in the background.

The gardens were beautiful, even at night. All kind of flowers, the scent of plants, and the dim lights made it the perfect romantic spot to hide from the crowds and have more intimate conversations. Or something else judging for the noises coming from the far corner of the garden. Leon and Chris looked at each other as soon as they heard were probably was a quicky. They laughed in silence and walked in the opposite direction, no need to interrupt them.

“Listen,” Leon started at last, “during this months, I’ve missed you, a lot, but I’m not going to lie to you. I want to be clear from the start. No more miscommunications.”

“Okay…” Chris accepted tentatively. This couldn’t be good.

“I’ve met people in Europe. I’ve… slept with other people. I even… slept with men.”

The silence that followed that admission felt cold at first. What did that mean? Chris leaned on the railing, looking towards the views in front of him.

“Did you like it?” he asked, not looking at Leon.

“Yeah.”

“Then I’m glad, Leon.”

“Chris…” Leon called him. Chris felt Leon’s hand on his cheek, making him turn to look at him. It was dark, too dark to see clearly, but Chris could see Leon’s features in the dim moonlight perfectly. He remembered that face by heart. Without any notice, Leon leaned in, pressing his lips lightly against Chris’. He welcomed the contact. Soft, warm lips against his. Even with the little action he had gotten in the past few months, he was almost sure that he hadn’t kissed anyone since Leon, not in the lips at least, so he tried to make the best of it.

He held Leon in place putting his hands on the blonde’s hips, deepening the kiss and demanding more. Leon immediately surrendered, opening his mouth letting Chris explore it. Chris felt a bit lightheaded, all he drank kicking in at once. Leon was now nipping at his bottom lip and sucking it in, and Chris couldn’t do anything but allow it, before trying to take charge of the kiss again. Little by little he pushed Leon against the closest wall until he had the blonde corned.

“Hey,” Leon said when they both stopped, breathing heavily.

“Hey,” Chris responded now lightly pressing his forehead against Leon’s, just craving any contact.

“What’s gonna happen now?” Leon said in almost a purr, arching and moving his hips forward, “Are you mad I slept with other people?”

“No. You had no reason not to,” Chris whispered in response, “I’m a bit glad you had the chance to experiment without any pressure.”

“Uh-huh,” Leon mumbled. Chris laughed. Judging for what was poking into his leg, Leon was done talking.

“So, I happen to have a room in the-“

“Let’s go,” Leon said pushing Chris away from him so he could move away from the wall.

“Just like that?”

“I want to be alone with you right now and with a bed sounds a lot better,” Leon said casually putting his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and waiting for Chris to join him in the small path that led back to the main building.

Chris did want Leon in his room, what he didn’t want was the curious looks and to be stopped and questioned, so he went first and told Leon the room number. As soon as he got there, all his usual anxiety came back, and he started wondering what if Leon didn’t show up? What if he met someone more interesting on his way upstairs?

Before he had time for more what ifs there was a knock on the door. He hurried to open and find Leon leaning on the door frame and holding a bottle of champagne.

“Look what I stole,” he said. Chris looked at Leon and then and the bottle. Then back at Leon, right before of dragging him into the room by his tie.

 

In just seconds, all clothes were discarded, and the bottle was opened and forgotten on a nightstand. Chris was holding onto Leon for dear life, licking and nipping at every inch of exposed skin he could reach. He vaguely heard Leon’s moans and whimpers whenever he got to close to a very sensitive area. Eventually, Leon pulled on Chris' hair trying to make him go back to his eye level, and Chris obliged.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Leon said, as he spread his legs finally letting Chris accommodate between them. Chris could feel Leon’s naked skin burning against his from his chest to his toes and his erection hard against his belly.

“Good,” Chris replied, his voice hoarse with lust. After that, Leon lifted his head to kiss Chris again. With that kiss, it all started again, but this time it was gentler. Chris kept exploring Leon’s body as he’d been doing while Leon encouraged him with soft humming and gentle hands on his hair. When Chris got to Leon’s crotch, he stopped to take at Leon once more before taking him in his mouth. Leon nodded and smiled at Chris, trying to forget what happened last time they did this exact same thing.

But this time it was so different. None of them was that drunk, and both of them were openly seeking this. Leon moaned loudly, repeating Chris’ name over and over while Chris sucked and hollowed his cheeks. He wanted to make Leon remember this now that he had other guys to compare him with.

“Chris, you need to stop that right now, unless you want to swallow a load,” Leon whimpered, pulling on Chris’ hair again.

“Do you want me to?” Chris asked, letting Leon’s cock fall sloppily from his mouth. Leon squinted as if he was considering.

“Spitters are quitters,” Leon said with a grin. Chris smiled back and then proceeded to make Leon beg and moan until he came undone and down his throat. He licked the blond clean and then just observed. Leon was breathing heavily like he had just finished a marathon, and he had an arm over his face, hiding his expression.

By then Chris was hard as ever, but he was now scared he’d gone too far or that Leon would be done now that the had come. He crawled back to lie next to Leon and waited.

“That was amazing,” Leon said at last but didn’t move his arm. Chris didn’t know what to say. Could he ask for some help too? Maybe a helping hand would do, in as much as it was Leon, it would be great.

He probably stayed quiet too long, and that made Leon lift his arm to look at him.

“Are you okay? Was it weird for you? After last time, I mean,” Leon said.

“It was great. I loved every second of it,” Chris responded finally seeing Leon’s face. Leon was gorgeous right then. His hair as a mess and he had still had some blush in his cheeks, and his eyes were still shiny.

“Should I take care of this then?” Leon asked, while his hand traveled down Chris' belly to end up groping him. Chris moaned as soon as Leon touched him, and he couldn’t help to thrust into his hand. “I got you,” Leon said.

Chris stole one more kiss as he felt Leon’s hand start stroking him. For a second he feared Leon would reject the kiss to avoid tasting himself, but the blonde didn’t and pulled Chris closer with his free hand. It felt like a dream, or like he was high.

“Tell me what you want, Chris,” Leon asked in a whisper in the small space between their mouths.

“Just this, just you,” Chris whined, following Leon’s hand with his hips, trying to get his own release.

“Baby, you deserve more than a handjob,” Leon purred, and Chris melted, both because of what Leon said and because how he said it.

“I don’t have condoms or lube,” Chris told him.

“Oh,” Leon said, frowning, but not stopping the rhythm of his hand up and down Chris’ erection, “Well there’s something else we can do then.”

This time it was Chris’ turn to frown, but he didn’t have much time before Leon straddled his hips and started rubbing himself on Chris, getting the most delicious friction.

“Fuck,” Chris moaned, holding Leon’s hips as he moved on top of him. Dry humping had never felt this good, Chris thought as Leon changed positions so Chris now painfully hard erection was now being rubbed against the blonde’s hardening cock. The agent was probably enjoying this too.

Chris starting moving his own hips as if he was fucking Leon, seeking all the contact and friction possible and chasing his own orgasm while Leon allowed Chris to use his body to get the best out of it.

Sooner rather than later, Chris came between their bodies making a mess. Leon sighed then and slowly let himself fall on top of Chris, not minding the sweat and other body fluids at all. For a few instants, all they could hear was their own breathes, getting slower and even.

He didn’t realize he had fallen asleep until he suddenly woke up. Chris was lying naked in bed, chest, and abs still covered in now dried cum, and what was worse, completely alone.

He knew what had happened, he remembered it all, and yet he didn’t understand. Or at least he didn’t want to. Why? Why would Leon leave? He felt his heart break all over again. Why did he keep trying and trying and always tripping over the same stone? Was he ever going to learn that Leon would never-

“Oh, shit, you are awake,” he heard Leon say almost at the same time he heard the door of the room open and close. The room was mostly dark now, but he could see Leon’s form until the blonde turned on the lights, “I had to beg Helena to drive me to the gas station because I have no car and she wouldn’t let me drive because ‘I’m drunk,’” he said quoting. Leon was dressed in his suit pants and shirt, not wearing his tie or jacket, and was carrying a paper bag. He was busy taking off his shoes, but when he was done and looked at Chris, he froze. “What’s wrong?” He said dropping the bag and sitting on the bed next to Chris.

“Nothing,” Chris said, realizing too late his voice sounded weird because of the lump on his throat. He felt Leon thumbs on his cheeks, cleaning away tears Chris hadn’t realized that were falling. “Shit, sorry,” Chris said now embarrassed for crying.

“You thought I left left,” Leon said, “After we slept together.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m back now, and I have supplies…” Leon said standing again and picking up the bag. “I had to tell Helena what I needed and who I was using it with. I made her promise she wouldn’t tell, but I’m pretty sure everybody knows by now,” Leon was saying as he took off his remaining clothes.

“You are different,” Chris voiced a thought.

“Am I?” Leon asked finally naked again as he made his way back to bed.

“Yeah. You seem carefree, happier. Like-“

“Like what?” Leon asked sitting next to Chris and making sure their bodies touched.

“I don’t know, like being away is good for you,” Chris admitted sadly. It was true that this was one of the rare times he had seen Leon look his age, act carefree and not like he had the weight of the world over his shoulders. If being in Europe had had this effect on Leon, maybe it was for the best that the blonde stayed away.

“It’s been good, but I think I might be ready to come back.”

“Are you sure?” Chris asked, getting more comfortable.

“I miss home.”

“Just home?” Chris asked hopefully with a smirk.

“Are you fishing?”

“Maybe a little. My self-esteem is pretty bad, and I could use a kind word,” Chris admitted, only half-joking.

“Okay, then,” Leon said, following Chris to laying position, “you are cute. And selfless. And kind even when you have no reason to be. And hot,” he said laughing and making Chris laugh too. “And you never gave up on me. Not even when I broke your heart.”

Chris remained silent, not knowing what to say. Leon had blushed but didn’t take his eyes away from Chris’. Chris felt warm and safe right then, like finally he got whatever it was he had been looking for for so long.

“So, want to use those supplies?”


	14. Like a Virgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay, I seem unable to write more than a few lines at a time and I had no idea of what I was doing.
> 
> Sorry also for any and all typos, I'm sure you'll find some but grammarly is not perfect.

Leon felt Chris’ hand on his hip, caressing his skin and bringing him closer. There was a smile on his face, one Leon didn’t remember ever seeing before. It was such a relief after seeing Chris’ brokenhearted all over again just a few minutes ago.

“What do you want to do with those?” Chris asked carefully nodding towards the bag. Even then Chris was cautious. Leon had meant every word he’d told the other man that night. He’d missed him, he wanted Chris back in his life, and yes, he definitely thought Chris was hot and cute and kind.

“I want you to do what you have been wanting to do all this time,” Leon said, hoping that sounded sexy and not awkward. He really meant to give Chris everything that night and show him he was serious about this.

In front of him, Chris seemed to think about it for a second before he rolled over, pining Leon to the bed. They both went for a kiss at the same time, making his heads bump in the process.

“Ouch,” Leon said rubbing his and then Chris forehead with his hand. Chris laughed and then tried to kiss him again, this time without incidents.

Leon let Chris kiss him and pin him to the bed. If this is what Chris wanted and how he wanted it, Leon was okay with it.

“How would you like to…?” Chris asked after stopping, putting some distance between them so he could look at Leon.

“Ahm, I’m not sure,” Leon offered. It was true he had had experience with other guys, but he’d never done what he supposed that he was about to do.

“Whatever you like is fine by me,” Chris said.

“I don’t know what I like. I haven’t…”

“What?”

“So, here’s the thing,” Leon said sitting and making Chris sit back as well, “I slept with some guys and I fucked them, but I have not been… on the receiving end of things. Yet.”

He so Chris process this information and then nod twice before speaking again.

“That’s okay, you can fuck me if you prefer,” Chris said shrugging but Leon could see what might have been a disappointment on his face. That was not what Leon was aiming for.

“No, no, that’s not what I mean. I want you to be… the first guy to…do that.”

“Oh,” Chris said with renovated hope in his eyes. It was amazing to see how Chris reacted to everything. He was letting Leon see every raw emotion and Leon couldn’t help to want to make him smile over and over. Like just then. Chris smiled blushed. “It would be an honor to be your first,” he joked.

“Yeah? Well, I’ll need some help so…,” Leon said, finally taking the bag. He emptied the contents on the bed next to them and grabbed the lube.

“Do you want me to do it?” Chris asked, offering his hand to take the lube from Leon’s.

“Yeah,” Leon replied, letting Chris take the gel from him.

“I think it’s better if you lay back while I get you ready,” Chris said, still blushing. Leon did as told and laid back, spreading his legs to allow Chris access to his entrance. He observed as Chris uncapped the tube and poured lube on his fingers, rubbing them together before finally lowering his hand.

At first, he felt the first finger just probing him, trying to break the resistance softly until it was inside him to the first knuckle. Little by little he felt how Chris pushed a bit deeper and deeper, and how his finger moved inside him, trying to loosen the tight muscles. Without any notice, Chris' finger went deeper, putting pressure in a specific point inside him that felt like an electric shock through his spine. Leon moaned in surprise, earning a grin from Chris.

“Found it,” the man said. Leon’s breath caught when Chris did it again, and again. He felt Chris fingers opening his entrance more and more with a pleasurable burning sensation, but also the pleasure from that pressure in the right spot.

Leon felt exposed, just letting Chris see him like that, touch him like that. He wanted Chris to take him and to do it soon.

“Now,” he moaned.

“You are not ready, baby,” Chris said, scissoring his fingers inside Leon, “I don’t want to hurt you.” Leon sat up, leaning back on his elbows, trying to get closer to Chris in any way possible.

“I can’t wait anymore,” Leon moaned, moving his hips in time with Chris’ fingers.

“Just a little bit longer,” Chris told him, moving his other hand from Leon’s thigh to his leaking cock. Leon welcomed the contact, thrusting into Chris’ hand.

Leon noticed that Chris was hurrying up now, more focused on preparing him than his pleasure. The burning sensation was more intense as he felt now three fingers sliding in and out of him.

“Please,” Leon tried again. This time, Chris removed his fingers and let go of him.

“Alright,” Chris said, but then he moved away, leaving the spot between Leon’s legs, “since it’s your first time, it’ll be better if you are on top,” Chris said shyly, sitting next to him. Leon was confused and to be honest, a bit disappointed. He had to admit he was hoping Chris would take him just like that, and the idea of bottoming from the top made him feel exposed. But Chris would know best.

“Okay…” Leon said finally, straddling Chris slowly.

“I want you to be in control and to stop anytime if you need to, okay?”

“Yeah,” Leon replied. Now things were getting a bit awkward. Only then Leon took the time to actually look at Chris body. The man was ripped, and every single part of his body was proportionated, which means that Leon was now slightly worried about the size.

“We don’t have to-“

“I just need a minute,” Leon interrupted Chris, “It seems.. bigger now,” Leon pointed at Chris now raging erection.

“This is the first time in my life that I find those words inconvenient,” Chris said.

Leon took a deep breath and positioned himself just in the right angle and reached back seeking Chris’ cock. Chris helped him immediately guiding his hand. Chris skin was warm to the touch and slick with sweat.

“Wait, baby, we need a condom and lot more lube,” Chris said handing him the gel while he took one of the small tin foils.

“Can you do it?”

“Of course,” Chris said before he sat up, being suddenly just a few inches from Leon. Chris opened the small foil packet with his mouth and put on the condom maneuvering around Leon. Then he retrieved the lube from Leon’s hands and poured a generous amount on his hand, “We can stop any moment, and we don’t have to do anything,” Chris reminded him once more.

“Stop saying that, I want to do it,”

“But you seem scared,” Chris said. They were in a pretty intimate position, with Leon sitting on Chris lap and Chris sitting up, their faces just inches apart.

“I still want to,” Leon whispered, putting his hands on Chris’ neck before kissing him softly. That seemed to work because he could feel Chris hands moving behind him and shortly after, back between his cheeks spreading more lube.

“Are you ready?” Chris asked still brushing his lips against Leon’s. Leon simply nodded and let Chris find his entrance. Chris rubbed himself against Leon’s crease, teasing with the tip but not putting any pressure yet. Leon moaned in something that resembled agony. In an attempt to get it inside him, Leon moved his hips, sitting back and forcing Chris erection against his now well-lubed hole.

He gasped loudly as soon as the head of Chris’ cock breached him. Chris froze and held Leon’s hips, preventing him from moving.

“Woah,” Chris panted, “Slow now,” he said letting go slightly of Leon’s hips. Leon didn’t move though, he was feeling that burning sensation again, but now it was ten times stronger. Leon took a couple of deep breaths while looking at Chris. The older man was in awe, and it was showing in his face. Like he had just seen a unicorn or just something impossible that had just happened in front of his eyes.

That melted Leon’s heart and gave him the courage to try to move and take Chris deeper. Little by little, inch by inch, Leon impaled himself, taking deep breaths and concentrating on Chris reassuring words whispered right to his ears. As soon as Chris was buried inside him, Leon sighed loudly, making them both giggle weakly while trying to remain as still as possible.

“Are you alright?” Chris asked, his voice trembling slightly. Leon nodded, not sure how he’d sound if he tried to speak. He took a couple more of deep breaths and decided to focus on Chris’ worried but loving brown eyes. The man had it bad for him, and now Leon could see how much. Chris had always looked at him that way. Like he wanted to say something else, like just seeing Leon made his day better. He wished he had known before to avoid all the heartbreak.

After endless seconds and some more breathing exercises, Leon moved, just a little. It was definitely a tight fit, but he was getting used to the pressure.

“Slowly,” Leon murmured to himself. Chris' hands rested on his hips, not putting pressure, just a reassuring touch. Leon looked down, between the two of them and Chris followed. Leon was nervous and uncomfortable at the moment, so his erection was gone by then, but as soon as Chris noticed, he offered a helping hand.

“Just do whatever feels good,” Chris told him, as he started stroking him.

With small and tentative movements, Leon raised his hips a few inches and then lowered them, experimenting angles and deepness. And then he found it.

He gasped, feeling as if an electric current just went through his spine. And then he did it again, and again and again. Chris' hand was still pumping his now hardened cock and trying to follow Leon’s movements, chasing his rhythm.

Leon was so immersed in this new pleasure he had just discovered that he chased his own release, riding Chris in whatever angle felt better. Soon he could feel the familiar sensation, the warmness and edge of his imminent orgasm, he was so close. But then he stopped moving.

“Why did you stop?” Chris asked immediately

“I’m close,” Leon replied, short of breath. Chris looked back at him, obviously confused. “Is it good? For you too, I mean?”

“Yeah,” Chis said. They were both worked up and catching their breaths, and yet, he could see Chris' cheeks blush into a deeper shade of red “Anything with you feels good.”

“Just needed to make sure,” Leon replied. Chris smiled his pretty smile again and leaned in for a kiss before surprising Leon with a swift thrust that hit just on the right spot, making him moan loudly, “Do that again,” Leon pretty much commanded.

“With pleasure.”

It was different then. Leon was now more used to it, and it was evident that Chris knew what he was doing. Leon had to hold onto Chris' shoulders while Chris tried to keep the blonde’s hips in place to thrust in harder and faster.

After a few minutes, Chris held Leon closer to himself only to turn them both around and put Leon’s back against the mattress.

“Is this okay?” He asked huskily. Leon nodded rapidly, arching his body wanting more.

In this new position, Leon felt less exposed but at Chris mercy. Now it was the older man the one on top and the one doing most of the work. Leon was a bit lost a first, not sure of what to do now, but as soon as Chris resumed the coupling, Leon followed the small cues Chris was leaving him.

First Chris leaned on his elbows, making their bodies touch, so Leon held onto his hips, taking the chance to appreciate Chris’ well-sculpted buttocks. Then, Chris placed his head on the hollow of his neck, so Leon turned his head to give the other man better access. He could suddenly feel teeth on his skin.

The rhythm had changed once more, and it was slower and more intimate now. Leon could still feel the edge but it wasn’t imminent anymore, and he’d need some more stimulation to come. Chris seemed concentrated in keeping the right angle and Leon couldn’t help to reach for his own erection.

“Baby, please,” Leon begged.

“I cannot hold on much longer either,” Chris laughed.

And that was soon proven to be true.

The next few minutes were like a blur. Leon’s orgasm felt like a tide washing over his whole body. He felt then warm and sated. At peace.

He barely minded Chris climaxing on top of him or when he moved to lay in bed next to him.

“Are you okay?” Chris' voice brought him back. He must have fallen asleep.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? Are you sore?” They remained silent for one second before laughing.

“Yes and no. I just dozed off. That was unexpectedly intense,” Leon said, laying on his side to look at Chris.

“It was fucking incredible,” Chris said, turning on his side to face Leon as well, “It was all I ever dreamed and more. I just-“ Leon smiled when Chris couldn’t find the words.

“It was like that for me too.”

“You don’t understand,” Chris said leaning on his elbow. He looked ready to explain a conspiracy theory, but Leon interrupted him.

“Dude, you just took my virginity, don’t you dare to tell me it was more special for you than for me,” Chris was dumbfounded. They remained quiet and looking at each other for a couple of seconds longer, “It was amazing. Really. But I really want to take a nap right now,” Leon said finishing the sentence with a yawn. Chris nodded and moved closer, cuddling Leon.

This is precisely what he wanted, and he was so thankful he didn’t need to ask for it because Chris just knew. Almost as soon as they curled around each other, Leon closed his eyes, ready to sleep, with a silly but unavoidable smile on his lips.

* * *

 

Chris was sure he had barely slept for most of the night. Just too nervous or excited. He was so aware of Leon resting between his arms after they made love for a second time the night before. During his sleepless night, he had time to go through so many things. What would happen now? Would he and Leon date? Leon had said things last night that made Chris hope and want more, but how much could he really expect? He also had time to wonder what happened after he and Leon abandoned the party. He knew Claire and Sean were going nowhere with Claire being pregnant, and the party was, for the most part, dying down when they left.

Chris was deep in thought, wondering what should he do next when Leon mumbled in his sleep and turned, facing Chris now. For most of the night, Chris has just been plastered against Leon’s back, the blonde really was tired. Chris hadn’t realized, but Leon must have been pretty jet-lagged, so he was not surprised that the blonde was out for the count.

Now he could see his face, he couldn’t help himself, reaching for a strand of hair that was falling on Leon’s face. As carefully as he could in that position and the proximity between him and Leon, Chris tried to move his hair back to look at Leon’s sleeping features.

The same as the night before, Chris got that same impression of Leon looking younger, healthier, happier. He seemed so calm and relaxed just then that Chris almost cursed when he accidentally brushed the blonde’s cheek with a finger, waking Leon up.

The blonde only opened his eyes slightly before smiling.

“Hey,” he mumbled.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” Chris whispered in response. Leon stretched and yawned, getting comfortable again between his arms.

“It’s fine,” the blonde said at last, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Chris lied. Leon stared at him and then squinted.

“Why are you lying?” he asked as he sat up. This caught Chris by surprise.

“What?”

“Chris, you look tired. You obviously didn’t sleep much. What’s wrong?” Chris couldn’t help noticing concern in Leon’s tone.

“Nothing, I promise,” Chris said, his words doing nothing to erase the frown in Leon’s face.

“Do you regret last night?”

“NO!” Chris claimed, sitting up immediately, startling Leon, “of course not! I’m just… nervous. That’s all.”

“Nervous about what?”

“About this. Us. Was it a one-time thing? Are we gonna… date now? I don’t want it to be over,” Chris said, the last few words lower.

“Chris, I told you last night, I want to be back. I missed you. I want this. I want you,” Leon assured him. Chris hated being this insecure and hated even more how much he needed Leon to repeat that and how good it felt to hear it. Leon placed a hand on his chin and made him lift his face, so they were eye to eye, “You are not getting rid of me any time soon, you got it?”

Chris smiled, probably his goofiest smile and nodded before letting Leon kiss him.

“So, were you watching me sleep?” Leon asked in between kisses.

“No,” Chris lied again.

“You are a terrible liar.”

“I don’t like you at all,” Chris smiled, still nipping and nibbling Leon’s lower lip.

“Stop lying,” Leon laughed. Chris pushed the agent back down on the bed, following and laying on top of him.

It was like a dream, to just lie in bed and make out for endless minutes. He could feel Leon’s naked skin under his fingertips, the warmth from his body, his breath on his neck. It was all idyllic until Leon’s roaring stomach interrupted them.

“I didn’t eat much last night, to be honest,” Leon explained. Chris chuckled and moved, letting Leon sit up.

“In that case, we should go and get breakfast before they close the buffet.”

Chris left the bed and went to the bathroom. He, actually they both, needed a shower. Maybe Leon would like to join? He was starting it and about to ask when Leon surprised him with hands on his midsection.

“So I heard it didn’t rain much this year in this area. We should save water,” the blonde told him resting his head on Chris' shoulder. Chris grinned and nodded.

“Well, it’s for a good cause but, you never need an excuse to jump in the shower with me.”

“Good to know,” Leon said, as he pushed Chris towards the spray, getting them both wet instantly.

The playful hands that had been on Chris' hips found their way down to his hardening cock. Leon sucked the soft skin on his neck and shoulder as he stroked him, ignoring the water falling on them. It didn’t take long before Chris had to brace himself on the tiled wall moaning and calling Leon’s name.

In the end, what was supposed to be a quick shower took them a lot longer than expected after Chris insisted in returning the favor.

He regretted going down on his knees afterward though, he wasn’t that young anymore, but he was not complaining, it was worth it.

Once they were both fresh out of the shower, Chris started dressing up with the spare clothes in his bag.

“Hey, can I borrow maybe a t-shirt?” Leon asked.

“Sure,” Chris said rummaging through his back looking for something he could give Leon. It’s not like any of it was going to fit the leaner man, but maybe a basic t-shirt would do, “Here,” he said handing a white shirt.

Leon ended up wearing last night suit but with a t-shirt and the sleeves of his now wrinkled jacket rolled up. In Chris honest opinion, he looked great. His opinion might be biased though.

They left the room and headed to the saloon where the hotel offered breakfast just less than an hour before they stopped serving it. As it was expected, the hall was crowded with many guests from the wedding who had chosen to spend the night, and awkwardly enough, as soon as Chris and Leon entered the room together, there was a very awkward and generalized silence. Until they heard the “oh my god.”

“That was fast,” Claire said from a table close to the bar. For a second there, Chris wasn’t sure if she sounded pissed, disappointed or just surprised.

“Hey,” Chris said stupidly, approaching the table with Leon, who remained silent. Claire was sitting with his now-husband, Sherry, what looked like a very hangover Jake and, dramatic pause, Nick.

“So, this is happening? Again? Still?” Claire asked. Chris recognized her frowning immediately as friendly and joking.

“Apparently,” Chris said trying to ignore the daggers coming from Nick’s eyes. Leon was full on staring at the nurse though, and suddenly too close to Chris.

“You should get something before they close the kitchen guys,” Sean recommended, discreetly looking the silent interaction between Leon and Nick.

“Yeah, you were hungry right?” Chris told Leon, before pushing him away from the table and in the general direction of the buffet bar.

“What do you feel like?” Chris asked getting Leon a plate.

“Nick looked pissed,” Leon said bluntly.

“Well, it was pretty awkward after you left,” Chris explained. They walked by the bar, filling their plates while Chris told Leon had he had had to ask Nick to leave him alone after a few awkward encounters.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with all that,” Leon said as he topped his cupcakes with waffles and more bacon.

“It’s not your fault. I’m the one who slept with him while… well… you know. I should have not done that.”

“Still. I feel like if I had let you go… If I hadn’t clang on you, I would have spared us all a whole lot of pain and suffering.”

“Oh, so me having a massive crush on you and dating someone else is better?” Chris asked with a smile.

“No,” Leon said pushing Chris, “but I hurt you, and Claire, and Sean… and Nick.”

“I have my part of guilt in all that. Now,” Chris said eyeing Leon’s breakfast, “let’s find somewhere to sit so you can clog your veins with cholesterol.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Leon asked, following him.

They couldn’t find any free tables nearby so they had to go to the other side of the room, where they could finally sit and eat. Leon must have been truly hungry since for the first five minutes he just ate all his bacon, pancakes and waffles without saying a word. Chris meanwhile drank some juice and got some coffee for them both.

“Thanks,” Leon said with a mouthful of scrambled eggs when Chris handed him the coffee.

“No problem.”

“So,” Leon said, after taking a sip of coffee, “when are you going back to DC?”

“Uh, I was going to go back after breakfast. I have to work tomorrow,” Chris replied.

“Do you happen to have room in your car for me? I took a taxi here and to be honest I’d like to go home soon. I probably have a lot to do.”

“Sure, I can give you a ride,” Chris offered.

“Great, thanks. There’s one more thing I might need though,” Leon added.

“Hm?”

“There you are!” Helena’s voice interrupted them.

“I was looking for you,” she said, sitting on their table with her breakfast.

“For me?” Leon asked.

“Well yeah, you made me drive you to a gas station in the middle of the night to buy condoms. I expected a bit of gratitude and maybe a report.”

“First of all, I didn’t make you drive me, I only asked for your car but you didn’t trust me and decided to drive yourself, and second, Chris is right here,” Leon said pointing at him.

“Right. Hi, Chris.”

“Hi.”

“Did you guys had fun las nigh-“

“Helena,” Leon warned.

“I was gonna say if you had fun in the party, asshole. I know you had fun in bed, Jill was next door to Chris. She says you guys are noisy as fuck.”

“I hate you,” Leon said. Chris remained silent and drank his coffee wishing he it was something stronger.

“I love your sister, but the food last night was shit,” Helena said while she cut through a pancake.

“I know, I skipped dinner too,” Leon said.

“The free bar was nice though, too bad we had to drink on an empty stomach.”

Leon and Helena kept that sort of friendly banter for the rest of their breakfast until Leon and Chris stood up to leave.

The said their goodbyes to everyone and then stopped by Claire’s table again.

“Are you leaving already?” She said, standing as well to hug Chris.

“Yeah, I have things to do, and Leon needs a ride,” Chris explained hugging her back.

“Okay. Be careful,” She turned to Leon and hugged him as well to everyone’s surprise.

“Congratulations again, Claire,” Leon said to her and Sean, who smiled in return. Chris tried to avoid looking at Nick and made sure to take Leon’s hand and dragging him away once they said goodbye to everyone.

After that, they took their belongings and loaded them in Chris’ car and then left the venue. They were quiet for most of the trip, but it wasn’t an awkward silence, for the most part, or so Chris hoped.

Eventually, Chris was navigating the streets, getting closer and closer to Leon’s apartment. He was not very happy about having to drop Leon off, but he guessed he didn’t have a choice.

He stopped the car in front of the building and faced Leon.

“Well, this is me,” Leon said.

“Yeah.”

“Listen-“

“Look-“ Chris said at the same time, making them laugh, “sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was gonna say, that I’d like to see you again soon. I’ll probably be busy a day or two settling down, getting back to work here and all that but, maybe we can have lunch this week?”

“I’d love that,” Chris said. If he was honest, he would admit that he was a little disappointed. He wanted to spend more time with Leon, talk some more, hear those stories from Europe.

“Good. I’ll call you later. And maybe we can talk some more?” Chris nodded, and without any notice, Leon leaned over and kissed him, a few times, and then smiled at him before getting off the car.

Chris watched him walk into the building and waited until he was inside before driving away, smiling and with a tingling sensation still on his lip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reeeeeeeeading. 
> 
> It seems that there'll be one more chapter or an epilogue or something.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filthy trash, I call it closure.
> 
> Also, Fin.
> 
> That's all folks.
> 
> Thaaaanks for keeping up with my shit for this long, it was a pleasure to share this one last story with y'all.

Time flies when you are surrounded by the people you love and having fun. Or so had Chris heard somewhere. Seemed to be true.

Since Leon came back, months had passed before he could realize and things had changed so much. One of the most significant changes was the fact that he was an uncle now. Shortly after the wedding, Claire and Sean had welcomed their baby, a girl. Now the small Diana was the star in all gatherings, and of course, thanksgivings was no exception.

So far that day had been perfect for Chris. Starting by having the whole day off and waking up to Leon straddling him in bed. They ended up spending the best part of the morning there, only to then have to hurry and cook for dinner at Claire’s.

They showed up late-ish, being the last ones arriving. Every single person made a joke about it, but Chris and Leon couldn’t care any less. Especially because they were all right, they were late because things got unexpectedly frisky in the shower.

Thanksgivings at Claire’s was loud, crazy and at times there would be arguments, but Chris supposed that all families were the same, even the ones that were not blood.

“What’s going on up there?” Leon’s sleepy voice said next to him. They had eaten and drank and then eaten some more and now they were all collapsing on the couches with a food coma.

“Nothing, just thinking,” Chris said, getting comfortable and using Leon’s shoulder as a pillow.

“About?”

“Family,” Chris replied. He looked around. Barry was sleeping, snoring actually, on one of the armchairs, and Jake was about to do the same in the other one. Sherry, Sean, and Claire were nowhere to be seen, they were probably somewhere else with the baby. Meanwhile, Kathy, Jill, and the girls were still sitting at the table discussing the strategy for later in the day, since Black Friday apparently required a plan now.

“Hey,” Leon called him again.

“Hm? Am I too heavy?” Chris said moving so he wouldn’t lay his weight on Leon’s shoulder.

“No,” Leon said, placing his head against Chris’, “did you have fun today?”

“Yeah. It was the best,” Chris said, looking for Leon’s hand. As soon as he found it, Leon squeezed back.

“Hey, guys,” Claire said coming back to the living room, “would you be the best and help me clean up? Just doing the dishes and clearing the table. Sean’s parents suddenly decided to come and visit after all,” Claire explained, obviously not thrilled about her in-laws visiting.

“Okay, chop chop, sugar foot, gotta help me with the dishes,” Chris said, standing in one swift move.

“Nooo,” Leon whined, laying on the whole couch now that Chris had vacated the seat.

“Come on,” Chis said as he took on of Leon’s hands, making him stand up as well.

He had to drag Leon to the kitchen and give him a towel so he could dry dishes once Chris had washed them. They did the dishes as Jill and Claire brought them, joking and laughing about whatever silly thing Chris had said.

“Never thought I’d be excited about Christmas again,” Leon said thoughtfully.

“Why?”

“You might have felt the same in the past. With no family and not many people to count on, Christmas is just another day,” Leon said.

“You have a family now. And you have me. I want you to be excited about it. I am,” Chris admitted. He really was. He was going to ask Leon to move in together, maybe they could find a new place where they could start a life together. He didn’t want to rush things and had given himself a goal, to wait until Christmas. Things were going great so far, and they spend every other night together and usually the weekends as well, but that wasn’t enough for Chris anymore.

“I know silly, that’s why I’m excited this year,” Leon said. He placed the last dish in the rack with the others and then got into Chris’ space, placing his hands on Chris' hips, “I can’t wait to see your face when I give you the gifts I got you.”

“You bought me something?” Chris asked stupidly. To be fair, Leon was too close, and he had _the look_. Leon chuckled before moving one of his hands to Chris’ neck to pull him closer for a kiss.

Leon’s kiss was just a quick peck on the lips, but Chris ambushed him, catching Leon by surprise and deepening the kiss. One of the things Chris liked the most about Leon was this, that he would just let Chris’ kiss him to his heart’s content. He still remembered the night where they talked for hours after making love and Chris admitted he liked kissing just for the sake of it, but he usually didn’t get the chance to do it. He could still see Leon’s sad expression turn decided before promising him that he would always let him kiss him, as much as he wanted.

“You are smiling,” Leon said before Chris kissed him again.

“Of course I am,” Chris replied quickly so he could go back to nipping and licking. Leon, as he promised that night, let him do so, and probably would have allowed it for much longer if they hadn’t been interrupted.

“Oh my God, guys, you had to do the dishes, not each other!” Jill yelled from the door, “Also the in-laws from hell are here.”

“I heard you, Jill,” Sean called from the hall.

Leon and Chris tired to smooth their shirts and looks as presentable as possible. Not that it mattered, Sean parents had had enough of Chris the second they found out he had ditched Nick.

They greeted them, as nicely as one could when a woman you barely know looks at you as if you were a dumpster on fire. As soon as they made it to the leaving room, leaving Leon and Chris behind in the kitchen, they turned to look at each other.

“Bail?” Leon whispered.

“I already started the car,” Chris said showing the car keys and the controls to start the car remotely. Quietly but quickly, they took their coats and made it to the door before saying loud goodbyes and closing the door before anyone could reply.

They got on the car, and Chris sped up, just like they were fleeing a crime scene.

They were both out of breath and cold, even the short run from the house to the car had been enough to freeze their skin. Chris turned on the heating and Leon got comfortable on his seat.

“Do you want to go home? I mean to my place? Or yours?” Chris corrected himself immediately.

“Yeah, your place. You have all the good stuff,” Leon said. Chris knew he meant the food.

“You want to do any shopping? Maybe we can join the girls later?”

“Sounds good, but a nap first,” Leon said yawning. Chris nodded.

He drove in silence for a while, assuming Leon had fallen asleep already. He liked how empty the roads were. The calm before the storm. People would be still recovering from dinner and about to get ready to hit the road for some Black Friday craze. But right now, everything was still empty and quiet. It started snowing again, and by the looks of it, it would snow the rest of the night. It wasn’t the first snow of the year, it had snowed already that same week, giving DC a nice white layer of snow. Chris was once again lost in his own thoughts when Leon’s voice startled him.

“I liked the sound of that?”

“Hm?” Chris mumbled, confused.

“When you said ‘home.’ I like home. With you. Home should be where you are.” Leon said, now turning to look at Chris. He had just stopped on a red light, so he took the chance to look at Leon.

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course.”

So many things where thru Chris head at once. What should he say now?

“But I’m moving to your place. Because you have all the good stuff. Also, Munchie has grown fond of you now,” Leon explained.

“Leon, your cat hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“So, when would you like to move?” Chris said, ignoring the lie about the cat and starting the car as soon as the light turned.

“What about next week? I’m free on the weekend,” Leon said.

“I might be able to get it off too,” Chris said, more to himself than to contribute to the conversation, “You really want to move in with me?”

“Huh? Why wouldn’t I? We spent a lot of time together, and we both have stuff on each other’s place. I’m done with not knowing if my blue shirt is in your place or in mine. And also I hate it when I sleep alone. You ruined sleeping alone for me, Chris,” for a second there, Chris almost apologized, but he chuckled instead.

“I can say the same thing of you, Le.”

“Good,” Leon said.

“Good.”

“Stop smiling like that,” Leon said, smiling himself.

“I’m sorry, I cannot help it,” Chris laughed, “You just made me really happy.”

“I know,” Leon said, reaching for Chris' hand.

With that, it was settled. Leon didn’t let go of Chris' hand though, nor stopped smiling in the same silly, lovesick way, the same way Chris smiled every time he saw Leon now, knowing he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the very end of my chreon stories, feel free to comment and send death threats (please use tumblr for this tho) and tell me what you liked, what you hated (actually don't do this or be nice if you do, I always remember this stuff and will kick myself about it) and if you enjoyed it. 
> 
> I did enjoy writing this most of the time. Towards the end, I realized too late that I had no fucking idea of what I was doing and it was too late. 
> 
> Also, thanks and sorry @Sparkie96, you def deserve lots of credit for this story too, but mostly for keeping up with my endless shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


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